Funny copy that people can't help sharing.

1. You called me short. You are a joke, but you will never hold your head up in front of me.

2. "I miss the past, when the sky was blue and the water was clear, and women would laugh when sitting in the back seat of bicycles." God replied, "Because most people couldn't afford bicycles at that time."

Write a note to the male god and put it in his hand when you pass by him. As a result, when you get excited, you tear off his pants and stop loving him.

4. Perfect boyfriend: no smoking, no drinking, no cheating. Does not exist!

5. A fish died recently. I thought for a long time and didn't want to be buried, so I arranged for it to be cremated. Who knows, the more roasted, the more fragrant it is, so I have to prepare a bottle of beer for myself!

6. After working outside for three years, I came home with nothing. I thought mom would be furious. Unexpectedly, my mother didn't scold me, but comforted me: "Son, you don't have nothing, at least you have the face to come back."

7. Psychological suggestion is very important to lose weight. If you shout "I lost weight, I lost weight!" to the mirror ten times every morning. As long as you persist for a week, the mirror will think you are particularly shameless.

8. Women in Wang Fu have several characteristics: they can eat, drink, sleep, spend money, be unreasonable and not work!

9. Seeing others working so hard, so diligent and so energetic on the road to success, ask yourself, don't you want to be a stumbling block to them?

10. Never take advantage of small things, but take advantage of big things.

1 1. It is said that children are pearls left behind, and mothers are angels sent by God to protect children. And I am the top that God dropped, and my mother likes to pull the top.

12. When I was a child, my dream was to walk around with a lot of money every day. Now I am a bus conductor.

13. There are only two things I can't do in my life: 1. This will not happen, 2. That won't happen.

14. I dreamed that I was beaten by a group of people last night and woke up. Then I went back to sleep and met that group of people and said to me, how dare you come back?

15. When family planning was too strict, my father wanted me to pretend to be disabled in order to have a second child. Let me pretend to be blind first, but I can see the pile of delicious fruits in the office of the Disabled Persons' Federation. I couldn't help drooling and laughing. The staff said: alas, it is obviously a fool, not a blind man! In this way, my sister conforms to the policy.

16. It's not that I don't want to be a lady. It's the world that makes me a bitch!

17. I'm here to warn people who have objects that you'd better choose to show your love at noon. Do you know why? Because sooner or later there will be retribution.

18. The teacher asked: Who can translate "A sparrow knows the ambition of a swan" into modern Chinese? "Hall, you don't understand my brother's world. ...

19. An older male diaosi buddy went on a blind date and asked me what clothes I wore to look young. While I was still thinking about it, the second-rate wife came over and said, wearing open-backed pants, young and lovely. ...

20. The stories in fairy tales are all lies, and the troubles in reality are free.

2 1. I once naively thought that money is everything, but later I found that money is not everything, but everything.

22. The most disloyal thing in the world is money. We agreed to go out together, and then it wouldn't come back with me. The most loyal thing is meat, damn it, you can't get rid of it!

23. Stupid men and stupid women = get married; Stupid men and smart women = divorce; Smart men and stupid women = extramarital affairs; Smart man and smart woman = romantic love.

24. People who like me are good people. People who don't like me are bad people. Nobody hates me.

25. Why fall in love? Isn't the mobile phone fun? Or is the essential balm not easy to use?

26. Wallet, what happened to your wallet? Answer my wallet. Why have you lost weight again? Wake up.

27. When you are too old to walk, I will push you to the square in a wheelchair every day and let you watch me dance with other old people.