007 joke

The child asked where his father came from. His father said, "I picked it out of the cupboard." Ask mom again, mom said, "Mom dreamed that there was a child on the pillow. Open your eyes and you were there!" " "Asked grandpa again, and answered," Grandpa wants to have grandchildren. When the fairy knows, she will send an eagle to take you to our door. "In the evening, the child wrote a composition: Our home is terrible. We haven't had sex for two generations. Three men competed with each other in marksmanship. The first person put an apple on the other person's head and smashed it with one shot. He blew the gun and said, I'm Zorro! The second man put a cherry on the other head and smashed it with one shot. He blew the muzzle and said, I'm 007! The third man put a sesame seed on the other person's head and shot him in the head. He also blew the gun and said, I'm sorry! A foreigner asked me, "Are China's post-80s and post-90s capable of doing such a thing?" I said, "Of course, I don't mention anything about internal forces and hidden weapons. The deepest kung fu is acupuncture, as we all know. "The foreigner expressed doubts, so I immediately practiced a few hands to show him: rubbing Yin Tian point, squeezing Jingming point, rubbing Sibai point, and the last big trick: scraping your eyes by pressing the temple wheel. There is a Zhouyi class in a university. The teacher came in with a compass and walked around the classroom. Then, he spit out a sentence: "students, today is not suitable for class, let's finish school!" "Someone was sleeping in class. When the teacher saw the fire, he told him to solve the problem on the blackboard and prepare to humiliate him in public. Just stood up, the teacher began to sour him: "Your grades are not good, and you dare to sleep in class. If you are shameless, you can sleep ... "As a result, someone solved the problem beautifully. The teacher suddenly felt a little embarrassed. As a result, he walked back to his seat, sat down and said frankly, "I'm going to sleep first, and then you can ask me ..." "Lu Yu and two old people are playing chess, and I'm watching the game, and the disk is very anxious. For ten minutes, the two old people have been thinking. After a long time, one of them looked up and asked, Who is it? The other party replied: I don't know! There are two old men playing chess in Lu Yu, and I am watching. The plate is in a hurry. For ten minutes, the two old people have been thinking. After a long time, one of them looked up and asked, Who is it? The other party replied: I don't know! Dad asked his son, "Who will you marry in the future?" The son said, "I want to marry my grandmother. She loves me! " Dad scolded: "You fart! How can you marry my mother? " The son retorted, "You can marry my mother, why can't I marry your mother!" " "On the bus, a buddy was cutting fruit, cutting and cutting ... suddenly he paused the game, and his hand might be rubbing his clothes because of sweating ... I asked," Dude, what are you doing? " He raised his head, raised his hand and said to me lightly, "Sharpen the knife …" A robber slipped into the jewelry store and pointed a gun at the boss and said, "Give me the ring, hurry up!" The boss was scared to death and handed a diamond ring. The robber looked at it carefully and shouted, "I have to convince my fiancee that I bought it!" " "My five-year-old daughter asked her father to help her. Dad: "Dad is very tired. Give me a compliment, and I will be refreshed again. " Daughter: "Lao Zheng!" Dad: "Hey! Daughter: "Your girl is really beautiful." One day, an old man came up to me and said, "Give me a mobile card, will you?" "Then the friend said without looking up," Master, someone is coming to smash the venue! " "Yesterday I pulled out cupping and went swimming. I was swimming happily when I heard a little girl behind me say loudly, "ladybug!" " "I don't know what happened, so I looked back at her. As a result, she immediately cried and said to her mother, "Mom, ladybug essence ..." When I was in college, I played World of Warcraft with everyone. One day, when the guild was active, a buddy of YY Voice had to leave anyway and asked her why she had to go to class in the afternoon. All of a sudden, YY appeared all kinds of contempt, all kinds of abuse, skipping classes. This guy said, I can't. I am a teacher. Instantly quiet. After watching my concubine in the palace for a few days, I began to talk to my roommate with an accent. " Hey, the cake you bought today is great. Thick cheese rich in mousse is best. I want to smoke more. Although I will gradually lose weight, I won't owe it. ""speak human words. ""... the cake is delicious. I want to eat another piece. In the primary school Chinese exam, the first half of the fill-in-the-blank question is-Gaoshan said to the sea: You are so broad! So vast! So passionate! So surging! The sea said to the mountain: (). A classmate wrote on the test paper: (Thank you for your compliment! )。 The marking teacher burst into tears. . When a girl saw a boy sleeping in class, she sent a text message to her boyfriend: The boy next to me slept like a dead pig, and his mouth watered all over. How funny! As a result, her boyfriend didn't receive the news until midnight because of the bad internet. . . . The student asked, "Teacher, why is the straight line between two points the shortest?" Teacher: "If you throw a bone, do you think the dog will go around and pick it up or just run over and pick it up?" Student: "of course, I went straight to pick it up!" " "Teacher:" You still ask questions that even dogs know? The English teacher flew into a rage when correcting the composition and said, "I have never seen such a poor composition! Another teacher asked, "What did you write?" The English teacher said, "The story of the prince and the princess." ""not bad. " "What's so good? He began by writing that the prince asked the princess,' Can you speak Chinese? Princess "Yes!" The back is full of Chinese! ! Once upon a time, there was a man named Shuang who died. On the day of the funeral, his family cried: Cool ... Cool. Passers-by were puzzled and asked, "What are you cool about?" The family cried bitterly: "That's cool ... that's cool!" . . . . . . .