Conversational humor jokes

A selection of conversational humor jokes

Humorous stories, humor, will enrich your character; Each story department is very close to your life and can bring you happiness and relaxation after your intense study life. The following are the conversational humor jokes I collected for you. Did you laugh?

Conversational humor jokes 1 1, A: What have you been up to recently?

B: I'm busy getting a visa to go abroad to America!

A: What's the hurry? Take your time!

I can't. My daughter-in-law is about to give birth. We have to hurry!

Oh, I see. Born in America, let the children be Americans.

B: That's right. We can't be Americans, but we must try to be American dads!

2. In the kitchen, the apprentice and the master peeled quail eggs together. After a while, the apprentice peeled several quail eggs, and none of them were bad. The apprentice admired him very much and said, "Master, you are really amazing. Can you teach me how to peel it? "

Master looked at the peeled quail eggs and said angrily, "Idiot, if you peel them, it will be over."

On Labor Day, the city held a grand meeting to commend a group of advanced individual workers. City leaders also personally took the stage to shake hands with the workers.

When I came to Dazhuang, Dazhuang held the leader's hand tightly and shook it a few times.

The leader patted Dazhuang on the shoulder: "Young man, do a good job! You are full of energy. What do you do? "

Dazhuang excitedly replied: "Foot massage!"

The leader shook his head and left.

When Dalin's son saw his friends, some had a little brother and some had a little sister, he went home and asked them, "Why don't you give me another brother or sister?"

Dalin sighed: "Plant 10,000 seeds in spring and harvest a millet in autumn!" "

The son didn't understand, and Dalin went on to say, "We are born from the same root. Why are you in such a hurry to meet? "

The wife said unhurriedly, "It's true that the place of origin is the same, but it's hard to say that the same root is different!" " "

Darling gave her a hard look.

Old Tang drank a cup of hot milk before coming to the mobile blood donation car, and then rolled up his sleeves. When the staff saw it, they sighed and said, "Grandpa, didn't I tell you that you are too old to donate blood? How come again? "

Old Tang Xiaoxiao: "Oh, I forgot!"

The staff said helplessly, "You have been here for a week, and you have a glass of milk every day. Do you treat us as a free breakfast? "

Old Tang was embarrassed: "I'm not going to offer love, am I?" How about we make an exception today? How many points? "

6. Neighbor Zhang Jie hasn't been to work for many days. I met him downstairs today and asked, "Why didn't you go to work?"

The elder sister sighed and said, "Retired!"

"You retired so young?"

Sister Zhang smiled: "Isn't this because of work-related injuries? Busy eating breakfast at work, working overtime and staying up late, sedentary and not exercising ... "

I don't understand: "Why don't you ask for compensation for work-related injuries?"

Elder sister wry smile: "I this work-related injury no one will pay! —— Being fat is the biggest work-related injury in my years of work! "

7. A duck pointed to a picture on the wall and said to another duck, "Is it beautiful?"

Another duck: "beautiful, very beautiful!" " "

"I will marry it!"

"It's the people in the painting, not people like us!" The other duck sneered-

"You really have no knowledge. Its scientific name is graffiti! "

8. Dad: Son, today is a special day. Our family must commemorate the May 4th Movement!

Child: Dad! Great! I like the May 4th Movement best! You wait! The child is gone, come back at once, with a deck of playing cards in his hand.

Dad: What are you doing?

Child: To commemorate the May 4th Movement!

9, labor day is coming, the father wants to give his son some labor thought education:

At noon in summer, the sun is very hot, farmers are still working, and beads are dripping into the soil. Who knows that every grain of Chinese food is hard? Son! This ancient poem tells us to cherish every grain. Farmers work hard in farming!

The son thought carefully for a while, looked at his father and said solemnly, in order not to let the farmer uncle work so hard! Let's eat meat.

10, early in the morning of may 1, mom: son, how did you stay at home on holiday? The world is so big, don't you want to go out and have a look?

Son: Why don't you want to go out and have a look, but …

Mom: No money, right? Here, here is the money. ...

Son: Mom, you are great ... Why do you have so little money?

Mom: How much do you want to spend on some vegetables in the market?

Son: ...

Conversational humor joke 2 No.65438 +0

Man: "May I ask you the way?"

Woman: "Where?"

Man: "to your heart"

Woman: "Sorry, this road is closed."

second

Man: "Your legs must be very tired!" " "

Woman: "Why?"

Man: "Because you've been running around in my head all day."

Woman: "I think it's ok, because your brain is really too small."

third place

Man: (looking at the label of her shirt)

Woman: "What are you doing?"

Man: "I wonder if you are made in heaven."

Woman: "Are you from hell?"

fourth

Man: "I had a bad day." Seeing a beautiful girl smile will make me feel better. Can you smile for me? "

Woman: "Do you want me to have a bad day?"

Fifth place

Man: "Sorry, I'm an artist. Staring at beautiful women is my job. "

Woman: "I'm sorry, I'm a breeder, and being watched by others makes me uncomfortable."

Sixth

Man: "Miss, can you lend me five dollars?"

Woman: "What are you going to do?"

Man: "I'm going to call my mother and tell her that I saw a peerless beauty today."

Woman: "Sorry, I can't lend it to you."

Man: "Why?"

Woman: "because I'm going to call the hospital and say I was scared by a frog."

Seventh place

Man: "It's raining heavily today."

Woman: "Yes."

Man: "That's because God is drooling over you."

Woman: "So that gust of wind just now was given to you by God?"

No.8

Man: "Trust me … I will make you the second happiest person in the world!" " "

Woman: "Why not be the first one ..." (pretending to be cute)

Man: "With you … I am the happiest person!" " "(shallow smile)

Woman: "I think I will soon be the happiest person in the world." (daydreaming)

Man: "Why?" (doubt)

Woman: "Because I'm going to dump you."

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