I want to hear a joke.

2. The cashier said: No change. Here are two plastic bags for you!

3. My advantages are: I am handsome; But my shortcoming is that I am not handsome.

If you have time to learn Feng Shui, you can make up for the regret that you can't afford a good house before you die.

5: others are equipped with experience, and I want to be equipped with experience.

6: I am a fat man, not a clown.

7: If Taiwan Province Province doesn't recover, I won't pass Grade 4!

8: I won't go to work until the sun comes out; If I come out, I'll go back to sleep!

9: Snails run wildly.

10: I have to watch the Forbes rich list every morning when I get up. If my name is not on it, I will go to work.

1 1: Talking about money doesn't hurt feelings, but talking about love hurts money the most.

12: I curse you for buying instant noodles all your life without seasoning packets.

13: The accountant said, "Come and get paid later. I have no change here. "

14: Can you see my powder?

15: Although you wear cologne, I can still vaguely smell that scum.

My name is Yu, and my nickname is Runtu.

17: Please serve Yangzhou fried rice, with more chopped green onion, less salt and more eggs. Pack it and take it away.

18: once I was on the street, a group of girls stopped me. They said I was handsome, but when I denied it, they hit me and called me hypocritical.

19: it is both house and rotten, and its future is uncertain.

Failure is not terrible, the key is success or not.

2 1: The most mysterious department in history: related departments.

There is no denying that mosaic is the biggest obstacle to the progress of human art in this century!

There are only two things I can't do in my life: neither this nor that.

24: People have backgrounds, and I have backgrounds.

25: The ideal of meat, the life of cabbage.

26: White Horse … Where did you die! Did you lose your prince and dare not come to see me?

27: Ming Sao is easy to hide and hard to prevent.

28: Don't treat shrimp as seafood.

I am an angel, because of my weight, I can't go back to heaven.

30: Your mother is your father's cousin? (It implies that this person's parents are married by close relatives, and the children married by close relatives are generally 2 .............................).

3 1: Today's college students are so incompetent! Come here to copy the film, cut it!

32: There are too many liars and obviously not enough fools.

I just killed the dragon on the road, swam across the river, climbed to the top of the tower and kissed your princess.

I smiled at the sky from the horizontal knife, and then I went to sleep.

35: Your mobile phone is cheaper than the phone bill.

It's a long way to Xiu Yuan, so let's take a taxi.

My life has two sides: A and B, and yours has two sides: S and B. ..

38: I am not afraid of thieves with tools, but I am afraid that thieves know technology!

On one occasion, the Xiongnu in the north wanted to attack the Central Plains, and sent someone to send a "battle table" first. When the emperor opened it, it turned out to be "heavenly heart takes rice". None of the ministers of the Qing Dynasty solved the mystery. The emperor couldn't take it easy, so he had to post a list to recruit talents. At this time, an official named He Tang in the palace said that there was a plan to withdraw troops, and the emperor urgently declared He Tang to go to the temple. He Tang pointed to the four words on the "battle table" and said to the emperor: "God, my country is also; Heart, Central Plains also: rice, holy also. Taking rice from the heart is to seize the country and take the position of king. " The emperor said urgently, "What should I do?" He Tang said, "Nothing, I have my own way out." He said, holding a pen in his hand and adding a pen to each of the four words. The original letter was returned to the sender. Marshal Xiongnu, who led the troops, thought that the Central Plains did not dare to fight. When he opened it, he was shocked and retreated urgently. It turned out that He Tang became "not necessarily dare to come" after adding one word each to "heavenly heart takes rice".

An American, a Japanese and a China are walking in the desert.

Walking, I saw a bottle, opened the cork and a man floated out.

The man said, "I am a fairy, and I can grant each of you three wishes!" " "

The American was the first to say, "My first wish is to ask for a lot of money."

The fairy said, "this is simple and will satisfy you!" Tell me about the second wish. "

The American said: I want a lot of money! "

After the fairy fulfilled her wish, the American said his third wish: "Take me home."

The fairy said, "No problem."

So Americans came back to America with a lot of money.

The fairy asked the Japanese again.

The Japanese said, "I want beautiful women!" "

The fairy gave him a beautiful woman.

The Japanese said: I still want beautiful women! "

The fairy also satisfied him and gave him a beautiful woman. ..

The Japanese finally said, "Send me back to Japan."

After the fairy sent the Japanese back to China, she asked the people of China what they wanted.

China people said, "Let's have a bottle of Erguotou first."

The fairy gave it to him. Ask him what his second wish is.

China people say: Another bottle of Erguotou! "

The fairy asked him what his third wish was.

China said, "I miss Japanese and Americans very much. Please bring them back. " .

An American, a German, a Japanese and an American are sitting on a plane. Halfway through, the plane suddenly ran out of gas. The captain announced that someone had to jump off the plane to reduce the weight, so the American showed personal heroism and went to the door of the plane and shouted: Long live America and other countries! ! Then I jumped! The plane continued to fly ... at this moment, the captain announced that the weight was still too heavy, and one person had to jump! So the Germans stood up, walked to the door of the plane and shouted: Long live the German Empire! Jumped down, too The plane continued to fly ... At this moment, the captain announced: No, it's still heavy, and one more person must jump! China glanced at the Japanese, stood up and walked to the hatch of the plane. The Japanese rushed to hold China's hand: Good brother, I won't forget you! The people of China shouted: Long live the people and country of China! ! Then I kicked the Japanese down with one foot! ! ......