Have you ever seen a joke made by a stutterer?

This is a real thing that happened in our office car class, not a fiction.

There is a driver surnamed Sun in the car class of my unit. He is honest, diligent and hardworking. No matter how long he works overtime, he never complains, but one thing: he stutters. Some people know that he stutters, and sometimes they tease him on purpose. Whenever this happens, he always smiles and lowers his head.

Once at work in the morning, he came late and delayed the leader's car. The leader went to busy business in the car of other leaders. The leader came back from the office and asked him why he was late. He said something happened at home this morning, so he was late.

The leader asked him what was going on. He said, "I bought some bean juice this morning and asked his wife to cook it on the stove." When he was washing, he heard the jam of bean juice, so he said to his wife, "The jam of bean juice ..." He meant to tell her, "The jam of bean juice, let her have a look. "

However, the more anxious he is, the more he can't say it. Finally, he had to sing: "The bean juice is blocked." For this reason, he had a quarrel with his wife, so he came to work very late in the morning.

On another occasion, he directed others to reverse the car. He said three times in a row: "get down ... down ... and the car hit someone else's car." At this time, he took the second half sentence "I can't get there! "Say it.

There is a man in the village who stutters when he is in a hurry. Every time you talk to someone, your mouth hisses first.

People of his age in the village nicknamed him "Yewaisis"

When I was a child, my mother was cooking the following article at noon one day.

Sharp-eyed, he suddenly found a green grasshopper jumping on the lid and into the boiling water pot.

He quickly shouted: "Hey! Hey! Is it? Hissing flat, flat flat, flat flat ... "

His mother didn't know what was going on, so he left it alone and covered the pot.

He was so anxious that he pointed to the pot and said, "grasshopper with a flat stomach!" "

When his mother opened the lid, she saw that the grasshopper had been burned to death.

When this is said, people in the village often laugh at it.

Once again, he went to the market with several people in the village.

At noon that day, it was very hot, and someone was selling watermelons under an umbrella in the street. At that time, watermelons were sold by the block.

He had just passed a melon stall when the melon seller saw him coming and shouted:

"Sweet watermelon, rock sugar, eat or not?"

He looked at the watermelon seller and said! "Eat, eat ..."

The melon seller picked up a knife, cut the watermelon in half and said, "I can't afford it!" " "

The melon seller stuttered with anger!

That year, the production team evaluated the work score at the end of the year, and the captain announced that whoever recited more "quotations" this year would have advanced ideas and could evaluate the work score high.

Hearing this, the man rushed home, eager to teach his wife "quotations". His wife looked at him anxiously and wanted Doby to play with him, so she said it would work!

This guy started teaching:

"Make up your mind!"

While rocking the spinning wheel, the old lady read: "Why make up your mind!" "

Stuttering anxiously: "Yes, you don't care if I pee a few times. You, you, you can only get off!" " "

Seeing him in such a hurry, the old woman couldn't help laughing to tears.

Although this man stutters, he can sing Qin opera word for word, and he doesn't stutter at all!

Do you think this is strange?

There are some stutterers in the countryside, such as Aaron in the team. Aaron has always been handsome and cheerful, but he stutters. The more anxious he is, the more he stutters.

A year ago, the fishing net of the production team caught a chubby fish weighing more than ten kilograms. Everyone is watching, and so is Allen. One member smiled and said to Aaron, Aaron, if you don't stammer out the word chubby head, this fish is yours.

Aaron said: this ... this fish belongs to the whole team, and you ... you can't decide.

When he said this, many people laughed and booed: as long as you make it clear, I will give you this fish!

Aaron said: Really ... Really ... Do you keep your word?

Everyone smiled and said: Calculate!

So aaron became fat in his heart ... for a long time, and finally he simply said: fat head. Say that finish, I mentioned the fish and ran away. Everyone looked at each other and shook their heads with a helpless smile.

Aaron is a soldier and drives a car in the army. After he retired from the army, it happened that the commune bought a JAC car and Aaron became the driver of the commune. Later, when the commune wanted to add cars, Aaron brought an apprentice. At that time, there was no driving school or coach car, and they all went to school by ordinary car.

