Humorous jokes to calm women down.

Humorous jokes that coax women to calm down will inevitably stumble, which needs to add a little fun to the boring life. Moreover, it is an important task for men to be a small expert in coaxing people with high emotional intelligence. Here are some humorous jokes to calm women down.

Humorous jokes calm women down 1 1. Motto of office intern: Mom says women must save face. If someone hits you on the left face, you can put your right face together and let him hit you, otherwise the foundation will be different.

2. At the director's family dinner, my sister-in-law helped to serve the food. A guest bet that you touched my sister's milk and I drank a glass of wine. As a result, the two sides really fulfilled their promises. Unexpectedly, my sister-in-law said, brother-in-law, just put your hand on it and drink him to death!

I saw an old woman lying on the ground today, and I don't know whether to help her. I just want to go up and help her The old lady said, "Get out of here, poor child, and leave my mother alone."

It just got warmer today, so I took off my shirt again. My wife asked me why I took it off. I don't think I can pull my thesis well. I'll be a duck prophet by the river, and I'll regret it when I'm done.

5, when I was a child, I was better than my academic performance. Growing up is better than salary. Now I have to go! Leave me alone, I just want to be an undisputed garbage, but I really did it before I found out that even garbage should be classified!

6. One day, the monkey came to the cat's house to play. Seeing the cat and mouse running around arrogantly, the monkey was puzzled. He asked the cat curiously:

7. Do you feel that someone who often doesn't talk to you suddenly misses you? I'm telling you, it's purely borrowing money.

8. Husband and wife go out for an outing by bike. After two people labored and struggled to climb a big slope, the husband gasped and said:

9. For a foodie, the words "never eaten" represent endless grievances, and the words "definitely not delicious" successfully cover up the embarrassment of not eating. And a simple "Have you eaten?" Expressed the infinite yearning of the heart.

10, my friend and I came to a fork in the road, and we said goodbye with a song: "I'll send you away, thousands of miles away." As a result, "thousands of miles away" went away.

1 1. A man knocked down a strange old man on a motorcycle in the downtown area, and the man was scared and at a loss. There are more and more people watching. Suddenly, the man hugged the old man and cried in tears:

12, went to the zoo to see tigers when I was a child, and vowed to keep one when I grew up. Now my dream has finally come true. Anyway, it's time to wash clothes and cook for my wife later!

13. Today, our old lady passed away and all the family members were crying. Suddenly, a person's mobile phone rang, and the voice of the cottage was very loud ... Today is a good day, and everything I thought can be realized.

14, the first time I went to a hotel with my girlfriend, I got up as soon as I entered the door.

15, an old lady can't read, but she likes listening to the radio. The weather forecast must be heard every day. One day at dinner, I asked my family:

16, I found 20 yuan on the bus today, and another person saw it. If you have to share it with me, I have no choice but to share it. When I bought breakfast, I found that 20 yuan was mine.

17, if you withdraw, you will be prompted "A message has been withdrawn". Please, I just don't want anyone to find out!

18, if you are a mobile phone, I am your music card; If you are a fixed line, I am your receiver; If you are PHS, I will accompany you to roam, dear, let me be your eyes!

19, remember? When you went to the TV station to sing a song, four referees and three fell down. Fortunately, a referee came on stage and shook hands with you excitedly and said, talent! It costs money for others to sing, and your singing is fatal!

20. The wife said that she had a dream about xxoo with others. I asked: Did you resist? Wife: I don't think so. Me: You don't even resist, divorce! In the middle of the next night, I slept soundly and was kicked out of bed by my wife.

2 1, I used to watch TV idol dramas to chat up:

On the 22nd, a boy's dormitory slept until 3 am, and suddenly I wanted to discuss a problem.

On this day, the boss asked the cashier about the payment. Boss:

I used to think that poverty and loneliness could not catch up with me as long as I tried to run forward. But who would have thought that the hairline couldn't catch up with me.

