The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is an eternal topic

The eternal topic of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

The eternal topic of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, in fact, exists in many families. After all, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law must have many different ideas after not living together for the first two or three decades. If the husband and wife divorce because of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, who will suffer more? How much do you know about the eternal contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law The eternal topic of contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law 1

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is an eternal topic, and the contradiction between them occurs all the time. Why? No matter how rigid the relationship is, grandma is still a grandmother and will always be good to her grandchildren, and no one can change it!

Why does the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law always happen?

A mother left me messages for several days, full of anger and depression. She said that her mother-in-law always aimed at her, and seemed to look at her everywhere, even though her grandson was 5 years old. Especially recently, when she heard from her husband some details that she didn't know when she first went to her in-laws' house, she was even more hurt: < P > That day, she went to their house with a group of colleagues. Her husband now was very excited and quietly went into the kitchen to surprise his mother and said, "Mom, I brought my girlfriend. Guess which one?"

The old mother didn't look up: "Is it the girl with the ponytail?"

The son was surprised: "Mom, how do you know?"

I didn't expect my old mother to say, "No wonder I hated her at first sight ..."

It's hard for me to understand why this husband told his wife about this experience. Maybe this is the life of daily necessities.

I remember a long time ago, when I was still in college, a retired old professor who lived on campus wiped her tears in front of the door. After careful understanding, she realized that her son and daughter-in-law had gone to live abroad and left her alone in China. I think I can't comfort her, just be a loyal listener. Finally, the old man said to me, "Do you know how I felt when my son brought his wife home for the first time? I have raised my son for more than 28 years, and he was kidnapped by a woman who he only knew for one year. Sad, jealous ... What feeling! Then my smelly boy listens to her daughter-in-law, shows no respect for me, and always tells me to shut up. I feel that I have made the most loss-making business in my life ... "I said and cried.

At that time, I was thinking, what should I do if I am a daughter-in-law and a mother-in-law one day?

The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a phenomenon that "other people have it".

The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law seems to be everywhere. It seems that the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law exists everywhere from when I was sensible, to when my head teacher's mother-in-law came to class to curse the street, and when I was on the way to school in middle school, I saw a white-haired old man crying and rolling on the ground because of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. In most families, among the eight ancestral relationships, such as father and daughter, mother and daughter, mother-in-law and mother-in-law, the satisfaction of mother-in-law relationship is the bottom. Contradictions or tensions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are common in most families.

So, don't think that the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law only happens in your family. Without the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is rare and worth cherishing.

genes and heredity

genes will give human beings a natural instinct, which is to give selfless love to their children for the sake of gene continuation. Therefore, compared with other people's children, parents will be more tolerant of their children by blood. In addition, compared with the daughter-in-law who is not related by blood, the mother-in-law has more and longer emotional interaction with her children than the daughter-in-law from pregnancy, childbirth, breast-feeding ... until the child is brought up, which is a very strong emotional bond. And the daughter-in-law? Because of their sons, they have no emotional foundation with their mother-in-law. They not only encounter conflicts in general interpersonal communication, but also face conflicts among complex family members such as "daughter-in-law", "wife", "younger generation" and "new hostess", just like building a tower on a soft foundation. Of course, there are also some daughter-in-law and mother-in-law families around us.

There is an old man in my neighbor's house who often tells his neighbors that "my daughter-in-law is lazy and lets my son do everything ..." She talks about her daughter, and she says, "My son-in-law loves her very much and won't let her do anything ..." What a profound interpretation of "biological" and "not biological"!

I also have a neighbor. The old lady is always smiling, and often competes with her daughter-in-law for housework. Even if she is sick, she can't stop. Her mantra is: "It's good for an old woman to exercise more!" Her daughter-in-law is also very filial. This is the "mirror effect" of interpersonal communication.

Confucius, an old philosopher, has put forward "equal love" in distant ancient times. Family is based on the love of blood relatives, and the love for parents and brothers is different from the love for passers-by and others. This is human nature. But he also put forward "the benevolent loves others" and put himself in others' shoes. Therefore, when we get along with the old people, we can put ourselves in their perspective, or imagine across time and space what we would do if we were mother-in-law and mother-in-law in similar situations ... If we think about it this way, we can easily find the answer.

Even if the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are in conflict, grandma is still a good helper

Evolutionary psychologists believe that nature makes healthy grandmothers amenorrhea, which is to let them look after their grandchildren. Babies taken care of by grandma have only half the risk of injury as those in nurseries or other relatives. Many of us mention "step-by-step relatives". In many families, sometimes the elderly treat their grandchildren more intimately than their sons and daughters. This is probably because the sons and daughters have grown up, and only the little ones around them are the greatest source of happiness. We also have many families. The relationship between grandchildren and grandparents is closer than that with parents. This is probably because the old people are giving their love wholeheartedly. Although sometimes love is out of proportion, the love between grandparents and grandchildren is often called the most sincere and pure.

Therefore, it is normal to have the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, which is caused by genes. We should cherish it doubly if there is no contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. "Respect" is always the most correct way for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Young mothers need to learn to be grateful for small details, and the small life will become less difficult than you think! The eternal topic of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law 2

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has long been very unsolvable in the family. At that time, when there was a contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, everyone had to endure it and did not expect a stronger way to solve the problem between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. If the communication between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law was not good, it would definitely endanger the happiness of married life. So, what can a wife do to easily solve the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?

How to easily solve the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?

First of all, learn to praise well. There is no doubt about my wife's efforts.

Language is the easiest way to express one's mind, and it is also the easiest way to hurt the other side. Although Chen Yan works hard, she is often unreasonable in front of her parents.

Learning to praise well can not only find the advantages in the hands of the housewife, but also please her heart. Immediately, there is no doubt that my wife's efforts, sometimes in areas where my wife is not doing well, can also be encouraged to do better according to the method of praise.

Secondly, we should pay attention to the life style of housewives' characters.

A housewife and a wife both bear different roles and responsibilities in their marriage, so they must understand each other and attach importance to each other. Chen Yan feels that her mother-in-law doesn't know her, and she doesn't want to know her, so the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will get worse.

Thirdly, learn to let the husband mediate between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Husband plays a key role in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. In the past, after Chen Yan and her mother-in-law made suggestions, her husband kept asking her to put up with it. In fact, the husband's mentality determines the housewife's attitude towards his wife.

Therefore, when women can't solve the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, they can beg their husbands to solve the contradiction immediately. The higher the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the more stable the marriage life will be.

In the end, giving some gifts won the favor of my parents.

I think giving a gift to my wife is a whole process of analyzing her hobbies. The more a woman grasps her housewife's hobbies, the more she can easily win her heart.

change people's hearts, and be more sincere. All these feelings must be based on sincerity, and this is true between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Have different suggestions and be honest with each other; Have a different point of view, can laugh and talk.

With the humility of the other side, I feel that the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has not been truly handled, but it will also lead to the accumulation of differences. Only by confided in each other can the suspicion and friction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law be reduced.

Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law must operate with each other, and it's not good without either of them. Therefore, we must continue to guide correctly, our husband must actively mediate between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and we must continue to work hard to love and pay attention, because distance knows horsepower.

Women and men in marriage, please don't ignore the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Running a good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is equivalent to running a marriage. Compared with the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, why not operate the feelings between husband and wife first? Because the more a husband loves his wife, the more harmonious the relationship between husband and wife, and the more harmonious the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will be.