Ask a few English jokes to be short and original. Don't be too strange and complicated. Don't copy what you have. Welcome to the original.

The best joke in the world A couple of hunters from New Jersey were hunting in the forest, and one of them fell to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back. Another man took out his cell phone and called the emergency service center. Panting, he said to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do? " The operator said in a calm and soothing voice, "Relax. I can help. First, let's make sure that he is dead. " There was silence, and then a gunshot was heard. The man's voice came back. He said, "Well, what now?" Second place Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went camping. After a big dinner and a bottle of wine, they went to bed at night. A few hours later, Holmes woke up and nudged his faithful friend. Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see. "I see thousands of stars, Holmes," Watson replied. "What do you infer from this?" Watson thought for a minute. "Well, bullet.

Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, I observed Saturn in Leo.

According to horology, I infer that the time is about 3: 15.

Meteorologically speaking, I doubt that it will be fine tomorrow.

Theologically speaking, I can see that God is omnipotent and we are a negligible part of the universe.

But what does it tell you, Holmes? "

Holmes was silent for a moment.

"Watson, you idiot!" He said. "Someone stole our tent!" One day, a man and a friend were playing golf at the local golf course. One of them was about to hit the ball on the green when he saw a long funeral procession on the road next to the court. He stopped halfway, took off his golf cap, closed his eyes and bowed in prayer.

His friend said, "Wow, this is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are really a kind person. "

The man then replied, "Yes, we have been married for 35 years." When NASA first started sending astronauts into space, they soon found that ballpoint pens could not be used in zero gravity. In order to solve this problem, NASA scientists spent 10 years and1200 million dollars to develop a pen, which can write on almost any surface, including glass, in zero gravity, upside down and underwater, with the temperature ranging from MINUS to 300 degrees Celsius.

Russians use pencils. Australia's top joke The woman hurried to see the doctor and looked very anxious and nervous. She said hurriedly, "Doctor, look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror. I saw that my hair was all barbed wire and tired, my skin was all wrinkled and pale, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse that looked like my face! What's wrong with me, doctor! ? "

The doctor examined her for a few minutes, and then said calmly, "Well, I can tell you that there is nothing wrong with your eyesight …" A woman got on a bus with her child. The bus driver said, "This is the ugliest baby I have ever seen. Hey! " The woman angrily walked to the back of the bus and sat down. She said to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man said, "You just go up and tell him-go ahead and I'll hold your monkey for you." Two men are sitting on a stool in a bar. One side began to insult the other. He screamed, "I slept with your mother!" " The bar became quiet, and everyone was listening to see what the other weasel would do. The first one shouted, "I slept with your mother!" " The other said, "Go home, Dad, you are drunk." Walesa's Top Joke A tortoise was walking in an alley in new york when it was suddenly attacked by a group of snails. A detective came to investigate and asked the tortoise if he could explain what happened. The tortoise looked puzzled at the detective and replied, "I don't know, it all happened so fast." A doctor said to his patient, "I have bad news and worse news." "Oh, honey, what's the bad news?" The patient asked. The doctor replied, "You only have 24 hours to live." "It's terrible," said the patient. "How could the news be worse?" The doctor replied, "I have been trying to contact you since yesterday." Why do ducks have webbed feet?

Put out the fire.

Why is the elephant's foot flat?

A general noticed that one of his soldiers was acting strangely. The soldier will pick up any piece of paper he finds, frown and say, "Not this one", and then put it down. This situation lasted for some time until the general arranged a psychological test for the soldiers. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was insane and dismissed him from the army. The soldier picked it up and said with a smile, "That's it." Two of the best hunters in the world were hunting in the forest when suddenly one of them fainted. Not breathing. Another man hurriedly took out his hand and dialed 9 1 1.

"My friend is dead. What should I do? " He shouted nervously.

The operator said, "Don't be so nervous, I can help you. First, make sure he is really dead. " There was silence for a while, and then there was a gunshot. He called back and said, "Well, then what?" Holmes, the second in the world, and Dr. Watson are camping. After supper and a bottle of wine, they lay down and fell asleep.

A few hours later, Holmes woke up and woke up his most loyal friend. "Watson, look at the sky and tell me what you can see."

"I can see tens of millions of stars, Foer," Watson replied.

"What can you infer from it next?"

Watson thought for a moment. "Well, let me explain one by one-

According to astronomy, there may be millions of galaxies and billions of hidden planets.

From an astrological point of view, I observed Saturn in Leo.

Judging from the clock, I guess it's about a quarter past three.

As far as meteorology is concerned, I think it will be clear in Wan Li tomorrow.

Theologically, I can deeply feel the power of God and our insignificance, just like floating between heaven and earth, a drop in the ocean. "

"So what can you infer, Foer?"

Foer was silent for a moment.

"Watson, you are such an idiot!" He said. "Some jerk stole our tent!" One day, a man and his friends were playing on the local golf course. When he was about to cut the ball, he saw a long funeral procession coming along the road. Halfway up his hand, he immediately stopped, took off his golf cap, closed his eyes, bowed deeply and prayed silently.

His friend looked at it and said, "Wow, this is the most considerate and touching thing I have ever seen. You are really a kind person. "

The man went on to say, "Yes, we have been married for 35 years anyway." When NASA sent astronauts into space for the first time in Canada, they soon found that ballpoint pens could not work in zero gravity. In order to solve this problem, NASA spent 10 years and1200 million dollars to develop a pen that can write in zero gravity, inverted, underwater and almost all surfaces including glass, and adapt to the temperature range of 0 degrees Celsius to 300 degrees Celsius. Russians joke about pencil lead in Australia. An Australian woman hurried to find her doctor, looking very anxious and in a trance. She said nervously, "Doctor, look at me. When I got up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was like rusty wire, my skin was pale and wrinkled, my eyes were bloodshot, and insects fell out. This is the dead worm found on my face! What's wrong with me, doctor! ? "

The doctor picked up the dead bug and examined her for a few minutes. Then he said calmly, "Fortunately, I can only tell you that there is nothing wrong with your eyes …" A British woman got on the bus with her child in her arms. The driver said, "that's the ugliest child I've ever seen, huh!" " "The woman angrily walked to the back of the bus and sat down. She complained to a man beside her: "The driver was insulting me just now!" The man said, "Go straight over and tell him to shut up. You go, monkey. I'll keep it for you. Two men are sitting in a bar. One of them started insulting the other. He roared, "I slept with your mother!" " "There was a sudden silence in the bar, and everyone wanted to hear how the man would fight back. He roared again: "I slept with your mother! Another man said, "You are drunk, Dad, let's go home!"! A tortoise in new york, Wales was robbed by a group of snails while swimming in the lake. The detective came to investigate. He asked the tortoise to describe the situation at that time. The tortoise looked at the detective with a puzzled face and replied, "I don't know anything." It happened so fast. " The top joke doctor in Northern Ireland said to the patient, "I have bad news and worse news." "Oh, my God! What's the bad news? " The patient asked. The doctor replied, "You can only live for no more than 24 hours." "It's terrible," said the patient. "What could be worse?" The doctor said, "I have been trying to contact you since yesterday." Why do all Belgian ducks have webbed feet?

Can put out the fire.

Why are elephants flat-footed?

A German general noticed one of his soldiers. The soldier will pick up any piece of paper he finds, then say "not this one" discontentedly, and then throw it on the ground to look for it again. He did this for some time until the general arranged for the soldiers to have a psychological test.

After that, the psychologist concluded that the soldier was crazy. So I gave him a retirement form.

The soldier picked it up and said with a smile, "Here you are."