Awkward anecdotes, jokes and stories

Embarrassed joke story: The father sat in front of the computer and sent QQ messages to his son. Dear son XX, long time no see. How have you been? Mom and dad miss you very much. My sister is a little taller. Don't surf the internet every day, remember to exercise more. If you are free? Turn off the computer and go downstairs to have dinner with us, okay? More wonderful jokes are in the joke column, welcome to enjoy!

The anecdote joke story (1) 1, Liu Bei, Zhuge Liang, Sun Quan and Cao Cao went out to travel by plane, but they met with an accident and only had three parachutes. Zhuge Liang put forward: I ask questions and you answer them. Whoever can't answer them will have no parachute. ? Three people agree. Ask Liu Bei:? How many suns are there in the sky? ? Ask sun quan:? How many moons are there? One. ? Ask Cao Cao:? How many stars are there? Cao Cao was thrown down.

Cao Cao died last time, but he didn't fall to death. The four of them traveled together again. Encounter the same problem. Zhuge Liang asked Liu Bei: What was the most crucial battle to attack Zhou? ? Ask sun quan:? How many people died? 40,000 to 50,000? Ask Cao Cao:? What's the name of the deceased? Cao Cao was thrown out again.

Cao Cao didn't fall to death again, and the four of them went out again. The plane crashed again. Cao Cao thought, I'm going out anyway, so I'll just jump myself! After Cao Cao jumped, Zhuge Liang wondered: He took four parachutes this time. How did he jump?

Cao Cao didn't fall to death again, and the four of them went out again. The plane crashed again. Cao Cao thought he couldn't jump this time, so he said to go to the toilet. Liu Bei, Zhuge Liang and Sun Quan jumped with parachutes. Cao Cao sat on the toilet and the plane crashed!

Embarrassed joke story (2) Liu Bei invited Zhuge Liang to talk about welfare treatment. Zhuge Liang said: I am a pair of dumb people today. If you can pair up, I will go with you. If not, then you don't have to come in the future. Liu Bei thought: What are these dumb people?

Zhang Fei thought to himself, it would be a pity if eldest brother can't get it right, so I'm right. I just kill pigs', and everyone knows that I have no education, and I am not ashamed of being wrong.

So the dumb pair began: Zhuge Liang pointed to the sky and Zhang Fei pointed to the ground; Zhuge Liang stretched out a finger; Zhang Fei held out three fingers; Zhuge Liang high-fived three times; Zhang Fei high-fived nine times; Zhuge Liang drew a circle on his chest; Zhang Fei patted his head, and the dumb couple ended. Without saying anything, Zhuge Liang packed his luggage and followed Liu Bei.

After a long time, Liu Bei asked Zhuge Liang who won that day? Zhuge Liang said: General Zhang won! Liu Bei asked again: What did you say? Zhuge Liang said: I mean the sky, the upper knowledge of astronomy, and he means the earth, the lower knowledge of geography; I stretch one finger to represent national unity, and he stretches three fingers to represent the three kingdoms; I clap my hands three times, representing three to three, and he clap his hands nine times to represent nine to nine; I draw a circle on my chest, which means I have a bright heart. If he pats his head, it means my head is dry!

Liu Bei met Zhang Fei. Q: I said Zhang Xiandi, who won the dumb contest that day? Zhang Fei: Of course I won.

Liu Bei: What did you say?

Zhang Fei: The Prime Minister probably knows that I have killed pigs before, so he asked questions around pigs. At first, he pointed to the sky, which means the weather is very good today. I said I was just going to catch pigs in the field. Does he mean catching pigs? I don't know, how to catch three bites, one bite is not enough to kill, he let the pig catch 30 pounds? What I said is wrong. 30 kg is a pig, and a big pig should weigh at least 90 kg. He asked again, are these pig hearts and pig intestines sold together? I patted my head and told him that as long as you have money, I will sell this pig head to you.

Embarrassed joke story (3) 1, Bao Zheng: Mr. Gongsun, what is Kaifeng House?

Gongsun Ce (without thinking): Hui's adult, Kaifengfu is a relative of the students and also their mother ~ ~ ~

Bao Zheng (stroking his beard and nodding): Well, your answer is very good. Kaifeng is your mother. You should love her! !

Zhan Zhao glanced at Bao Zheng and shivered!

Bao Zheng: Tell me, Zhan Hu, what is Kaifengfu?

Zhan Zhao (trembling): Lord Hui, Kaifengfu is Mr. Sun's mother!

2. Zhan Zhao was unconvinced by Gongsun Ce, and he was sarcastic on purpose.

Zhan Zhao: Sometimes, sir, stupid people ask questions that smart people can't answer. Think about it, why is this?

Gongsun Ce: Mr Zhan, you can't answer this question.

3. Bao Zheng and Gongsun Ce gambled again.

Bao Zheng: You know everything, but you can't tell jokes, can you?

Gongsun Ce: Gee, there are so many jokes in one sentence, I'm afraid you don't understand.

Bao Zheng: Ha ha ha, how can you not understand? What a joke.

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