Jokes about traffic safety

The following is the information about traffic safety jokes I compiled for you for your reference!

Jokes about traffic safety

Buy half a ticket.

On the bus, John, who just got on the bus, said to the conductor, I'll buy half a ticket. ?

The conductor asked strangely:? How to buy half a ticket?

John pointed to his body caught outside the door:? Half of me is still out there. ?

I don't know.

When Bauer came back from his car license test, his wife greeted him and asked eagerly. How's it going? Have you been admitted?

? I don't know. Bauer said gloomily.

? Why don't you know? What did the examiner tell you when you left?

? He didn't say anything. The examiner was still in a coma when I left. ?

Lucky.

Decorative planes are bombing London violently. A man went home by taxi, and the bomb almost hit the car several times. When he got home, he said to the driver. Please come in and have a drink with me, my friend We are very lucky today. ?

? Yes, sir. ? The driver replied:? I didn't run a red light all the way. ?

Walking in the rain.

On a rainy day, the husband drove home with his wife regardless. After nearly having an accident twice, the frightened wife finally said wisely:

? Honey, it might help if you turn on the wiper. ?

The husband shook his head. It's no use. I left my glasses at home. ?

Much better.

The whole family went out for a drive in their newly bought car. Suddenly the car stopped and the family pushed the cart hard for two hours in the scorching sun.

The husband stopped: now I finally understand what the car dealer means. ?

The wife wiped her sweat and asked? What did he say? He said that this car is very fuel-efficient. ?

Turn over what.

Gekko took a driver's license test.

The examiner asked? When you saw a chicken, a dog and a man, what did you run over?

? Of course, fuck off! ? Gekko answered.

The examiner shook his head. You can take the exam next time. ?

Gekko quickly corrected:? Run over that dog! ?

The examiner still shook his head.

Gekko is unconvinced:? If you don't run over the dog, do you want me to run over someone?

? You should brake! ?

Know the speed.

A:? Why does your car have no speed?

b:？ I didn't need it, so I took it off. ?

A:? No need? How can we know the speed without a speedometer?

b:？ It's simple. The exhaust pipe makes a noise of 20 kilometers per hour and 30 kilometers per hour.

As soon as the car door rang, I began to tremble at 40 kilometers per hour. ?

Stop the car.

In the evening, Ivana came home and said to her husband. Honey, I parked my car in the street. ?

? Why don't you park it in the garage?

? Honey, it's too dark in the street to get all the parts back. ?

Auto parts.

When the bus driver passed a mountain village, he asked a resident:

? Excuse me, where can I find auto parts here?

? Go ahead, there is a canyon after that sharp turn, and there are many more below. ?

What is this place?

Mike likes driving fast. Once he had an accident. An hour later, he woke up from a coma and groaned. What is this place?

? This is 103. ? The nurse said.

Mike asked? Ward or prison?

I am not blind.

A taxi galloped wildly in the city center and knocked down a pedestrian on the sidewalk.

As soon as the man came, he waved his fist and scolded the driver. What the heck is wrong with you? Are you blind? ?

The taxi driver retaliated and said, Are you blind? What do you mean? Didn't I just hit you?

You are so lucky.

Wilson hit a pedestrian with his motorcycle. He comforted the angry victim and said, you are very lucky, sir. It happened that I had a rest today. I usually drive big trucks! ?

A flooded car.

The wife called her husband and said that our car was flooded. ? The husband was surprised and asked: The car has just been inspected and it is in good condition. Why is it flooded? Where is the car now?

The wife cried and said, In the river! ?

The egg is not cooked.

A car was stopped by the traffic police when it passed the traffic sentry. The policeman said:? Do you see it? The water tank is boiling. ?

? I saw it. ?

? Yes, why not add water?

? Not yet?

? what did you say ?

? The eggs are not ripe yet. ?

Hands up.

The policeman said to an old lady who was driving illegally. Do you know what I mean by raising my hand? Lady.

? Of course, I know. I've been a teacher for 30 years, and it's the first time I've seen a policeman go to the toilet. ?