Jokes and stories to tell my wife

A collection of jokes and stories to tell your wife

People who can tell jokes are people with a sense of humor. People with a sense of humor are much less likely to suffer from depression. , let’s take a look at the collection of jokes and stories to tell your wife and see your humor index!

A joke story for my wife 1

A surprise for my wife

Xiaoji and Yishan are a newlywed couple. Although they are burdened with mortgage and car expenses, Yes, life is tight, but romance and sentiment are still important. On the first Valentine's Day after marriage, Xiaoji gave Yishan a surprise.

That night, when Yishan returned home, Xiaoji had already cooked a table of delicious food. After dinner, Xiao Ji said mysteriously: "Honey, I used to give you flowers every Valentine's Day, and today is no exception!" After saying that, he magically held out a plate with more than a dozen flowers on it. The flowers look crystal clear and extraordinarily beautiful under the light.

Xiaoji said: "This is an orange flower. How about it? Is it romantic enough?" Yishan picked up one, looked at it carefully, and laughed happily. It turns out that the so-called orange blossom is an orange that is torn open and turned over. At first glance, it really looks like a blooming flower.

Xiaoji smiled and said: "Very creative, isn't it?"

Yishan said: "Husband is awesome! These flowers are cheap and good-quality, and you can eat them after seeing them. It's so real. Yes! I want it again next time!”

A few days later, Yishan’s birthday came again. When Yishan returned home, she saw Xiao Ji waiting for her with a smile. She knew it well and asked: "What's the matter? Do you have anything good to give me?"

Xiao Ji said: "I will give you flowers today! But they are not orange flowers. !”

Yishan couldn’t guess: “Morning glory? Cauliflower? Could it be green onion?”

After hearing this, Xiao Ji took out a bowl and said : "Look, it's cheaper this time." Yishan looked at it and was happy. It turned out to be a bowl of tofu curd.

After eating the sweet tofu pudding, Yishan snuggled into Xiaoji’s arms and asked: “Husband, will you be so considerate in the future and give me special flowers?”

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Xiaoji smiled: "I have thought about it. In the future, if I really don't have any ideas, I will take you to the man-made lake in the park."

Yishan was surprised: "What are you doing there? "Go?"

"Throwing stones will cause splashes!" Joke story 2 for my wife

1. A group of people in the dormitory were talking about it: Let's compete with each other in the future. Wife is the best. A: I will pay all my salary and bonus from now on. B: All my housework is taken care of. C: In order to prevent my wife from suffering in the future, I decided to have children with someone else.

2. My husband is going on a business trip for half a year, so my good wife packs her bags and spends the time together. After that, she affectionately handed her husband a pack of condoms and said: If you really can’t bear it outside, remember to wear condoms. After hearing this, my husband said excitedly: If our family is not well off, we should use theirs.

3. My daughter-in-law has two choices for her recent job. One is leisure and low salary, and the other is competition and difficulty, but high salary. She consulted me in confusion, and I chose After thinking about the motto about wealth and wealth in danger, he cleared his throat and said to her: German proverb says that the meat close to the bones is the most delicious. Do you understand what I mean? After hearing this, she said with joy: Oh, I haven't eaten soy-based backbone for a long time. Can I buy it tomorrow?

4. If the couple is rich, the daughter-in-law drives a car worth 2 million yuan and the husband pays 200,000 yuan. The wife wears a 1 million watch and the husband wears a 100,000 yuan watch. The daughter-in-law wears a 200,000 yuan watch. It is enough for the husband to wear the gold bracelet from Laomiao, but he does not need to carry a bag for his wife to carry a 100,000 yuan bag. To sum up, a daughter-in-law should be well-equipped and well-off, so that men would not dare to look her in the eyes. A husband should have a sporty, low-standard, and poor family, so as not to attract wild butterflies to cheat money and sex.

5. After I have a partner, sometimes he helps me squeeze out the toothpaste when I brush my teeth in the morning, which is very happy. Then I found it was gone and asked her. She said that several times she squeezed too much and dropped it on the wash basin. She was reluctant to throw it away and started to scratch it again...

6. Wife: Husband, do you think I am beautiful? Husband: Uh... Wife: If you feel beautiful, you can praise her for being pretty; if she doesn't feel pretty, you can praise her for her temperament; if she doesn't have temperament, she should at least praise her for being cute! Husband: You are very kind.

Jokes and Stories to Tell My Wife 3

The Smart Chief

A certain chief has a hobby of listening to stories. One day, he held a banquet for guests. After his repeated requests, a guest from out of town told a very interesting story:

This guest had met a very pretentious man in the city. The guest said to him: "Please Guess what I have in my pocket. If you guess correctly, I will give you half of these eggs; if you can guess the number of eggs, I will give you all ten eggs."

The man thought for a long time and said: "Friend, although I am not stupid, I can't know everything. I can't guess."

The guest said: "Guess again , this thing is white on the outside and yellow on the inside."

"Guess it!" the man said loudly, "it must be a pile of white radishes with a potato hidden in the middle."

Hearing this, the guests all laughed, and the chief laughed even more. Finally he asked:

"That's really a fool. Dear friend, please tell us now, what exactly are you putting in your pocket?" Joke stories for my wife 4

Valuable items

The father held his five-year-old son on his lap and watched the basketball game with concentration. When the child saw the athletes fighting for the ball in a revolutionary way, he asked: "Dad, basketball must be very expensive, right?" The father said in surprise: "My dear, why do you think so?" The child said: "If it is not expensive, , Why do they not know the difference between high and low?

Kennedy got together to gamble and lost miserably. He thought for a moment and said to himself: "Okay, I will give the most precious thing. Put something on. ”

Gamblers quickly asked: “What good thing?” Take it out and see!

Kennedy became worried and shouted loudly: "I'm putting my life on the line!" "

All the gamblers burst into laughter: "How much is your life worth? We would have died a long time ago! ”

Time flies

When the pension system was implemented before World War I, there was an old fisherman named Dai Lewis who was over seventy years old and fully qualified to receive a pension. Jin, however, could not produce a birth certificate to prove this. One day, a local official came to visit him.

The following is their conversation: "Where were you born, Dai? “County Cork. ”

“Don’t you remember when you were born? "I don't remember." That was a long time ago. "

"When did you leave Ireland? “I left home at the age of thirteen and went to a farm in northern Scotland, where I lived for nineteen years. Later, he worked as a guide for a fisherman in southern Scotland for twenty-five years. After this I worked as a gamekeeper for seventeen years and then moved here. "How long have you lived here, Dai?" He shouted to his wife who was cooking in the kitchen: "How long have we been married, Mary?" Thirty-four years?

The official put down his pen and said, "Based on what you just talked about, you should be one hundred and eight years old." "God, time flies so fast!" " ;