A funny little joke!

First, "The Language of Civilization" Xiao Ming raised his hand in class. Teacher: Xiaoming? What's the matter, Xiaoming: Teacher, I want to shit! Teacher: This is a civilized society. Please speak in civilized language! Xiao Ming: Teacher, my ass wants to vomit! Second, "Stealing a Car" There was a man whose car was always lost, so one night he added three locks to his bike and put a piece of paper on it, which read: Let you steal! ! ! The next morning, he was about to unlock the lock and go to work, only to find another lock. A piece of paper was posted on the car, which read: Let you ride! Three, "ditch" has two brothers, the elder brother is lame, but the younger brother is blind! One day, the blind brother was riding a bicycle, and his brother was sitting in the back seat. The two brothers are in tandem. Suddenly, the lame brother found a ditch in front of him. They were not far from it. So my brother shouted, "ditch, ditch, ditch!" " "(Go, go, go) The younger brother smiled and said," Whoa, whoa, whoa! ~ ~ "Fourth," Shut up and trouble "Shut up and trouble are two little boys. They are friends, but sometimes they fight! One day, they each bought an ice cream. They accidentally dropped the ice cream, so he grabbed it and ran away. Shut up and chase for a long time, but I didn't catch up and began to cry. Just then, a policeman came up and asked to shut up: "What's your name, little friend?" Shut up and answer, "Shut up." The policeman was a little angry and asked again, but he got the same answer. This time the policeman was really angry and said, "Are you looking for trouble?" Shut up, nodded and said, "Yes! That trouble robbed me of my ice cream. "I remember the first teacher who died because of me. At that time, I was in the first grade of primary school, and my teacher took us to the wild to do natural practice classes. Seeing the spring breeze blowing green, I asked, classmates, do you know how to tell the wind direction? I know, a little girl in my class picked up a leaf and floated into the air: picked up a leaf and floated into the air to see where it floated. The teacher praised it, very good, so who else would like to show it to you again? Me. I volunteered, picked up half a brick from the ground and floated into the air ... Report to the teacher, it's blowing up and down now! A patient with super myopia went to see a doctor and said to him, "why can't I see anything?" The doctor took him outside, pointed to the sun and said, "What is that?" "The patient said firmly," Isn't that the sun? " The doctor asked, "sir, how far do you want to see?" Fishing A rich old man was fishing by the lake with a fishing rod. If no fish has been hooked for a long time, use cookies as bait, but no fish has been hooked for a long time. After thinking about it, I changed the earthworm as bait and no fish took the bait. At this time, he lost his temper, took out 100 yuan from his pocket and threw it on the lake and shouted, "buy whatever you want." "8." Chasing the car "caught the car in the morning, and when it arrived at the platform, the car had already left. So I had to chase and shout: "Master, wait for me! Master, wait for me! " At this moment, a passenger leaned out of the window and said to me, "Stop chasing Bajie. A very fat woman got on the bus and couldn't find a seat. She had to pull a ring on the bus. Unexpectedly, the driver suddenly braked, and the fat woman pulled off the pull ring and jumped in front of the driver. The driver looked at her and the pull ring in her hand and said angrily, "There are three sets. Send a signed photo to the driver! "X." Love cleanliness "There was a beautiful lady who took out a tissue from her bag and wiped her seat hard after getting on the bus. She farted when she was about to sit down. A gentleman next to him listened and joked: Miss really loves hygiene, and she still has to blow it for so long! Eleven, "Shenzhou VI" Tang Yan: This time, you should find a shortcut! Wukong: Flying is faster than riding! Bajie: Shenzhou VI is faster! Friar Sand pulled out his gun and said, I heard this thing will be sent to the west at once. Twelve, "Breathe" Motorcyclists like to wear clothes backwards, that is, buckle their buttons behind their backs to keep out the wind. One day, he drove under the influence of alcohol, overturned and fell headlong on the side of the road. When the police arrived ... Policeman A: What a terrible car accident. Policeman B: Yes, I hit my head in the back. Officer A: Well, he's still breathing. Let's help him turn his head back. Policeman B: OK ... One, two, push, turn around. Policeman A: Well, I'm not breathing ... thirteen. People ask: Who is the darkest cartoon character in the world? Why a robot cat? Because he can't reach out and ask: Who is the most compassionate cartoon character in the world? Answer: Why the robot cat? Because he always reaches out his round hand to people!

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