Joke Collection Website - Joke collection - Can a friend help me find the script of the scene where Xiao Guo and Wu Shuang are fighting to catch up with the scholar?
Can a friend help me find the script of the scene where Xiao Guo and Wu Shuang are fighting to catch up with the scholar?
Roof, night
The sky is vast and there are meteors passing by. Make a wish, Tong.
Tong Xiangyu: Close your eyes when you make a wish, otherwise it will be useless.
Zhu: Here comes the shopkeeper. ...
Tong Xiangyu: Sit down (lean over). I believed in this when I was a child. I even ran dozens of miles to the top of the mountain to see meteors.
Zhu: What did you wish for?
Tong Xiangyu: Marry a good man. This is a white promise. If I had known, why bother?
Zhu: I don't think so. Maybe there will be another chance?
Tong Xiangyu: Hehe, what did you wish for?
Zhu: It's no use if you say it.
Tong Xiangyu: I can guess without asking. This must have something to do with that scholar, right?
Zhu: I ... I really can't say.
Tong Xiangyu: Forget it. What did you think of the game?
Zhu: I promised her that I would compete with her.
Tong Xiangyu: Don't be forced. Xiao Guo is just cruel. Even if you don't promise, she won't do anything to us.
Zhu: I know, I don't agree with all of you to take part in the competition.
Tong Xiangyu: Then what are you doing?
Zhu: I want to give the scholar one last chance to see who is more suitable for him.
Tong Xiangyu: Does he want to see it clearly?
Zhu: Then even if I leave, I won't have any regrets.
Tong Xiangyu: It's not that serious. When I said I should keep one of the two, I didn't mean to drive anyone away. One is a handyman, and the other can do other things.
Zhu: Hehe, do you think the loser still has the face to stay here?
Tong Xiangyu: Well ... good luck to both of you.
hall
The lobby was decorated as a variety show scene, and thomas lee Liu Mo sat alone in the guest seat, with a famous brand at the table.
Two pieces of dry ice were sprayed out, and Bai Zhantang came out with a cucumber in his hand amid cheers.
Bai Zhantang: Hello, audience, and welcome to this program. I don't know, Jianghu is really wonderful. ...
One by one, sports scenes passed by the guests, and everyone blew kisses and waved, and so on.
Bai Zhantang: (gnawing at the cucumber) You are not as happy as me, and your satisfaction is not as good as mine. Audience friends, are you satisfied? (ears pricked up) I can't hear you. Speak louder, are you satisfied? ...
Everyone: Not satisfied!
Bai Zhantang: Let's go back and stay there. Ok, let me introduce the guests present first. First of all, this is amazing, everyone, the shopkeeper of Tongfu Inn!
Tong Xiangyu: Tongfu Inn, your dream luxury harbor (express delivery) This store will launch a big bargain at the end of the month, and you can enjoy a discount of 20% to 50% with VIP gold card. Please write to us for details. ...
Bai Zhantang: Next, to make matters worse, Mo Xiaobei, the head of Hengshan School!
Mo Xiaobei: My family belongs to Shaolin and my family belongs to wu-tang clan. Hengshan swordsmanship, which is practiced both inside and outside, is very powerful. It is an essential magic weapon for your home travel and looting. Please consult Hengshan Wushu School for registration. The specific address is Laoyakou, Hengshan, 30 miles north, 80 miles east and 260 miles north. ...
Bai Zhantang: Next, this is really (Cantonese). That's so sharp, Lv Qinghou, the Great Warrior of Guanzhong!
Lv Xiucai: Hmm ... Read more and read good books. This is a martial arts legend book, which records the grievances and enmities of Jianghu children for thousands of years. It is so exciting and colorful that people can't get sick without thinking about it. This book has not been published yet. Interested partners please come to our office for an interview.
Bai Zhantang: Next, this is outrageous. The only inheritor of Beijing cuisine ... Li Xiulian!
Li Dazui: Please call me Dazui. Li Dazui, male, 27 years old, unmarried, in good health, with a wedding room and no bad hobbies, sincerely looking forward to it. ...
Bai Zhantang: Next. ...
Li Dazui: Hey, I'm not finished yet!
Bai Zhantang: There is no time. Please welcome two contestants, ladies and gentlemen, Guo Furong, the invincible overlord. ...
Small fruit rushed out, freeze-frame, subtitles: Guo Furong, age secret; My favorite person: myself; Favorite thing to do: sleep; Most annoying: embroidered handkerchiefs; The biggest ideal: to be a real woman.
