Some short jokes, be humorous! ! ! !

1. In high school, the whole school should wear school uniforms, and some repeat students never wear them. The teacher in charge of this field squats at the door every day to check. One day, the teacher saw that the classmate didn't wear a school uniform and asked him why he didn't wear it. This classmate was furious and said, my mother is not dead. Why should I wear mourning clothes? 2. An art teacher is very famous. A newspaper has a big report with photos, so he boasted in class: "Recently, some classmates always told me that you are really good. You have published photos in the newspaper ..." A student: "Looking for you?" From then on, the art teacher refused the student to take art classes. In Chinese class, the teacher called a sleepy classmate to answer the questions. This classmate is in a daze and can't speak. The teacher said helplessly, "Will you?" I won't scream either! Classmate: "Cheep." "The teacher is sweating. 4. The entrance examination is coming soon. One day in geography class, the teacher reported a place name on it. Let's answer the local minerals. After talking about many places, the teacher suddenly asked, "What is produced in Jiangnan?" The boys in the class said in unison: "Jiangnan has beautiful women! 5. In junior high school, a biology teacher once talked about the ecological environment on the African grassland, but when no one in the class listened, he became angry and said, "Look at me! How can you know what African wildcats look like if you don't look at me? "6. In an advanced mathematics class, the teacher asked my brother," Calculus is a very useful subject. What is the goal of our study of calculus? " The man deserted at that time, so he shouted without thinking: "No cavities!" " "The whole class burst into laughter. 7. In biology class, the teacher said, "In fact, weasels don't eat chickens. The scientists did an experiment. They once locked a chicken and a weasel together. Guess what the next day is? " The classmate chimed in: "Is the chicken pregnant?" 8. In senior three, the geometry teacher is an old lady who likes to brag and is particularly annoying. One day in class, he said, "I am highly valued by the Municipal Education Bureau. They always invite me to study the problem together, and I pick up the car every time. " I accidentally asked, "Three rounds?" As a result, I was banned from geometry class for a week. 9. In high school, my English teacher (a middle-aged woman in her fifties) thought that we boys wouldn't listen, so she cursed, "What are you thinking?" I was at a loss and said inexplicably, "I miss you!" " "There was a long silence in the classroom, but a pair of frightened eyes were looking at me. The teacher stayed for a while, then pointed at me and cursed: "you smelly rascal!" " "Illegal! 10. In high school, I had my first labor class. The teacher was an old man and introduced himself: "My name is Wu Shushan." I immediately had a brainwave and immediately replied: "Looking at Chang 'an in the northwest, there are countless mountains. "The whole class laughed, the teacher was livid, and then I was punished for heavy work.

Brainstorm:

The math teacher in your class cares about the students and works hard, but he has an obvious shortcoming, that is, he likes to dig at the students, which leads to the tension between teachers and students. As a monitor, you really want to give him advice. Think about it, how to make this suggestion?

Answer:

Since you say that he/she cares about students, it means that his/her starting point is not bad. After this is confirmed, you might as well give him/her a different way and make a humorous mockery of him/her when you get the chance. But be careful not to overdo it, and don't do it when there are outsiders, otherwise it will affect the class.

Famous saying:

It is upright and does not command; Although his body is not straight, he does not obey. -Confucius

Example is more important than language. —— Wang Fuzhi

Students should be eager to learn. Only a gentleman who never tires of learning can teach students who never tire of learning. -Tao Xingzhi

What students are required to do, teachers and staff do it themselves; What students are required to learn, teachers and staff are all learning by hand; Students are required to abide by the rules, and faculty members are required to abide by them in person. -Tao Xingzhi

People who are touched by words are not deeply impressed; Move people to the walkers. They should be quick. -Li Zhi

The only source of students' respect for teachers lies in their virtues and talents. -Einstein

Teachers' personality is everything to educators, and only a healthy mind can have healthy behavior. -ushinski

The teacher's personal demonstration is irreplaceable and the most useful sunshine for young people's hearts. -ushinski

As long as a teacher lies to his students once, all his educational achievements may be destroyed. -Rousseau

What kind of people should students be? Chernyshevski

The jokes of teachers and students are as follows:

Cross out the name.

One day in swimming class.

Teacher: Whoever doesn't get into the water, I'll cross his name off the list.

A student: I'm afraid my name will be crossed out of the household registration book.

The second answer.

In class, the teacher made a sentence for everyone to do. Requirements include religion, royalty, sex and mystery. A classmate was the first to answer correctly. His sentence is: my god, the queen is pregnant. Who did this?

I am an architect.

In composition class, the teacher's name is Xiaogang, who usually likes to make small moves and has poor classroom discipline. "What is your ideal? Tell everyone. " Xiaogang straightened his chest and replied, "I want to be an architect." The teacher asked with interest, "Why did you choose architecture?" Xiaogang pointed to the rectangular classroom and said, "If I become an architect, I will turn the classroom into a circle." "Why?" The teacher is puzzled. "You can't let me stand in the corner anymore."

African wild boar

The biology teacher is describing the appearance of African wild boar on the stage with great interest. Occasionally, he glanced at the audience and found that most of his classmates were dozing off, so he was annoyed and shouted, you have to look at me! How can I know what African wild boar looks like without looking?

BIG DAY

When I was at school, the Communist Youth League Secretary couldn't speak. When I joined the league, it was just me and another girl (the horrible kind).

When our Communist Youth League Secretary presided over the meeting, he said without hesitation, "Today is a big day for two students ..." The rest of the students laughed. After a semester, this guy presided over another student's joining ceremony and said, "Welcome XXX students to join our mysterious organization ..."