Jokes of garbled words in composition

1. The composition "China Joke" about writing Chinese jokes

The teacher asked us to find jokes caused by mispronouncing Chinese characters, so people in our group flipped through books and surfed the Internet, and finally found some jokes. In ancient times, there was a landlord who could not read and spent money to buy a county magistrate. On his first day in office, he went to court to ask questions. The master handed over the prisoner's book and took the prisoner to court. The first prisoner's name is Jae Wang Jun. When the magistrate saw it, he wondered: What's the name of this prisoner? But in order to show his official prestige, he was shocked and shouted: "In the future!" ! After listening to you again, I am also puzzled: "In the past, county officials always called their names first. Why did they call me first and then call me? " But he took a step back. The magistrate looked at it and said to himself, why did you call your name and step back? Then there was a slap of wood that shook the hall and shouted, "Come back again!" " "After hearing your words again, he took a step back. The magistrate looked at him and said to himself, Why did you give me trouble on the first day? Then he shouted, "Go back! Looking at Xiaojun again, he knew he was serious and said, "Sir, you can't retreat any more." There is a wall behind you. "The county magistrate said," I will call your name. " "I don't mean backward, but handsome again." Hearing this, the county magistrate blushed and said, "Handsome fart, pockmarked face!" " "A student wrote in his composition:" My mother is a middle-aged woman in her thirties. " The teacher circled the middle of the year and wrote: redundant. After the students changed, it became like this: my mother is an extra woman in her thirties. Once upon a time, there was a Mr. Ran Weng who wrote a letter to his uncle. The letter said: Uncle, are you all right, but are you doing a good job? This letter is addressed to my uncle, but he can't read very well. It says: Uncle, you are not good, and your work is smooth. As can be seen from the jokes above, mispronouncing Chinese characters will confuse the content of the article, ranging from making jokes to making big problems. The jokes made by Chinese characters are really interesting, but we must learn Chinese characters well and don't make jokes.

2. Fill in the number of words. Today, before coming home from school, the homework assigned by the teacher was a small exercise-writing a composition of 100 words, the content of which is my plan for the coming summer vacation.

When he got home, Xiao Ming immediately took out his composition book and wrote a long paragraph. After a while, he thought, "I should write so much, or I'll forget it!" " "One, two, three, four,-,eighty-six, eighty-seven, eighty-eight, ah, there are twelve words left.

What shall we do? Xiaoming stares at his eyes, but his heart is in a hurry. I thought I would be criticized by the teacher if I wrote twelve words casually.

Oh, I am so angry. I'm so bored and anxious. Suddenly, Xiao Ming glanced at it casually and found a piece of paper stuck on the table, which was his motto: You can't eat hot tofu if you are impatient.

I want to calm down, calm down again and believe in myself. Isn't that twelve words? I saw him holding his chin in his hand, staring straight at the ceiling and racking his brains to think, "If I had known, I wouldn't have cut corners. Hey, do you want to stop writing and elaborate? No, it will look like a sword. Training and scraping Yi Bo? Suddenly, rdquo Ming remembered that a storyteller had an accident on TV the night before yesterday.

Tell a story, tell a story, by the way, he patted his head and said, "Yes, people on TV do it, and the audience still listens with relish." I should be able to do it, hehe, that's settled. " Xiaoming picked up a pen and drew a few strokes.

Because he solved the problem himself, his mood changed from rain to cloudy and from cloudy to sunny like the weather, and he made a 360-degree turn and smiled. The next day, the composition was sent, and the teacher criticized Xiaoming in class. "Do you know what the last twelve words Xiao Ming wrote?" If you want to know what to do next, listen to the next chapter.

Haha, the whole class burst into laughter, and most of the students burst into tears. Do you know what the fate of spelling words is? That's criticism.

3. Tell jokes, haha, fill in the words. A man went fishing by the river, wearing a leaf first ~ no fish took the bait for a long time, so he changed a piece of bread ~ no fish took the bait for a long time ~ no choice, so he had to change earthworms ~ no fish took the bait for a long time ~ ~ He was angry ~ He took out 100 RMB, fell into the water and cursed: "*-# What do you want to eat! Buy it yourself! !