25. I want to be a degenerate rich woman, addicted to male sex all day, getting something for nothing, learning nothing, falling in love without injury, eating too much and not getting fat.

26. What is the generation gap? I just put on my new clothes and walked around in front of my mother and said, mom, is there a model? Mom gave me a look and said, yes, in the pot, help yourself.

27. I have a dream since I was a child, that is, wearing sunglasses to drive a Lamborghini sports car. After years of hard work, I have realized half my dream and have sunglasses.

28. One day you won an award and you can travel by air for free. Sadness: The plane crashed. Hi: There are parachutes. Sadness: I can't open it. Hi: There are haystacks on the ground. Sadness: There is an iron fork on it. Hi: I didn't fall on the fork. Sadness: I didn't fall on the haystack either.

29. I am on a business trip with my leader. High-speed railway station met an international student from Africa and asked my leader:

30. Mom: Which apple do you want? Child: The big one, the biggest one. Mom: Son, you should be polite. Take the small one. Child: Do you have to lie if you are polite?

3 1, the biggest failure in life is Tang Priest. People around him, whether friends or enemies, always want to send him to the west.

32, steamed bread and noodles fight, steamed bread cried, so go home and call steamed stuffed bun to revenge, the result is instant noodles to open the door, steamed bread said:

33, men summon up courage to confess to the goddess:

Jason and Angie are newlyweds. Angie:

35. Go to buy fruit today. Wife: Wow! Honey, this orange is so big. Do you want to eat? Me: OK! Buy some. Wife: This apple is OK! Me: Well, that's good! Wife: What about mangoes? Me: Can't you eat mangoes recently? Wife: Then the boss wants two Jin of mangoes!

36. Love is empty, and I wander in the street; People are empty of money, and a single evil cause is troublesome; Things are different, business is empty, and it is crazy to think about it; Life is not easy when the mobile phone is empty and there is no money to charge it;

37. Go to the mountain to go to the grave, play with your mobile phone during the break, and owe a hand to people nearby, showing four people within 100 meters. I looked at the empty community with only a few graves and scared me to pee! Go home and then open the people nearby, or those four! !

38. One day you stood on the bus platform and laughed, causing passers-by to treat you as a rare animal. One of them asked you why you giggled. You fought back your laughter and said proudly, I fooled the ticket buyer and didn't get on the bus.

39, today to buy steamed stuffed bun, told the boss selling steamed stuffed bun:

40. I have a skill in eating shrimp. Shrimp is thrown into my mouth, and the shell is shell meat and meat. My daughter-in-law eats one, I can eat 10, but she can't beat me every time. To this end, she has been practicing hard to eat shrimp skills, and finally one day she successfully defeated me-she asked me to peel it for her.

4 1, a family of three went to a restaurant for dinner. After eating, dad pays the bill, and mom says to the waiter, can I pack the leftovers for the dog? The waiter said: Certainly, please. The son next to him asked, do we really want to buy a dog?

42. In the basketball match, the cheerleaders have been cheering for Xiao Wang, only to hear a bang and Xiao Wang exploded.

43. One day, after handling the withdrawal business for a male customer, I confessed: Please put your card away. When I looked again, I found that the zipper of the customer's handbag was not properly zipped. I told him: Please zip it. The customer immediately lowered his head and colleagues around him laughed.

Humorous jokes make women calm down 2 1, whether you are by my side or on the horizon. Thinking of you in the corner of the world makes the world gentle and stable.

2. You are the obsession of my boring life and the future I think about.

Have you read the poems written by Shen Congwen? I only loved one person, and I was the best at his age.

4. Spend the rest of your life with me. If not, I'll think of another way.

I always drink before meeting you. In case you ask me why I blush, I'll say it's because of drinking.

