Ask a two-minute joke

On a dark and windy night! There is a beautiful lady walking alone at night! Suddenly, the lady found a man following her! No, grab the color! Danger! This is the lady's first reaction! What to do! Then the beautiful lady passed a dark road! This lady's heart is beating! The gloomy atmosphere makes this lady even more terrible! Suddenly, the lady found a woman on the roadside.

The grave, and then the lady had an idea! Say to the grave, "Dad, I'm back, please open the door!" " "The people who followed heard their hearts fall from a height, so they shouted in horror:" Ah! "Then he turned and ran away! The man now has an idea: "leave this woman and this place quickly." "Seeing this man go, this beautiful lady breathed a sigh of relief! Suddenly I heard an old voice and remembered, "Daughter, I forgot my key again. "This lady almost fainted! Fear made her turn around and run! Leave a scream louder than that man just now! After a while, the screams faded away! This is the grave, and there is a voice: "Shit, psycho won't even let him steal a grave. "Then grave robbers continue his glorious grave-robbing work! The grave robbers dug and found nothing valuable, and left disappointed. At this time, he found that the grave was shaking, and a black hand was stretched out where it suddenly shook. At this time, grave robbers may be scared to pee. In this gloomy atmosphere, there is only one voice: "Ah, ghosts, ghosts" echoing in the air! After the voice calmed down, a beggar stood up in a trembling place! The whole body is foggy and black! A voice said, "Shit, I'm eating mud! I scared the hell out of you. "

The doctor in the mental hospital wants to talk to a mental patient who is about to leave the hospital to confirm whether the patient has fully recovered.

Get well.

Doctor: What are you going to do after you leave the hospital?

Patient: smash all the windows in your hospital with stones.

When the doctor heard about it, he found that the patient had not fully recovered, so he decided to continue the treatment. A few months later, the doctor

I think the patient seems ready to leave the hospital, so I decided to talk to him again.

Doctor: What are you going to do after you leave the hospital?

Patient: Get a job.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Making money.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Save money.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Marry a wife.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: The bridal chamber.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Take off her clothes.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Take off her pants.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Take off her underwear.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Take out the rubber band on your underwear, make a slingshot, and find some stones to beat all the windows in your hospital.

Rotten.

One day, a man was sitting in a bar, staring blankly at his drink. At this moment, a truck driver came over and drank his drink upside down.

The man burst into tears. The truck driver quickly said, "What's the big deal? I'll buy you a drink later. "

The man sobbed and said, "No, today is my worst day." This morning, my alarm clock was broken and I was late for work. My boss flew into a rage and fired me. Just as I was about to go home, I found my car stolen, and the police said there was nothing they could do. So I took a taxi home. When I got home, I left my wallet in the taxi and the driver drove away. When I got home, I found that my wife was having an affair with the gardener, so I came here to try to commit suicide. At this time, you appeared and drank all my poison. "

There is a lady who wants to ask for marriage online. His marriage is very demanding. So she searched the website "handsome with a car" and gave the answer:' chess (is it handsome with a car? If this lady doesn't give up, she is laying the foundation: "Be calm and feel safe". Search the website and give the answer: "Altman (cool, safe! The lady is still lying down: "If you want a house, you need money. "Search the website and give the answer:' Bank (with room and money! The lady didn't believe that she couldn't find a man, so she entered all the previous conditions into the website search: "Be handsome, want a car, be cool, feel safe, have a house and be rich." The website searched for a while and finally gave the answer: "Altman plays chess in the bank!" " The lady fainted after reading it!