What is the golden cicada shelling method?

The so-called golden cicada shelling method is that when we are in a difficult situation, we actively use various confusing methods to divert the attention of the other party, change the questions that we can't answer, and let the other party not understand our actual situation and trends, so as to get rid of the predicament in time and save the day.

1. transplantation method

On one occasion, a leader held a press conference in Beijing to introduce the economic achievements of New China. A western reporter asked, "Excuse me, how much money does the People's Bank of China have?" The leader heard the implication and replied humorously: "The monetary fund of China People's Bank is 18 yuan 88 points." The reporter was dumbfounded and the venue was silent. Then he explained: "The People's Bank of China issued ten kinds of RMB with denominations of 10 yuan, 5 yuan, 2 yuan, 1 yuan, 5 cents, 2 cents, 1 minute, totaling 18 yuan 8 cents. The People's Bank of China is a financial institution in which the people of China are the masters of their own affairs, with the people of the whole country as the backing. Outstanding credit and strong strength. The currency it issues is the most reputable currency in the world and enjoys a high reputation internationally. " A witty remark shocked the audience and caused warm applause from the audience.

The figures asked by western journalists obviously belong to the scope of state secrets, while western journalists know perfectly well past asking, with the intention of mocking China's poverty. Keen China leaders are aware of the implications. Instead of directly refusing to answer, he gave a "no comment" and didn't even accuse the other party of bad motives. Instead, I answered irrelevant questions, replacing flowers with the total amount of RMB in various denominations, and using the topic to play a good role in promoting the financial stability of new China. The answer is witty and humorous.

When Ryoko Nakano, a famous Japanese film actress, went to Shanghai for artistic exchange, China's friends were very concerned about the 35-year-old unmarried film artist. When someone asked her when she would get married, Ryoko Nakano smiled and replied quickly, "If I get married, I will come to China for my honeymoon."

The marriage of movie stars is a very sensitive topic from the media to the street. If it is not done well, it will spread beyond recognition. However, in the face of the enthusiastic concern of our friends in China, out of courtesy, we can't refuse to answer with "no comment". Ryoko Nakano's answer is very clever. She did not shy away from the question of getting married, but shifted the question of "when to get married" to the question of "where to spend her honeymoon" and made an alternative. In this way, she not only avoided the wedding time that she didn't intend to disclose, but also used the wedding honeymoon place to express her friendly feelings for the people of China, which was very humorous.

Replacing trees with flowers is a language that seems to answer questions, avoiding the other party's questions, letting the other party's offensive unconsciously resolve, thus jumping out of the dilemma set by the other party. This serious and polite answer form is in sharp contrast with the content of the answer, which is equal to nothing and produces a humorous effect.

Marry a difficult person

The so-called marriage is difficult, that is, skillfully kicking the problem to others, making others tired of coping, and we seize the opportunity to get rid of adversity.

At night, Cohen tossed and turned in bed, unable to sleep. So his wife asked him, "What, are you sick?"

"No, I owe Tom across the street $300, which is due tomorrow, but I have no money, so I can't sleep."

"Just for this?" The wife was quite surprised. She got out of bed carelessly, opened the window and shouted to the opposite house, "Hey, Tom, my husband can't pay you back tomorrow!" " "Say that finish, she closed the window and went back to her husband. She said, "Well, now you can sleep in peace. Now it's Tom's turn to stay awake! " "

What a clever wife, kicking the problem to others, although she didn't finally solve the problem, at least she got rid of the temporary difficulties.

Emperor Qianlong wanted to make a joke and stumped the witty scholar Ji Xiaolan. He asked him, "Qing Ji, how do you explain loyalty and filial piety?" Ji Xiaolan replied: "You want me to die, I have to die, for loyalty ..." Gan Long immediately said: "I now order you to die like a gentleman?" "This ... I got the message!" "How are you going to die?" "Jump into the river." "Ok, let's go!" After Ji Xiaolan left, Qianlong walked up and down the hall with a smile. After a while, I saw Ji Xiaolan running back from the outside. Gan Long asked, "Qing Ji, why didn't you die?" Ji Xiaolan replied, "I met Qu Yuan, and he wouldn't let me die." "What do you mean?" "I walked to the river and was about to jump. Dr. Qu came to me from the water. He patted me on the shoulder and said, "Xiaolan, this is not right. I think King Chu is a bad king, and I must die. But now that the emperor is so wise, you should go back and ask him if he is a bad king, and if he says yes. It's never too late for you to die again! " After hearing this, Emperor Qianlong smiled without a word.

