A self-deprecating joke

1. Yesterday at Wal-Mart, I suddenly had a stomachache and wanted to rush into the bathroom. As soon as I squatted down, I started an earth-shattering eruption. As a result, the child next door burst into tears. Her mother asked her what was wrong, and she said, smelly ~ ~

2. My brother went to a primary school to play basketball and heard a junior girl ask a junior boy, "Do you love me or not?" The boy said helplessly, "My mother gives me money from 3 yuan every day, of which 2.5 yuan is for you to buy snacks.". Do you think I love you or not?

. 3. I suddenly received a phone call that day: "Guess who I am? Guess there is a gift! " I guessed all possible people, and they were wrong. Then I got angry and asked, "Who are you? Don't say I'm dead! " As a result, the man said, "I'm a courier, and you have a package ..."

I farted on the bus, and when I saw people around me waving with painful expressions, I waved. The lady next to her turned and said, stop pretending.

One day at 4 o'clock in the middle of the night, a friend called and said, "Well, I just saw one of your missed calls on my mobile phone last year, so I called to ask you what happened." I was suddenly speechless.

6. My wife and I went to the reclining Buddha Temple to play. My wife can't walk on the road, so I carry her on my back. An old woman saw it and said seriously, you see, you are also a scholar. My wife is ill, so it's no use going to the hospital earlier.

7. When I got out of the carport and got the car, I saw no one around, so I bravely put a P, which caused a loud noise from the burglar alarm of the electric motorcycle next door.