6. I used my half-life loneliness to pay homage to your lovesickness, and there is no medicine to cure it.

7. I feel that your name is angular and just inserted into my heart.

8. I suddenly wanted to kiss you, but I felt too reserved to tell you, so I covered my face and kissed my palm.

9. You are different. You are my next life.

10, this feeling is really strange. I already have you, but every time I look at you, I still want to confess to you and talk to you again.

1 1. I won't say "I didn't know what true love was until I met you". I really love everyone.

12, you will always be the most elegant, special and charming in my heart.

13, do you want to consider staying with me? All the lucky money is yours.

14, I found you a liar, because I look much better than the photo.

15, seeing you always makes me forget my previous sadness and think of my childhood happiness.

16, along the way, it may be a long way, but fortunately, you have been with me.

17, sika deer are common in the forest, and sperm whales are often encountered in the sea. You are the most beautiful in your dream.

Humorous jokes calm women down 3 1. Do you know the difference between Tang Priest and me? He learns from the scriptures and I marry you.

No matter how much I do, it is to make you happy and happy.

3. My life is not wasted unless I am with you.

Listen to each other's heartbeat, which is the most beautiful melody in the world.

I love you not because of my choice, but because of God's will.

6. Without your company, I would rather die alone.

7. I won't love anyone except you. You are not allowed to love anyone but me.

8. I like a person who doesn't break the law. Even if I break the law, I will commit crimes against the wind.

9. I saw the moon break your shadow and fall into my eyes.

10, don't wait for your Xia Zixian, this fairy is your Xia Zixian.

Life is short and sweet after meeting you.

12. In this life, I went over mountains and waters and turned to stupa, not to repair the afterlife, but to meet you on the road.

13. Happiness means that if I have food, I will never let you go hungry.

14. In the past, mountains were mountains and the sea was the sea. Now the mountains and rivers are all yours.

15, I hope that one day, we will not say good night to each other, but stay together.

16, I miss you every day and love you constantly.

17, I can't love while walking. You are blocking the sea of people by yourself.

18, this is the urinal, this is the urinal, you are my little baby.

19, I love you, I am willing to hold hands with you, never break up and never let go!

20. I have a three-life contract with Qing, and I will live and die together and never bear it.

2 1, your name is as simple as death, but it keeps filling my heart.

22. Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is in love. Please redial later.

23. My temper drove away many people, but left the truest one.

I don't need advice for the rest of my life. I am at your disposal.

25. Your collar is blue, and my heart always thinks about it.

26. I am trapped in my heart by a dragon, and I have a gentle universe for you.

27. You are like this rose, one in a million. I am honored to fall in love with you.

28. I miss you so much that the first sentence is false and the second sentence is false.

I want to let the whole world know that this fish pond has been contracted by you.

30. Do you want to be greater and more immortal, or become eternal in an instant?

3 1, I hope to grow old together and travel-stained.

32. I want to give you a lot of lipstick so that you can repay me a little every day.

33. Great. The person you like is the same as your head.

I can see you and sunshine when I wake up every morning. This is the future I want.

35. Hold your waist and feel the arrival of happiness.

36. My feet will accompany you to the ends of the earth.

37. I am your fearless warrior and a sleeping cat in your arms.

38. You filled my life with love and tears.

39. In fact, people who have always cared about you are around you. Haven't you noticed?

40. Through thousands of miles, Wan Li, clouds, everyone is you.

4 1, I can stay up with you, and I will advise you to go to bed early, but the best state is that we sleep together!

42. I just want to regard you as the protagonist in my life, that's all.

43. Romance and beauty are intertwined.

44. Meeting you in this life is a reward.

45. If liking you is a mistake, repeat it!

46. I have an appointment with the three generations of the Qing Dynasty, and I will live and die together and never bear it.

As a matter of fact, I dare not look into your eyes. I'm afraid every look in my eyes is like a confession.

48. I won't let you cry again.

49. I have seen the Milky Way, but I still love you the most.

50. I want to refuel. I'm afraid I can't afford to keep you as a national treasure.