One day, Aaron's apprentice was driving and Aaron was sitting in the co-pilot. Because there was a cow on the road ahead, the car in front stepped on the brakes. Aaron said to his apprentice, "Come on ... I finally said it after chasing my tail.

More than 20 years ago, there was a typhoon one year, and our county was seriously affected, especially in coastal areas, where houses collapsed and aquaculture farmers suffered serious losses. The county investigates and evaluates the losses of each township and registers them one by one. As our village is the typhoon center and the hardest hit area, the county government decided to lead a team of civil affairs bureau directors to inspect it on the spot. The director of civil affairs and his party visited the houses and farms destroyed by the typhoon, and finally the village head made a report. The village chief usually stutters. When he saw the "big official" in the county talking, he was particularly nervous, his tongue became stiff, his teeth clenched tightly and his mouth trembled. What's more, I stutter in key sentences and critical moments. The result of this stuttering is that people don't know where funny sentences are and where periods are. The meaning of the whole sentence has changed: "... we ... have ... five ... big fish ponds ... seawater ... rushing in ... fish ... dying ... many people ... are ... now ... now. It happened that the director of civil affairs stuttered, thinking that the village chief was imitating him on purpose, and said that everyone was dead. Then there was no report at the time. When the village chief finished reporting, he flew into a rage: "How ... died ... after all, there were more ... fewer people, and the matter was so big. This is not my civil affairs bureau's business ... There is a way to solve it. You can go to the deputy county magistrate Lin ... Hui. Say that finish, the director of the Civil Affairs Bureau patted his ass and left without looking back.

When the director of civil affairs returned to the county, he was so angry that he reported to Lin, the deputy magistrate in charge: "He ... He X, I went to the countryside to inspect the disaster situation. When the village head of a town reported, he actually ... learned to stutter like me ... Who doesn't know that I ... stutter, which is too ... outrageous ... "

The next day, the village head rushed to the county seat and found Lin, the deputy county magistrate. Only then did he know that two stuttering people had met. A county magistrate is a county magistrate. People comfort the village chief, make tea and pass cigarettes. Let him speak slowly and things will be clear. He called the director of civil affairs, and a misunderstanding was eliminated, and the disaster relief fund was immediately implemented.

Life is to smile at others, but also to smile at yourself for others, so don't be tired. Lazy cats don't mean to make fun of people's language barriers, nor do they mean to despise stuttering. I hope friends don't "go online" and play the role of leverage, but should tell jokes and stories!

The lazy cat has seen the joke played by two stuttering men.

First of all:

There is a stutterer who visits relatives' houses.

His mother was drying millet in the cement building, and they saw each other from a distance. A man walked to his mother's house with a piece of pork in his hand and called to her, "Dear, dear, dear …" He said a lot, but he couldn't name the word "dear mother".

His mother knows that he stutters badly, and he is calling his mother. They were all worried about him and shouted upstairs, "Stop kissing and come straight into the house!" " "

Second:

A stutterer became the mayor of a town. One day, a forest fire broke out in a place in the town. The leaders in charge of the county directly called him and asked him, "Are you in town?"

The man replied, "I am!" "

The county leader said, "Do it now." Then I hung up the phone directly and asked the driver to go straight to town to guide the fire fighting work.

In the town, the county leaders went straight to the mayor's office. When there was no one in the office, the leader was unhappy and called the mayor again: "Didn't you say you were in town?" Why is nobody here? "

The mayor said, "I'm on my way back to town."

In the 1970s, my unit had a Jiefang brand five-ton truck, and the driver's master took an apprentice, which was tongue-tied. One day, I went to the countryside to deliver goods. I ran for two or three hours in the afternoon to get to my destination. It's getting dark, and the driver's master and his apprentice are in a hurry to get here. He turned the car around and was ready to go, so he let his apprentice get off and look behind. I didn't expect that there were many rural areas, and the roads near Lingling were not forced to reverse. The apprentice ordered the car to reverse. This is a stuttering and shouting owner, but ... I couldn't help it anymore, so I suddenly poured the rear wheel of the car into Ling. After the master braked and got off the bus, he slapped and kicked one of his disciples, saying that he fell on Ling and shouted. The disciple answered with a sad face. I just said, "No, no, no, no, you can reverse the car." Later, when I arrived at work, the driver told everyone about it. After that, employees called him backup when they met, which became a nickname.

