Who has a particularly funny joke (health)

1. Erlang often warns the roaring dog: Never steal the moon, or there will be disaster. This aroused its curiosity, so it sneaked out to steal food while Zhenjun was away. Who knows that my stomach hurts just after taking a bite? He crawled home whining and looked at his master with tears in his eyes. Erlang said to him, if you don't listen to me, you will suffer! Excuse me: Do you know what happened after the roaring dog ate the moon? Answer: I am pregnant, because I was pregnant in October.

2. My daughter went to a small kindergarten class and was complained on the first day of school. The reason is that the whole class is crying, but she is not crying. She sat there calmly, watching the teachers coax her one by one. Finally, she calmed down. She said: mom and dad don't want you! Suddenly the whole class cried again. . .

3. Little nephew suddenly ran over and handed me a bag of potato chips: Auntie! This is for you to eat. My brain is running at full speed. This is cheating! Look carefully, the outer packaging is intact and airtight, and it is still within the shelf life. With his sincere eyes, no problem. Then tear it open and eat it. . . A few minutes later, he suddenly fell to the ground and shouted, snowballing: grandma! Aunt stole my last pack of snacks! My mother ran out of the kitchen: dead girl, how do you eat children's food? Why don't you go out and buy him more? Me! @#! @#

4. Enjoy the cool with my son in the yard, look up, a bright moon is high in the sky, and several white clouds float by. . . "Dad, what do you think of the moon and white clouds?" "It's the moon and white clouds. What else can it look like? " "Slice! No imagination at all! Like a soup pot of instant-boiled mutton! ! ! By the way, when will you eat the instant-boiled mutton you promised me? " Me. . .

5. I went shopping today and saw a couple. That woman is very beautiful. I sighed at the sky: "Good cabbages have been arched by pigs." The man overheard it and tried to hit me. His girlfriend pulled him and said, "Don't worry about people who are worse than pigs." Me. . .

6. Before going to bed at noon, husband: Daughter-in-law, you can sleep peacefully! I'll catch mosquitoes for you! I was moved to sleep. . . As soon as I fell asleep, I heard a loud laugh. When I opened my eyes, I saw that it was my husband. Husband: After chasing mosquitoes a few times, I suddenly felt like a pork seller.

7. If you have nothing to do in a day, you can bring your dog and kitten to play together. Want to see a cat fight with a dog, my wife reached out and hit the cat on the head, so a classic line appeared. My wife said to the cat, "It's a dog."

8. Reading pornographic books with classmates in class, the teacher found out and took my book away. A week later, I was going to ask the teacher to return the book to me, so I bravely went to the office: "Teacher, that. . . Books. . . "teacher:" oh! Are you here to get the book? " I was ecstatic and said, "Yeah! Yeah! " Teacher: "Sorry, other teachers took it."

9. The Chinese teacher asked who let the "cold wind disturb the flying snow for no reason." Explain? There is a saying on the street corner that "snow is good, but the wind is not serious". A whistle suddenly sounded in the classroom.

10. Me: "Beauty, do you want to make an appointment?" Beauty: "Let me ask you a math problem. If you answer correctly, make an appointment. 3-8=? "Me:" -5 "Beauty:" You have miscalculated, so don't make an appointment. " Shit, there's a problem!

1 1. Girlfriend is a woman. In order to make me look good in front of my friends and show her feminine side, she said, "Husband, help others unscrew this beer bottle cap ~" at the midnight snack stand, scaring me to sit on the ground!

12. The temperature plummeted, and I caught a bad cold and had a fever of 39 degrees. After taking the medicine, I climbed into bed, tucked myself in and fell asleep. In a daze, I felt my wife came in and touched my forehead with pity. Afraid of waking me up, I got into bed and thought to myself: My wife understands me. Suddenly my wife hugged me tightly: "Emma, it's freezing outside. You're still warm."

13. Two old people went to the nursing home, and the 70-year-old man went in, but the 90-year-old man didn't. Staff: "Sorry, Grandpa, we don't accept elderly people whose children are alive. Your information shows that you have a son. " 90-year-old man: That's my son who just went in!