A collection of Wanfeng’s classic quotations

Wan Feng is the host of the program "Eden Mailbox" on the literary channel of Zhejiang People's Broadcasting Station. He is well-known for his late-night sex talk show and his unique hosting style. There were a lot of jokes between him and the audience, which made people laugh. No, I couldn't help but organize it into words and present it as a treasure. I hope you will accept it.

A complete collection of Wan Feng’s classic quotations

1. During a certain day’s program, a listener called the hotline to ask about pubic lice. The following is the conversation record (“Wan” means Wan Feng, “Listen” means Wan Feng) Audience) Listen: Wan...Teacher Wan Feng, I have a question to ask. Wan: (impatiently) Just tell me. Ting: I have pubic lice, what should I do? Wan: What should I do? Do you still dare to ask me? Have you had any unclean sex? Ting: No...no. Wan: No (sharp tone)! And does your lover, that is, your wife have one? Ting: No. Wan: Not really? Nonsense! Your wife didn’t have sex, and you didn’t have sex either. That’s not honest. Then where did you say your pubic lice came from? Airborne!

2. Another time , the audience asked Wan Feng, (I am a medical student. I think people who are not medical students also know that no matter whether they are men or women, their stool and urine do not seem to come out at the same time. Of course, individual cases with physiological or pathological deformities are not counted. . )

3. I haven’t heard it a few times, but there is one that impressed me deeply: Audience: Teacher Wan Feng, I can’t ejaculate! Wan: I can’t ejaculate?! How far do you want to ejaculate? There are in Africa. A species of fish that can shoot bugs off trees... Later I derived one: Audience: Teacher Wan Feng, I have very little pubic hair! Wan: How little pubic hair? How many do you want? There is a gorilla in Africa... …

4. In fact, many times, this person is really irritating, because he is really too feudal. He thinks that when sex is mentioned, he should blush, and whoever has related problems either messes around or wants to Fuck around. But he left a happy mark on my college years. That year, Wan Feng came to the Medical University to give a lecture. It was really a crowded place, and everyone wanted to see what this sexologist who knew nothing looked like. He said: "Back then in Xinjiang, I stayed in an empty house with a 20-year-old girl for three days and three nights, and nothing happened. Students, someone wants to ask, can you endure prison? I said, now Young people are so bad. I was very strong-willed at that time and could endure anything. ...I find it strange that I can't help it..."

5 , Listen: My girlfriend is pregnant... Wan: Another girlfriend is pregnant. Young people today are so irresponsible! Don't you take preventive measures? Listen: Too hasty, forgot. Wan: What's the rush? There's always time for this. Listen: This is my first time and I have no experience. Wan: First time? It’s not the first time in my heart. You must have been preparing for a long time, and you are always thinking about what to do with your girlfriend, right? Listen:... Wan: What should I do if something happens now? Ah? It’s really like a puppy that can’t change its habit of eating shit, and always thinking about it. Regarding these things... Listen: You are a bratty son... (cut off) Wan: This audience... (swearing)

6. Listen: Teacher Wan Feng, I We are getting married tomorrow! (Excitedly) Wan: This young man, why are you making a phone call after getting married? Listen: My girlfriend and I haven't had that experience yet. Teacher Wan Feng, I want to ask you, what should I do best for the first time? I'm very nervous now. Wan: Really! This young man needs to be praised! There are not many young people like you now! You have perseverance! I want to praise you! Listen: Thank you! What do you think I should do? I am very nervous, my daughter My friend was also nervous. Wan: About this, don’t you understand it at all? Can you go to a bookstore and look through the books, or buy a CD to learn from. Don't be nervous. It seems inappropriate to talk about this here, as there are many people listening.

I won’t talk about it today, okay? Listen: Where can I be... Wan: Actually, you just need to wait until you have an erection... Then he told the whole process on the radio without stopping. Oral porn...

7. Classic old jokes: Audience: Teacher Wan, listening to your program all the time has really taught me a lot. But when I listen to your show, I always hear the sound of your penis...the moaning of your penis. It feels so awkward. Can you...(The words are not finished, I am interrupted) Wan: What is the name of your penis instead of your penis? Do you want me to call you Ba Diao, Ma Qiaoer? Ah...

8. One time a woman called and asked, "Teacher Wan Feng, I saw a naked person, and I was so scared. What should I do?" The answer was: "Afraid, what are you afraid of? All you have to do is yell -----Be a hooligan (Wan Feng Treble)!"

