I want funny jokes.

Copying homework is actually not called copying homework. Called philology, mathematical analogy, English copying, geographical migration, biological copying, physical frame of reference, chemical isomers, political seeking common ground while reserving differences, historical and cultural unity!

My deskmate fell asleep doing the paper, and put an earth-shattering fart in her sleep, which smelled extremely bad.

Everyone stopped looking at him at once, but he didn't mean to wake up.

Looking at the teacher's livid face on the platform, we all tried to hold back our laughter.

But at this time, the deskmate actually talked about talking in his sleep, only to hear him say, "It's delicious!" " "

"Leather factory closed down! The boss lost 300 million in eating, drinking, whoring and gambling, and ran away with mistress! XX, you are not human! Scum! Give me back my hard-earned money! You will come to no good end! There must be retribution ..... "When I was waiting for the bus last night, I heard this accusation repeatedly played across the street. Every word is bloody and clear, and I thought it was something ... until the last sentence, the key point came out: "The original 200 and 300 bags are now handled by 20!"

The company will hold an annual dinner. The chairman asked the new manager to speak before dinner and told him that there were two requirements for his speech: 1. Be a leader; 2. There must be a slogan of charge. The manager nodded in agreement. Before dinner that day, the manager came to the stage to speak, only to see that he raised his right hand high, then waved it hard and said, "Ready, let's eat!" " "

My husband went to eat today, so I'll call him. The dialogue is as follows. "Honey, what did you do?" "Well, nonsense, don't drink, call gentlemen! ! ""What's the matter with you? " "I'll go home! Don't worry! " "Wocao, what's wrong with you! Husband! " "Hang up! That's it, trouble! " . Then I rummaged through my cell phone. After a while, my husband sent me a text message. Wife, I pretended to go home and kneel and rub the washboard.

One day he will go swimming and ask me to go with him.

He said, "Go! Please go swimming! "

I said, "No!"

He said, "Why?"

I said, "The water is so dirty that they all pee in it."

He said, "Then let's pee in it!"

I said, "No."

Then he went by himself. Call me after playing for less than half an hour.

He said, "Give me that 300 yuan. I was caught peeing.

I said, "How can anyone arrest me?"

He said: "People pee in the water and I pee on the platform."

The next day, I had no face to sneak in again. Call me again in half an hour.

He said, "Give me that 300 yuan, and I'm caught peeing again.

I said, "I caught it again."

He said, "Don't mention it. I pee in the water. Yesterday, I was fined 300 yuan and was ignited. I have a yellow line when I pee! "

On the third day, I went again. Call me again in half an hour.

He said, "Give me that 300 yuan, and I'm caught peeing again.

I said, "I caught it again."

He said, "Don't mention it. I caught a cold yesterday and took a shit when I peed."

On the fourth day, I went again. Call me again in half an hour.

He said, "Give me that 300 yuan, and I'm caught peeing again.

I said, "I caught it again."

He said: "Don't mention it, I saw a super hot beauty today. What she brought out when she peed was actually a white sticky substance."

On the fifth day, I went again. Call me again in half an hour.

He said, "Give me 300 yuan.

I said, "I caught it again."

He said, "Forget it, I peed too much, and the whole pool overflowed."

Me: ...

On the sixth day, I went again. Call me again in half an hour.

He said, "Give me 300 yuan.

I said, "I caught it again."

He said, "Don't mention it. People are scared away when I come."

Me: ...

On the seventh day, I went again. Call me again in half an hour.

He said, "Give me 300 yuan.

I said, "I caught it again."

He said, "When I came, everyone in the swimming pool peed.

Me: ...

On the eighth day, I went again. Call me again in half an hour.

He said, "Give me 300 yuan.

I said, "I caught it again."

He said, "Don't mention it. When I came, the manager was scared to pee. "

Me: ...

On the ninth day, I went again. Call me again in half an hour.

He said, "Give me 300 yuan.

I said, "I caught it again."

He said, "Don't mention it. I can't pee. People won't let me go. "

Me: ...

On the tenth day, I went again. Call me again in half an hour.

He said, "Give me 300 yuan.

I said, "I caught it again."

He said, "Don't mention it, I haven't peed yet. If people see me again, they will be fined 300 yuan first. "

Me: ...