One day, I went to the reservoir just to go fishing with a pole. The administrator ran over and shouted, "Miss, fishing is forbidden here!" " ""I didn't fish! " "Don't fish? "But you have tools on you!" The manager pointed to the fishing gear next to me. "I'm sorry, I have to detain you." "Then I will sue you!" "Accuse me of what?" "I tell you, although the bow is a woman, I will fuck you!" "I haven't touched you at all." "But you have tools.

4. What routines did you use to supplement the number of words in your composition? 1. You don't have to "own ..." the description of the appearance.

When describing a character's appearance, we often see such a sentence: "XX is very beautiful. She has curly yellow hair, big black eyes like grapes, a tall nose and a small cherry mouth." Such sentences all begin with "You ……", which is plain and nothing new. Avoid using sentences such as "you ……", but expand each description part to form several short sentences, which can not only add color to the article, but also effectively expand the number of words in the article.

2. Language description is not just "speaking"

When describing a language, there are many ways to make the characters speak. You don't need to say "say" in the article, but add actions and demeanor in front of the language. For example, changing Zhang San's helpless saying: "…" into Zhang San's stand-up comic dialogue, with a helpless look: "…" Obviously, the latter gives people a better feeling and enriches the number of words in the article to some extent. In Chinese narrative writing, we must consciously train such writing skills, so that our writing level can be effectively improved and they can learn to describe details instead of just writing "so-and-so" in a dry way.

3. Don't abuse idioms

Author: Xiao Wa

Link: /question/58027335/ answer /3 136 15664.

Source: Zhihu.

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In the minds of many students and parents, it is believed that the more idioms appear in the article, the better the author's literary talent. Actually, it's not. On the contrary, the extensive use of idioms with routines is counterproductive, which easily leads to aesthetic fatigue and boredom of marking teachers, and the article also loses the sense of detail. For example, instead of "sunny days" in spring, I wrote: "The wind blows over the top of the forest, and the originally calm lake surface ripples in circles, and the willows by the lake sway. I can't help but open my arms and let the wind caress every inch of my skin, which is warm and itchy. " Try to replace idioms that others have overused with concrete sentences to solve the problem that children's compositions are not long or detailed.

4. Replace adverbs like "very" and "very"

For example, when writing hot, don't use the word "very hot". Learn to use other descriptions to express heat: the sun is like fire, there is no wind, the leaves are drooping and lifeless ... the article can naturally be written very long.

5. Verbs are used for action description.

The constant use of verbs in action description can make the details of the article more vivid and aura. For example, a student wrote a table tennis match: "He served a spinning ball, which made people see things in a blur." After learning the verb skills, it will be revised to: "I saw him throw the ball high and stare at it." At the moment when the ball hit the ball board, his wrist shook slightly, and when his foot was stamped, the ball flew out at a high speed, which was dazzling. " A verb turns into six or seven in an instant, words are smart and rich in an instant, sentences have changed from dry short plays to long sentences, and the number of words in the article has increased unconsciously.

In fact, these moves look easy, but they are still very difficult to use. Writing a composition in the examination room, in particular, is very different from writing a diary or feeling by yourself. I suggest you write more and write more!

When the class teacher changed in the fourth grade, the number of words in the composition suddenly changed from 300 to 800.

I can't write more than 400 words

Catch up with writing a spring outing, I had a brainwave.

"Before getting on the bus, the monitor began to call the roll, Jason, Li Huan, Chen Sisi, Yin Jie .............................."

I wrote down the names of the whole class.

In the end, there is still a big gap.

So I wrote another paragraph.

"Spring outing is over, everyone is ready to go home. Before getting on the bus, the monitor began to call the roll, Jason, Li Huan, Chen Sisi and Yin Jie. ................................................................................................................................

I feel smart while writing.

After writing and calculating, you still need 80 words, so don't bother.

"The monitor called the roll and found that some students left the team in violation of discipline. So he called the roll again, Jason, Li Huan, Chen Sisi, Yin Jie .................................... "

Fortunately, the next day is Thursday, and I only need to stand for two days.

5. A lot of jokes. Some idiots laughed when they got there.

1, husband: "I didn't know until I got married that marriage is a heavy shackle!"

Wife: "Of course, so two people have to bear it together."

The husband tentatively asked, "If three people share these pressures, do you think the pressure will be reduced?"

2. Wife: "Husband, I am neither beautiful nor virtuous nor gentle. Why do you still love me so much and marry me? "

Husband: "Test! How come I never thought about this? So many years have passed in such a muddle! I also want to know the answer! "

Wife: "Get out! ! ! "

3. The wife said, "Husband, let's get a couple tattoo!" !

The husband said, "What is the tattoo like?"