9. I just heard it two days ago. Woman: My boyfriend and I broke up, but I still love him very much. What should I do? Wan: If we break up, just break up. Woman: But I still love him very much. Wan: You are just a toad at the bottom of the well, and you only see the toad next to you. When one day you climb up and see a better toad, you won't think about this toad anymore. There are so many toads outside, why do you keep pestering one? Everyone in our dormitory fainted with laughter. How do you use a toad to describe a girl? After all, he is also a frog.

10. He talks from the inside, which is contradictory to the outside. Wan: Welcome to Eden, I’m Wan Feng. We are in Hangzhou xxxxx... Welcome listeners and friends to call the hotline. Discuss matters related to sex, health and emotions. Male: Teacher Wan. I found that I feel uncomfortable down there... Wan: What? What down there? Tell me clearly... your legs, feet, are all down there...Male:... It's... the genitals... Wan:... have you had any unclean sex? Have you had sex? Let's talk... (omitted here) Man: Then you say... ;Wan: Where to go to the hospital!...Don't go to a good hospital......Is there a hospital here? I'm not a doctor...

11. Female: Wan Feng Teacher... Wan: Ah... Hello. Don't call me teacher. Female: My boyfriend and I...(not finished) Wan: Oh...let's talk...you guys don't learn well at a young age...why are you so anxious...Female: No No... we don't... we have some relationship problems... but I still love him... what do you think we should do? Wan: Ah?... can you solve this matter yourselves? The key is up to you. What's the use of asking me.

It seems that our time is almost up... Welcome to the Eden Mailbox...

12. Listen: "Teacher Wan Feng, I don't know why my girlfriend's penis becomes erect when I see it. What to do?" Wan: "What to do! Why do you, a young man, have such complicated thoughts? Why do you always have an erection like a pistol? Catching spies?"

13. A certain woman: "Hee hee... "..." Wan: "What's the fun? What's so fun?" A certain woman: "Is this teacher Wan Feng?" Wan: "I'm Wan Feng, please tell me!" A certain woman: "That's it..." My husband doesn’t have an erection when he wakes up in the morning..." Wan: "Why do you want to have an erection? Why do you have to do it when you have nothing to do?" A certain woman: "They said that he will have an erection in the morning..." Wan: "Who told you? Yes, it’s okay to have an erection. If you have an old erection and it’s hard and stiff, that’s a disease! It’s okay to have an erection for 10 minutes. Go check it out quickly and cut it off..." A certain woman: "Ah... they That's good..." Wan: "Don't let them say it, they say it!! Morning erections happen, but not everyone is the same. If you hold your urine in the morning, you can't even think about it!! Phew! Okay?... ;...We said..."

14. One time, a phone call came in and asked: Is it Teacher Wan Feng? Then he said: Yes!! One said: Oh, you are! Wan Feng Ah, my big B. Wan (Call phone): What! What!! If I heard correctly? Ah!! Then the recording was played: Mom, where did I come from!! Experts call for sex education to start from the age of zero!!

15. Once, someone called and asked: Is this Teacher Wan Feng? Answer: Yes!! Question: I had sex with my girlfriend, but she hasn’t had her period yet. We are now Very worried!!! Answer: There are two possibilities for this situation, one is that you are really pregnant, the other is that you were frightened when you were about to menstruate, and you were scared into it!! Ask... this kind of thing can scare you

16. Boy: "Oh, my girlfriend and I are getting married tomorrow. I don't know how to spend our wedding night. May I ask...?" Wan Feng: "Huh? You ask me about this kind of thing? Ask your parents...don't they have experience?"

17. Wan: This audience...listen : Teacher Wan, my penis is not very straight. Is there any problem?... Wan: Why do you want it to be so straight? It’s not just a ruler!

18. This guy doesn’t know either. How did you get into the radio station, dizzy. I still remember a passage from junior high school: Listen: Wan is a crazy old louse? Wan: Please tell me? Listen: I think my penis is very short... Wan: Short, how do you know it is short? Listen: I don’t have an erection. It's only...CM...Wan: Then how do you know that your penis is shorter than others? Listen:...Wan: Ah! How many times have I told you, don't always say that your penis is short. Only those diagnosed by a doctor are sick and need surgery.

Ah, I once saw a report that scientists discovered in a primitive tribe in Africa that the male penis is 30-40 centimeters long when not erect, and a rope is used to hang it around the waist during daily labor... ;Ah, you said it would be troublesome for you to bring such a big guy with you... How could such a big big guy come from this guy?