Unit leaders stutter at ordinary times, but they don't stutter when reading reports, which doesn't affect being leaders. It is inevitable that leaders will have more entertainment and drink.

As soon as he gets drunk, we'll send him home. When his wife saw that he was drunk, she was worried that he would be ill after drinking too much, and she kept scolding him.

When the leader saw us here, he felt that the old woman was unreasonable and didn't give him face. Knowing that he is drunk, he still blames him regardless and understands him at all. He retorted, "You, you, you, you, this, this, this person, like this, like this, like this, like this, like this, like this, like this, like this, like this? People, people, people's wives, all, all are helping, helping, helping themselves, old, old, male, male, male to go to bed, give, give, give a cup, water, water, drink, drink ... "

Knowing that he always contradicted that sentence, his wife said bluntly, "Are you like this? Other people's wives help their husbands to bed and pour them a glass of water. You just ignore me and keep scolding me. " Stop blaming, just say, "Stop it and go to the sofa." Then come and help him rest on the sofa.

Later, the leader's wife said that she was worried that his stuttering after drinking would not keep up, which would make people stutter. So we have to let go.

There is a stutterer in my village. When he was young, his mother asked him to borrow his pocket from menstruation's house. (The cloth bag for grain is called a bag)

He went to his aunt's house, and her aunt was relieving herself in the left spear toilet. Does he call his aunt at home?

Because he is a child, rural women don't shy away from children, so they say, I'm spearing. What's the matter?

He laughed again and again, trying to say pocket. At this time, let's finish it. Go ahead, go ahead. His aunt thought that the child said that she was in the spear toilet,,,,,,, and buckled things, denounced them and buckled your mother's B.

At this point, a joke fell.

Answer: Have you ever seen jokes made by people who stutter? I don't want to deal with people who stutter. When I hear people stuttering around talking to others, I will walk away at once and listen awkwardly and laboriously.

Tell a funny story: More than 20 years ago, there was an old man who ate in our village. His wife left long ago. He lives in two thatched cottages at the entrance to the village. He makes a living by knitting wicker baskets and selling them. There is a dirt road in front of the village primary school. After school, the children have to pass by the door of his thatched cottage, and sometimes they go to his house to hide in the wind and rain. There is no pedal in his house, and the children are laying bricks. After a long time, the old man came up with a plan If you stutter a lot, add a sugar. At that time, children can have a candy to eat, and they feel happy and satisfied. The class became bigger and bigger, and finally it grew to more than 20 people. Children are attracted by this curious language. They learn knowledge faster than in school. And they have free candy to eat, and they are addicted to stuttering, so they can eat candy. They will have the results soon, and they will never change their normal speeches before.

Since then, there have been twenty or thirty stutterers in the village. They can't get together and talk. Some people around you can't stand it and will laugh until they go into shock.

Learning to stutter is the fastest. Dealing with stutterers, as long as you feel rare, learn a few words, and the taste will soon change. Pay attention to prevent stuttering.

Our former workshop leader, a secretary and a director all had stuttering problems.

One day, the secretary told the director of the general factory that there was a meeting to talk about in the factory, so I'll go and attend it! The director immediately said that I ... Me too, so you should go!

As a result, Director Li went to the meeting.

At the meeting, the factory leaders asked all departments to talk about the coordination between departments. Faced with practical problems, Director Li had to say: the machine ... the motor branch was closed ... because of equipment maintenance ... the action was too slow. ...

This is a suggestion for the Mobile Division; Wang is a middle-aged man with a good sense of humor. He is unconvinced by the stuttering accusation of Director Li, and he is not easy to get angry in front of the whole factory. I saw section chief Lao Wang unhurriedly saying something unusual: "Li ... Li Zhu, director ... me, which of our ... maintenance workers won't be ... worthy of cooperation, you ... you tell me, I ... I am definitely the person in charge ... discipline ..."

Lao Wang's stuttering made people, including the director, burst into laughter.