Gan Long thinks that Ji Xiaolan can be stumped by the "Three Cardinals and Five Permits" and the imperial edict. I didn't expect Ji Xiaolan to have a punch line and kick the question to myself; If he wants Ji Xiaolan dead, That is to admit that you are a bad king; If he doesn't admit that he is a bad king, he will have to eat his words and admit that he can't beat Ji Xiaolan.

Kicking difficulties to others is a good way to vent and a witty response, but it is not always humorous, like the following example:

A seagoing ship is sinking.

Captain: Does anyone expect God to save them?

Passenger: I hope so.

Captain: Great! Our lifeboat just can't hold one person.

This is simply taking advantage of others' ignorance to put others in a desperate situation. It's hard to say it's tact, but it's just cunning.

As the current pushes the boat.

The premiere of Bernard Shaw's play Arms and Man was a great success. At the end of the play, many audiences asked Bernard Shaw to come to the stage to meet them. However, when Bernard Shaw stepped onto the stage, a man suddenly shouted, "Bernard Shaw, your script is terrible. Go back and stop playing! " "

Bernard Shaw was not angry when he heard the shouts. Instead, he bowed deeply to the man and said politely, "My friend, you are right. I couldn't agree with you more! It's a pity that the two of us are against so many audiences. Can we ban the performance of this play? "

A punch line made the whole audience laugh, and the man who deliberately picked a quarrel left despondently.

It is conceivable that it is very difficult for Bernard Shaw to directly counter the slander of the attacker. Because it is impossible and unnecessary for him to tell a rogue whether his script is excellent or bad. Clever playwrights avoid their sharp edges, conform to the situation, bow and praise well, and express their complete agreement. Then, suddenly, the conversation turned, grasping the focus of the opponent's attack, in stark contrast to the enthusiastic support and request of others to perform again, and responded sharply with humor. At this time, the other party still wants to argue, because Bernard Shaw has agreed to stop the performance, and it is not good to pester him any more. The laughter from the audience declared his isolation, and it was also a mockery and satire of his deliberate provocation, so he had to walk away despondently.

A logical conclusion is to face other people's offensives, seize the intention and focus, ostensibly conform to the situation, but in fact, it is to lure the other side to go deep alone by means of "four or two strokes", leading to the absurd extreme, and then suddenly take a surprise reversal, focusing on killing the carbuncle, so that the other side can pass out with one blow in the case of being secretly happy. In this strong contrast, comic humor came into being.

Zhang Leping's famous cartoon "Sanmao Call Mom" shows a lady holding a pug to meet Sanmao. The woman teased Sanmao, saying that as long as Sanmao called her pug "Dad" several times. She gave thirty dollars, thirty dollars. This is really a great personal insult, but the clever Sanmao quickly came up with a clever plan: he called the dog "Dad" several times, and the woman had to give the ocean to Sanmao in full view. San Mao took the money and said gratefully, "Thank you, Mom!" "

This will embarrass the lady.

The clever Sanmao used the method of "pushing the boat with the current", which made the original high-ranking opponent fall into a more embarrassing predicament than himself, and his wit and humor were fully revealed.

4. Misunderstanding and avoidance

In the Southern Dynasties, Qi Gaozu studied calligraphy with calligrapher Wang Sengqian. Suddenly, Emperor Qi Gaodi asked Wang Sengqian, "Who writes the best handwriting than me?" The king replied, "My handwriting is the best among ministers, and yours is the best among emperors." Qi Gaudi smiled and said, "You know how to protect yourself."

It is really difficult to answer the question of Emperor Gao Di of Qi, or he lied against his will and flattered the emperor. Either tell the truth and offend the emperor. Faced with this dilemma, Wang Sengqian deliberately avoided the question of "who is better than two people", but skillfully answered the question of comparing two people with the same kind in two different ranges. This not only took care of the face of Emperor Gao Di of Qi, but also safeguarded his own dignity and created a humorous atmosphere.

The so-called misinterpretation avoidance is to avoid the sharp edge of the other party's topic and understand and answer it from an unexpected angle, so that the other party can neither benefit nor grasp our handle to get rid of the entanglement of the other party.

In Shaoshan, Mao Zedong's hometown, there is a "Maojia Hotel" with a thriving business. The proprietress praises the party's policies whenever she meets people.

One autumn, an American guest came to this restaurant for dinner. She served several dishes full of Hunan flavor to American guests and was about to turn around and leave. Unexpectedly, the guest stopped her and asked in Chinese:

"Boss, if President Mao Zedong is still alive, can you run this hotel?" .