Bai Zhantang: Super dissatisfied with Zhu. ...
Wushuang rushes out, freezes, subtitles: Zhu, 22 years old; Favorite person: keep secret; Favorite thing to do: hate; The most annoying thing: losing the game; The biggest ideal: to win the game.
Bai Zhantang: Give her a round of applause ... Are you ready?
Guo: It's still early. Wait till I leave. /Wish: Keep this as a joke.
Bai Zhantang: OK, let me introduce the rules of the game. This game adopts the best of five games system. What we are going to do next is our first link (chorus) ...
On the trolley, there are two dirty pots with cleaning tools beside them.
Bai Zhantang: Whoever can clean the pot in the shortest time will win. ...
Two women rushed up to get busy.
Bai Zhantang: So, who is the real winner of this meeting? Is she hardworking, simple and practical? Or is she smart and speculative? I'll tell you after the commercial!
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In response, Li Dazui cooked, and in a hurry, smoke came out of the pot and blackened his mouth.
Li Dazui: Paste again? How to proceed with this work?
Tong Xiangyu: Are you still cooking in the wok? Tangmen non-stick pan should be changed (shown) long ago. The latest copper plating technology in Tangmen, Sichuan Province is adopted, which has large heating area, uniform heat transfer and rapid temperature rise. You can make delicious food with a little oil, and it is easy to clean and not easy to paste the pot. Now you can buy a set of hidden weapons made exclusively by Tangmen on a first-come-first-served basis while stocks last. All major hotels and weapons stores sell them. Welcome to inquire.
Li Dazui holds the pot: Tangmen never touches the pot, which is the second spring of my career.
hall
Bai Zhantang: Welcome to Qixia Town's costume variety show with the highest ratings. ...
Everyone said in unison: fuck, fuck, fuck!
Bai Zhantang: Hey? This is amazing. The two players cleaned the pot with lightning speed. Now let's see if it is kind or hardworking. Let the judges tell you! Ladies and gentlemen, welcome our four judges to enter (enter) and put the copper coins in your hands into the iron pot you think. Whoever has more pot money will win.
Everyone stepped forward, touched it, discussed it in a low voice, and released the money. Guo's pot is empty.
Guo Furong: Hello! Do you have eyes (flip the pot)? I even cleaned the bottom of the pot and hardened it with a grindstone!
Tong Xiangyu: If you lose, you lose here.
Li Dazui: It used to be a good pot. You can finish it, but it's bright, but it won't cook.
Guo Furong: Why can't I cook?
The big mouth knocked with a spoon and the pot broke.
Guo Furong: You ... you broke it. What does it have to do with me? It's a black whistle. I protest ...
Bai Zhantang: The protest is invalid. If you dare to roar in the stadium again, you will be disqualified from the competition ... the chairman of the jury will announce the result of the competition.
Tong Xiangyu: I declare that the champion of this year is ... Lu Wushuang.
Lu and others high-five: Yes. ...
Bai Zhantang: As the favourite and the only winner of this competition, please say something to the audience who care about you.
Lu Wushuang: Here, I want to thank my parents who raised me, as well as my audience friends who supported me. Without your support and encouragement, I ... (choking)
Guo Furong: Almost, this is the first game, and the game is not over yet!
Bai Zhantang: Ladies and gentlemen, let's start the second part of the competition (chorus): I wash, I wash, I wash. ...
There are two dirty clothes, a wooden basin and a washboard on the trolley.
Bai Zhantang: Whoever can finish washing clothes in the shortest time will win. ...
Two women rushed up to get busy.
Bai Zhantang: So, who is the real winner of this meeting? She's from heaven, but she's blessed with undeniable grace? Or does she, if she just turns her head and smiles, have a hundred spells? I'll tell you after the commercial!
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Tong dragged his tired body, saw the guests out, sat down at the door and rubbed his shoulders.
Seeing this, Beckham ran back to the backyard and poured the washing powder into the wooden basin. Subtitle: Mo Xiaobei, President of Hengshan School.
Tong walked into the yard, which was covered with clothes. Beckham wiped his sweat and smiled naively.
Mo Xiaobei: Sister-in-law, I can help you with your laundry.
Tong's eyes filled with tears, and he took Beckham into his arms.
Mo Xiaobei: Shendiao brand Gleditsia sinensis powder washes out a generation of good leaders!
hall
Bai Zhantang: Welcome to China's most watched clothing variety show. ...
Everyone said in unison: I wash, I wash, I wash!
Let's start the motion scene and follow the white lens all the way.