19. Audience: Teacher Wan Feng, I am here at night I went to a guest house at 10 o'clock, but I was locked up and questioned by the security guards. I was beaten severely by them. Wan: Oh, this kind of thing happens every day, it’s nothing. Audience: But they are so unreasonable and it is illegal. Wan: Don't talk to me about this kind of thing. If you really want to say something, go to the police station. We can't control it here. Audience: But I feel aggrieved. Wan: Okay, okay, then why did you go out so late? Wouldn't it be fine if you were at home at night?

20. I was riding in a taxi late one night, and this guy's program was playing on the radio... …Audience:...I...several of my girlfriends say that I...the one below...is a bit big (the words are interrupted before the words are finished)...Wan: Big ?Do you think you are great because you are big? Are you as big as a donkey or a horse?...Audience:...(speechless)...(hang up)

Next, take The jokes created by several talented people are shared with everyone. As a friendly reminder, there are a lot of laughs later.

Virgin section:

Me: Hello, teacher Wan Feng!

Wan Feng: Well, please tell me, what’s the matter. (I wonder why you didn’t ask me my last name)

Me: Hello, Teacher Wan Feng, I like listening to your program very much. My last name is Ben.

Wan Feng: Well, hello. (Seems like he didn’t pay much attention to me)

Me: My name is bin Laden!

Wan Feng: You are such a bastard!!! (Hang up the phone immediately and won’t say any more curse words)

Paragraph 2:

Panda: Hello, Teacher Wan?

Wan Feng: Well, hello, what’s up?

Panda : Oh, hello, Teacher Wan, I’m here to thank you!

Wan Feng: Oh? (very excited) What’s going on? Why do you want to thank me?

Panda: I did the same before I was a little gangster in society. Later, after listening to your program, I read books and newspapers. Now I have improved and have some achievements!

Wan Feng: Oh? What achievements have you made now? (I guess) I want to show off my ability to transform)

Panda: I won the Nobel Prize in Physics!

Wan Feng: Director! Give me this person’s number! (That’s it) It was the first time my phone number was published. I remember staying up all night, and the phone messages kept coming in. Some admired, some admired, and some criticized. Alas, I could only read it as a novel.)

Paragraph 3:

L: Hello, Teacher Wan Feng!

Wan Feng: Please tell me something!

L: I am a high school student, my father My mother is from an ethnic minority, so I am too.

Wan Feng: Oh, isn’t that great?

L: But my classmates all discriminate against me?

Wan Feng: Why! What is your nationality? Yes?

L: I am a Super Saiyan! (He burst out laughing immediately, and hung up the phone before Wan Feng could react)

Wan Feng : What? What did you say? It seems like it’s another...

Paragraph 4:

Director: Hello.

Me: Hello, I am a student and I would like to ask Teacher Wan Feng for advice on some study matters.

Director: Are you from Xiaoshan? Recently, many Xiaoshan accounts have come in to cause trouble. I hope you are not here to cause trouble.

Me: Yes, I know, I’m here to ask questions.

Director: OK. Then don't say anything and I'll take you in.

Wan Feng: Hello!

Me: Hello, Teacher Wan Feng.

Wan Feng: Hello, please.

Me: Teacher Wan Feng, I am a high school student. I am very busy studying and I have a lot of pressure to take exams every month.

Wan Feng: Why do you have to take exams every month?

Me: It’s just monthly exams, I’m in my third year of high school.

Wan Feng: Oh, and there is this, what happened to you?

Me: I just failed in the exam recently, my parents lied to me, now and They quarreled and ran out!

Wan Feng: How could they be quarreling? Let’s talk it over.

Me: They just scolded me for not doing well in the exam, and now I have run away from home

Wan Feng: Why are you still running away from home? Go back quickly!!!

Me: The problem is that I can’t go back now!

Wan Feng: Why can’t I go back? Where are you?

Me: I’m on Mars, My parents drove my spaceship away! (I remember saying this with a smile, but I couldn’t hold it in anymore, so I hung up the phone myself)

Wan Feng: What? Where are you? Still laughing!

Mars Project 2: This is the sequel to Panda telling my joke.

Panda: Hello, Teacher Wan Feng!

Wan Feng: Hello, what’s the matter?

Panda: Someone called you two days ago and said Ran away from home. He is always making trouble, and I think it is wrong for him to do this.

Wan Feng: Well, that person seems to be here to cause trouble. He seems to say that he is on Mars. I don’t care about him. What do you want to say?

Panda: Oh, Teacher Wan Feng, I want to tell you. Last time I returned to Earth, I passed by Mars and saw him!

Wan Feng: You bastard! (You are so angry)

Finally, we want to say, Wan Feng Teacher, although we have teased you, you are the memory of our generation and we love you!