The proprietress didn't expect him to ask such a sharp and tricky question, and she panicked at the moment. But after all, she has seen the world. In recent years, she has opened a shop and ushered in delivery, and she has also developed a watertight "Aqingsao style" eloquence. She just a thought, replied:

"Without Chairman Mao, my family would have starved to death. Where can I open a shop here? "

Hearing this, the American guests could not help but say with a smile:

"Good answer! Good answer! "

Good answer! Avoid traps and hidden edges set by problems. On the other hand, the circuitous answer is that the military tactics are aboveboard, and the admiration and nostalgia for Mao Zedong are among them.

Sneak into the warehouse

The so-called "sneaking around" means that when mistakes cause embarrassment, they will make mistakes, set a turning point in mistakes, and create an opportunity to secretly correct mistakes, so as to get out of trouble.

An actor plays Lu Su and forgets to bring his beard in a hurry. He stepped on the rhythm of gongs and drums and went through the motions. Before coming to "Zhou Yu", Zhou Yu was shocked, but still asked "Who are you?" Lu Su brushes his beard as usual. Oh, no! But instead of panicking, he had a brainwave and changed the original "I am Lu Su" to "I am Lu Su's son". Zhou Yu also echoed: "Bold! If you want to kill me at a young age, you have to go back and call you dad! " Lu Su got the message: "Yes!" In this way, he leisurely went back to call his "father" to play. In fact, he went back to grow a beard.

The audience under the stage had already applauded. After watching their humorous performance, they couldn't help drinking.

In a quiz, the host asked: What do you mean by "three cardinals"? A female student replied: "I am the monarch, my son is the father, and my wife is the husband."

Her answer just reversed the relationship between the three and caused a burst of laughter. The schoolgirl was hungry and immediately added, "What are you laughing at? I am talking about the new three cardinal guides. "

The host asked doubtfully, "How to explain it?"

The female student replied unhurriedly: "Now, our people are masters of their own affairs, and leaders are all public servants of the people, no matter how high their official positions are. Am I not a monarch? " At present, a couple has only one child, and this child has become the little emperor of his parents. Isn't the child the father? In many families, the power of the wife far exceeds that of the husband. The wife is strict, and the model husband is popular everywhere. Isn't it a wife or a husband? "

What new three basic principles! The audience applauded the female students' ability to make up for the slip of the tongue!

A horse stumbles, a man slips. Sometimes it is inevitable to spill the beans in daily conversation. At this time, it is best to remedy it in time. You can replace trees with flowers, marry difficult people, push the boat with the current, or misinterpret and avoid it. Of course, you might as well make a mistake and sneak in, so that you can not only catch up. And sometimes it can create a humorous atmosphere.

6. Give him back to me.

There is an interesting joke.

A beautiful young girl was sitting alone in a bar. It seems that she must come from a rich family.

A young man came over. "Is anyone sitting here?" He asked in a low voice

"to the Avda hotel?" She said loudly.

"No, no, no, you are going the wrong way. I'm just asking, is there anyone else sitting here? "

"You said you were going tonight?" She screamed, more excited than before.

The young man was embarrassed by her. He blushed and went to another table. Many customers looked at him angrily and contemptuously.

After a while, the young girl came to his desk and ordered him a glass of brandy. She said softly, "I'm sorry, I just want to see your reaction to the unexpected situation."

It was the young man's turn to shout, "What? Want 100 yuan? "

The young girl played a trick on the young man in public, which was very hurtful. It's a shame that the young man is regarded as a customer by everyone. Fortunately, the young man finally seized an opportunity to do the same thing to him, making everyone think that the young girl was just a prostitute, which made her make a fool of herself.

In the waiting room of the railway station, a middle-aged man saw a beautiful young woman sitting next to him and wanted to talk to her. When she saw the young woman wearing a pair of flesh-colored stockings, she smiled and asked, "Where did you buy these stockings? I also want to buy a pair for my wife. "

The young woman looked at him and said, "I advise you not to buy it." If you wear these socks, an irresponsible man will find an excuse to talk to your wife. "

This answer is wonderful. In humorous language, turn a corner and reprimand him, leaving him speechless, unable to respond, and unable to find a chance to ask questions or get angry.

When Pushkin, a great Russian poet, was young, he once attended a family dance of a duke in Petersburg. He invited a young lady to dance, and the young lady proudly said, "I can't dance with children!" " Pushkin had a brainwave and said with a smile, "I'm sorry, miss, I didn't know you were pregnant." After that, he bowed politely, but the beautiful lady was speechless and blushed.

This is also "deal with a man as he deals with you".