Bai Zhantang: Before announcing the results of the competition, shall we interview the contestants first? Are you confident of winning the game?
Guo Furong: Hum, as long as there is no black whistle, I can beat her with my eyes closed!
Bai Zhantang: Well said, this is an old saying, all talk and no practice. ...
Guo Furong: The host is a thief, and the legendary thief is him!
Bai Zhantang: Cut this passage, it's peerless, and say something to the audience who care about you.
Zhu: Forget it, let the result prove everything.
Bai Zhantang: OK, please welcome the judges.
Everyone went on stage, touched it, smelled it and was very surprised.
Tong Xiangyu: Wu Shuang, what is it washed with? Why is it so fragrant? ...
Guo Furong: What about incense? No better than cooking.
Tong Xiangyu: You don't understand this. Washing clothes is an art of life. Just being clean is not enough. Learn slowly.
Guo Furong: Hello! Obviously, whoever washes it clean will win.
Li Dazui: But others are also very clean.
Zhu: That's because I use the carved brand Gleditsia sinensis powder, which contains a unique strong decontamination formula. It has super decontamination power, and it won't hurt clothes or hands. It's really clean after washing ...
Guo Furong: I use sculpture, too?
Zhu: But you forgot one thing (display): Aloe and vanilla juice, which is my exclusive secret recipe.
Guo Furong: You, you ... You cheated! I protest, protest ...
Tong Xiangyu: The protest was dismissed. I declare that the winner of this competition is ... Zhu!
Lu and others high-five: Yes. ...
Bai Zhantang: You are incomparable. You successfully defended your title in this competition. Do you have any experience?
Lu Wushuang: I can't talk about experience. I just want to say that 99% efforts and 1% creativity are equal to 100% success. Thank you!
Bai Zhantang: Let's cheer for her ... This girl, what's it like to lose twice in a row?
Guo Furong: One word-cool!
Bai Zhantang: A word for you. You broke your tooth. Don't swallow!
Guo Furong: Why?
Bai Zhantang: There will be internal injuries. Oh, hahaha ...
Guo Furong: Hum, you just let them bully me?
Lv Xiucai: You are not as good as others. I'll try my best in the next game!
Bai Zhantang: OK, let's enter the third part of the competition (chorus). ...
One like you can't hold your arms, and Guo is ready to undress.
Bai Zhantang: What are you doing?
Guo Furong: Take off your clothes? I'm throwing caution to the wind I ...
Bai Zhantang: This mop means mopping the floor. In this competition, each person is responsible for half a room. Whoever cleans it up wins.
Guo Furong: Let's talk about it first. Are there any additional conditions this time?
Bai Zhantang: Of course ... No, get in position and get ready ............................................................................................................................................................
Two women are busy with mops.
Bai Zhantang: So, who is the real winner of this meeting? Is she defeated again and again, defeated? Or was she brave in Vietnam but never gave up? I'll tell you after the commercial!
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Guo mopped the floor and suddenly flashed to his waist, which hurt.
What happened to Zhu? Flash to the waist again?
Guo Furong: I'm getting old. It seems that if you don't accept it, it won't work.
Zhu: I am old and osteoporosis. My body reminds you of calcium deficiency. (Display) White Tuoshan Zhuanggu Powder, the exclusive secret recipe of Ouyang Feng in the Northern Song Dynasty, was specially developed for Wulin people.
Guo Furong: But I have quit the game!
Zhu: It's the same. As the saying goes, people are floating in the rivers and lakes. Who can avoid being stabbed? White camel mountain strong bone powder, oral and external use, has a miraculous effect. I got a knife, drew a pack, tried to get a second knife, shook my waist and ate a pack. You don't look old in your 200 s.
Zhu/Guo: white camel mountain Strong Bone Powder, Youth Powder, Friendship Powder. ...
Bai Zhantang: Huashan Lunjian is a designated nutritional product, which is available in Yiguang, a major pharmacy in this town. Please look for the anti-counterfeiting mark of black toad when buying.
hall
Bai Zhantang: Welcome to the world's most watched fashion variety show. ...
Everyone chorus: I pull, I pull, I pull!
Bai Zhantang: OK, now let's have a look. My left is the most clumsy in history, and on my right are two-time champion Zhu and her Garden of Dreams.
Zhu: Thanks to Taohuadao floor wax. ...
Guo Furong: Almost! It's not advertising time yet!