The wife said: "You can tattoo one: Wife, I love you, I will never change my mind, I will always be good to you, and I will buy you delicious, delicious and good clothes." If I change my mind, I will break my hands and feet and end up buried in cow dung, and I will never live! "

Husband: "God, doesn't it hurt?" Then what's your tattoo? "

Wife: "I can get a tattoo: OK"

4. When my wife comes home from work, she sighs as soon as she sits on the sofa and ignores her! You look sad!

Unbearable, I turned off the computer and got up to cook. When the meal was ready, my wife made a muffled voice, wolfed it down, wiped her mouth with paper, and suddenly smiled and said, "Haha, this trick taught by colleagues really works! Continue tomorrow! "

6. The joke about typos is 1. It is said that Li Hongzhang has a distant relative who is ignorant. In his senior year, he took the provincial exam, but he couldn't answer a word when he got the test paper. He was so anxious that he was busy writing on the test paper that he was a relative of Li Hongzhang.

But I can't write the word "qi". Write "I am nave's own wife".

After reading it, the examiner criticized, "So I dare not bring (marry). 2. An uneducated young woman wrote home: Dear Mom and Dad, please rest assured that I have become one with poor peasants and middle peasants.

Now I sleep in a pit (kang) with Lao Lang (mom) every night, and my stomach (courage) is getting bigger and bigger.

Brother wrote back: Sister, I have good news for you. My mother hanged herself.

Don't worry about anything else. The student wrote in his composition: "I was walking on the road when suddenly a pile of cow dung appeared on the road, and I was shocked."

After reading it, the teacher approved: "massive, massive." The student wrote in the composition: "My mother is a middle-aged woman in her thirties."

The teacher criticized under the word "middle age": "redundant." Then let the students copy it again.

After the students copied it once, this sentence became: "My mother is an extra middle-aged woman in her thirties." The physics teacher asked Ah Shui to print a report on free fall.

Handsome inadvertently wrote that birds are free and naked.

6. One day, when Xiao Wu visited Chen Xiao's house, he happened to meet Xiao Chen. He was furious because his son made a mistake in his copybook.

So Xiao Wu quickly persuaded Xiao Chen to say, "It's always inevitable for children to write wrong words. Why are you so angry? " Xiao Chen told Xiao Wu, "He always writes his ancestors as inferior ancestors. Do you think I am angry? " ? .

7. Write a composition about laughter. The number of words is more than 400. Laughter and rain gradually stopped, and clear light came in from behind the curtains. Open the window and have a look. The clouds are gone, and the residual water droplets on the leaves reflect the moon, flashing and moving like a thousand fluorescent spots. -I didn't expect such a beautiful picture after the bitter rain!

Standing in front of the window for a while, I felt a little cold. When I turned around, I was dazzled, and everything else in the room was hidden in the light cloud; A quiet glow, only immersed in the angel in the wall painting. -angels in white, holding flowers, holding wings, smiled at me.

"This smile seems to have been seen somewhere. When will I ... "I unconsciously sat under the window and thought quietly.

The closed heart curtain slowly opened, pouring out an impression of five years ago. -A long ancient road, and the mud under the donkey's feet is slippery. The water in the ditch gurgled. The green trees near the village are all caged in wet smoke. Bowed crescent moon, hanging in the treetops. Walking, there seems to be a child on the side of the road, holding a pile of white things. The donkey passed by with no intention of turning back. He smiled at me barefoot with flowers in his arms.

"This smile seems to have been seen somewhere!" I still want to-silently.

Another curtain of gravity appeared, which slowly opened and poured out the impression of ten years ago. -the rain under the eaves falls on Mao's clothes drop by drop. The blisters on the edge of the earth steps are turning. Long Mai and the grape trellis in front of the door are bright and beautiful new yellow and light green. -After a while, it finally cleared up and went downhill quickly. I saw the moon coming head-on from the sea, and suddenly remembered that I had forgotten something, stopped and turned around. The old woman in this small room-leaning against the door, holding flowers, smiled at me slightly.

This same subtle expression, like a hairspring, flutters together and closes together.

At this time, I feel relaxed and happy, such as entering a fairyland and returning home. San Xiao, who appeared in front of me, suddenly melted and couldn't see clearly in the harmony of love. "Bing Xin"