Bai Zhantang: From the photos, you may not know which floor is cleaner. Next, please welcome Yan Xiaoliu, a senior arresting officer who is famous for his sharp eyes, to tell us, ladies and gentlemen, who is the real winner. Welcome Mr. Yan Xiaoliu.
Xiao Liu appeared in the cheers, then fell to the ground and blinked.
Shu's picture, two circles, with Guo on the bottom, live bacteria on the left and sterile on the right.
Bai Zhantang: Ladies and gentlemen, the answer has been announced. I declare that the winner of this competition is …
Lv Xiucai: Wait, I want to say a few words before the announcement. This floor is for people to leave. Although it is clean and waxed, I dare say that no one can walk three steps on it. ...
Bai Zhantang: Who said that? Let me show you (slip). Not this time. I won't believe it if I don't take care (fall).
Lv Xiucai: Lao Bai's flying skill is so high that everyone falls like this. Where are the others? I'm afraid the medical expenses alone will kill you then.
One like you was livid, and they retreated aside to discuss.
Tong Xiangyu: After discussion by the jury, it was unanimously agreed that the winner of this competition was ... Guo Furong!
Small fruit and scholar high-five: yeah ~ ~
One like you with a snort of stuffy, flash to one side, the scholar secretly gave her a look, my heart is nervous.
Bai Zhantang: Well, now the score is two to one, and the unparalleled team is far ahead. Give her a round of applause.
Guo Furong: Hey, I won the game!
Bai Zhantang: Are you so proud of winning only one game? Look at you, you have achieved such brilliant results. What do people say? What do you mean, open up? What does it mean to have both ability and political integrity? Give her a round of applause.
Guo Furong: Hum, one day you won't be able to laugh!
Bai Zhantang: Let's enter the fourth section (chorus): I pull, I pull, I pull, I pull ... I am an expert in attracting customers. Whoever can pull the most guests in the shortest time will win. Take your positions and get ready … Amitabha music in Kang Sen!
Two women rushed out and began to get busy.
Bai Zhantang: So, who is the real winner of this meeting? She survived by luck? Or did she win pride and lose unyielding? I'll tell you after the commercial ...
After saying his word, the peel crumbs flew straight over.
Bai Zhantang: (Hiding) What are you doing? Want to rebel?
Everyone: the one-hour program, advertising has been broadcast for more than half an hour. Who are you kidding?
Bai Zhantang: Well, at the request of the audience, cancel the advertisement ... and change it to direct TV (W) direct broadcast! Is that all? Please welcome our reporter ... Mo Xiaobei!
Beckham answered and went out.
street
Motion shots with fuzzy black edges around them imitate candid shots.
Xiao Guo stopped Xiao Liu in the street: Stop, where are you going?
Yan Xiaoliu: Going home for dinner?
Guo Furong: Is there anything delicious at home? Just eat at my house. I'll give you a massage while you eat.
Yan Xiaoliu: Forget it. I am short of money recently. I'd better wait until I get paid.
Guo Furong: Forget it. You owe it first, and then pay it back when you have money later.
Yan Xiaoliu: I really don't need it. I have to save money to marry a wife!
Guo Furong: Yan Xiaoliu, do you want a promotion?
Yan Xiaoliu: Huh? What do you mean?
Guo Furong: If you are willing to have dinner at my house and bring some guests for me, I will pay all the meals.
Yan Xiaoliu: Really? What if you stood me up?
Guo Furong: Am I that kind of person? I'll give you an iou. Is it okay?
Yan Xiaoliu: That's settled. Go back to the house and wait. I'll help you find someone to (fly away).
Guo Furong: Look for more, the more the better!
Guo looked around, found the camera and covered his hand directly.
Guo Furong: What are you looking at? Go back to the house to do your homework (turn the camera) and come back (turn back). I dare not say anything about this. Can't eat candied haws in my life? (camera nods) Good boy!
hall
Bai Zhantang: Welcome to the most watched costume variety show in the universe. ...
Everyone said in unison: I pull, I pull, I pull, I pull. ...
Guo crossed his legs, knocked on melon seeds and helped the guests into the door.
Guo Furong: So long, only two?
Lv Xiucai: You didn't bring any!
Guo Furong: What's the hurry? The brigade arrived in the blink of an eye.
Bai Zhantang: That's not necessary. I declare that the game has officially entered the countdown (chorus). Ten, nine, eight, seven ...
Guo Furong: Wait, why should we cut it off now? Who stipulated it?
Tong Xiangyu: Guo, if you want to gamble, you have to give up. These are the rules of the game!
Guo Furong: What nonsense rules, you are too overbearing!
Tong Xiangyu: Yell at the stadium and be disqualified (W) OK, OK, I'll give you another chance.
Guo Furong: Yes ... The shopkeeper still loves me.
Tong Xiangyu: Listen carefully, you two, each for one minute, and explain the reasons for staying. Whoever speaks well will stay, who will come first?
Guo Furong: I, I, I ... Listen carefully. If I stay, I have a friend who eats Sugar-Coated Berry every day. A friend who can clap my hands for free (big mouth excited). A friend who can get six gold medals without penalty (Bai Daxi). A friend who can get to know four famous assassins (disdainful to children) will sever the father-daughter relationship with his father because of his fake marriage.
Zhu: Hehe, do I need to tell you?
Everybody: Go ahead, go ahead.
Zhu: Forget it, let's call it a day!
Guo Furong: Let's vote now. Those who support me, stand up!
Beckham and Zhang mouth stood beside Guo, Bai hesitated for a moment, stood beside one like you, and Tong stood up.
Guo Furong: Ahahahaha, thank you for your support, thank you!
Bai Zhantang: You haven't won yet. It's two to two now.
Guo Furong: Hehe, it seems that scholars will never stop until they reach the Yellow River! Scholar?
Lv Xiucai: Sorry ... I'd better stand here.
The scholar stood beside you, and Guo was dumbfounded. He subconsciously bit his hand, breathing pain, and was furious.
Guo Furong: Lv Xiucai, you have seed!
Guo ran back to the backyard and the scholar chased him out. Never hesitate to be ignorant, see white and pass.
Bai Zhantang: Don't look at me. I don't know what's going on.
courtyard
Guo rushed in, and the scholar chased him in and took his arm.
Lv Xiucai: Fu Mei, have you heard? ...
Guo Furong: Fang, get your hands wet!
Lv Xiucai: You lost the game, but you just lost face, but you are incomparable. If you lose, you have nothing.
Guo Furong: Don't give me that. Learn to fight and push?
Lv Xiucai: I'm serious. Poor thing, you are incomparable. Your parents are dead, and you are wandering around alone. You finally found a place to live. You've been fidgeting for two days, so you have to go again. How do you feel?
Guo Furong: I'm ... I'm a victim too! She did stay. What should I do?
Lv Xiucai: You can go home or go anywhere you want.
Guo Furong: What? You're going to give me an expulsion order?
Lv Xiucai: I mean, wherever you go, I will follow you. I will follow you all my life.
Guo: Brother Hou .../Lu: By. ...
Zhu: Hehe, I still lost.
Guo/Lu: peerless
Zhu: Last night, I made a wish on a meteor. I am willing to pay any price as long as I can win the game. As a result, I won, at the cost of losing this feeling that does not belong to me. Is this God's will?
Guo Furong: Don't be too sad. Friendship first, competition second.
Zhu: Hehe ... I wish you both a long life together, and I wish you a pleasant journey!
Guo Furong: Where are you going?
Zhu: The rivers and lakes are very big, and every place is home. What you lose here may be won back from other places. After so many places, didn't you choose to stay here?
Guo Furong: So ... will you come back later?
Zhu: Maybe, maybe not. Look at fate!
Lobby, evening
No one can go out without you, and everyone is reluctant to leave.
Zhu: Be good and listen to your sister-in-law.
Mo Xiaobei: I see. Remember to bring me something delicious.
Tong Xiangyu: Then why don't you cover it up?
Bai Zhantang: No, she just went out for a walk. Don't play around. Go early and come back early.
Zhu: Well, I'll bring it back to you as soon as I find Mr Right.
Tong Xiangyu: This money is your salary for these two months. Save some money.
Zhu: (surprised) So many?
Tong Xiangyu: If you do well, you will naturally gain a lot. Some people will never earn so much money in their lifetime.
Guo Furong: Well ... write often when you are free. I will miss you.
Zhu: Please give this package to the scholar.
Guo Furong: What's in it? I will give it to him. Don't worry.
Zhu: Take care, everyone. Let's ... see you later (turn around and go out).
On the roof, the cold wind blew, looking at the incomparable back, the scholar held his arms tightly.
In my mind, the picture with her flashed in an instant and ended silently.
Everyone went back to the house. Guo turned to close the door and knocked at the door.
Guo Furong: Who is it so late?
Yan Xiaoliu: It's me, Xiaoliu. According to your orders, all the brothers in ten villages and eight stores are here, more than eighty. Let's eat quickly!
Guo Furong: Huh?
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