Humorous self-introduction

Humorous self-introduction article 1 I am plain, so I won't elaborate here. I deeply feel my kindness, so I firmly believe that good people are rewarded. Because of my unintentional charity, I have won many friends. I feel that this is a gift from heaven, but occasionally I feel heartless, especially when I see beggars with sound limbs and strong bodies, I try to pretend not to see them. As a boy, I am very proud, very proud, and I have gone too far. Maybe I'm thick-skinned, so I'm proud. I can't let my face get a little hurt.

Humorous self-introduction 2 ● I am a man, but I am not a woman. XX years old, XX meters high-wearing shoes, temporarily unmarried. The key undergraduate course-not accepted, ordinary undergraduate course-is a little short, so we can only mix a specialty. However, my performance is still brilliant-I was a monitor in primary school, but now I am a white-collar worker-I wear a white shirt and work in a multinational company-I clean the table in a chicken, although I clean the table, but the treatment is good-I can get a full 800 yuan if I don't arrive late or leave early). I have a house-I have to pay rent every month, and I have a car-an environmentally friendly non-motor vehicle. I want to find a slim, beautiful, gentle, lovely, sensible, talented and capable wife, such as Bill Gates' youngest daughter and Buffett's granddaughter. What's that guy laughing at? I know you want to fart, don't you just want to say that I am a swan and want to eat clams-frogs? What happened? We are too kind! Donate all your kindness. Wow! Who else has banana skins? I'd better not talk about it. Besides, if the brick comes, you have to shoot me! Thank you!

Humorous self-introduction Article 3 There is a person who is well-proportioned, handsome, exceptionally knowledgeable and well-informed. A man of great talent is educated, learned and knowledgeable. There is another kind of person, eloquent, concise and insightful, who can always see through autumn, spare no effort to turn the tide, give his life to death and be selfless. There is also a man with martial arts, which is unparalleled in hidden weapons's first spell. So he is extraordinary, and he is immortal and holy. Every move. Do you know what they all look like? Look at me. Look at me. Do I look like that to you?

Humor self-introduction article 4 ● I am male, that is, not female. XX years old, XX meters high-wearing shoes, temporarily unmarried. The key undergraduate course-not accepted, ordinary undergraduate course-is a little short, so we can only mix a specialty. However, my performance is still brilliant-I was a monitor in primary school and now I am a white-collar worker-I wear a white shirt and work in a multinational company-I clean the table in a chicken, but the salary is not bad-I can get a full 800 yuan if I don't arrive late or leave early). I have a house-I have to pay rent every month, a car-an environmentally friendly non-motor vehicle, and a passbook. Now I want to find a slim, beautiful, gentle, lovely, sensible, talented and capable wife, such as Bill Gates' youngest daughter and Buffett's granddaughter. What's that guy laughing at? I know you want to fart, don't you just want to say that I am a swan and want to eat clams-frogs? What happened? We are too kind! Donate all your kindness. Wow! Who else has banana skins? I'd better not talk about it. Besides, if the brick comes, you have to shoot me! Thank you! Funny self-introduction 2:

I keep a low profile. When have you ever heard me talk about my past brilliant deeds?

I am the most honest person and have never told a lie-except this time.

You all know my gender, my name, my age, my hobbies, needless to say, my specialty, eating! Funny self-introduction 3:

Today is my first day in primary school, and I am very happy. My name is Li Xiaoniu, my father is Li, and I live in the village. There are two buildings, three cars, four game machines and five televisions in my home. I have two mothers, one sleeps with me and the other sleeps with my father. Whoever is my good friend, I'll treat him to the new Kende duck in the county.

My father's surname is Hu and my mother's surname is Tu, so my name is Hu, but I'm not confused at all.

My father's surname is Qiu and my mother's surname is Yin, so I don't need to introduce my name. Funny self-introduction 4:

My name is Chen, and I am a famous fish. Because I was so ugly, I once looked up and scared all the swallows in the sky, so I got a nickname, Luo Yan.

My name is Wu Dashan, a chef, and I cook in Rourou Hotel. If you want to find me, just shout "Chef Wu Dashan" at Rourou Hotel and I'll come out.

My last name is Chen. I'm a baker. I don't know why, but recently everyone mistakenly thinks I'm a photographer. Funny self-introduction five:

My name is Wei Baba, I'm one meter eight, twenty-eight, my gender is not thirty-eight, and my annual salary is forty-eight thousand. The foundation of my house is being stripped, and I need to support my father. I wonder who will marry?

My name is Li You, and I like to rob oil. I drank in the hotel and left when I was drunk.

My name is Madahao. I have mung bean eyes, a flat nose and a big mouth. My horse has a lot of sexy pockmarked faces. I am good at boxing, taekwondo, martial arts, karate, Xiao Li throwing knives and fighting dragons with eighteen hands? I know who is handsome in today's game. I won all the championships, but this is what I need. Look at the handsome guy post, that is to say, what about you? Do you think you are handsome or I am handsome? A speech, also known as a speech, is a manuscript that expresses one's views, opinions and opinions at meetings or other public occasions. The quality of the speech directly determines the success or failure of the speech. The speech is as clear and logical as the argumentative paper, but it is not an ordinary argumentative paper. This is a practical style with propaganda and incitement. It often uses various rhetoric and artistic techniques, and has a strong appeal. Speeches are not often used. Many famous speeches are improvised and handed down by others through records. However, for important speeches, it is best to prepare speeches in advance, because speeches have at least two functions: First, through careful thinking and careful organization of materials, the contents of speeches are more profound and coherent. Secondly, it can help the speaker eliminate the tension and fear on the spot and enhance the speaker's self-confidence. The characteristics of speech are mainly different from speech, performance and composition. First of all, speech is a social activity in which the speaker expresses his views directly to the audience through oral language on certain occasions on some meaningful things or problems that people are generally concerned about. Secondly, the composition is that the author outputs information to the readers unilaterally through the article, while the speech is that the speaker exchanges information with the audience in two directions on the spot. Strictly speaking, a speech is a triangular information exchange between the speaker and the audience, and between the audience and the audience. The speaker can't be satisfied with conveying his thoughts, feelings and emotions, but must be able to control the reaction and communication between himself and the audience and between the audience.

Therefore, the manuscript prepared for the speech has the following three characteristics:

The main feature is to be targeted first.

Speech is a social activity and a form of publicity used in public places. In order to explain the audience, impress the audience and "conquer" the masses with thoughts, feelings, examples and theories, it must be realistic and targeted. The so-called pertinence, first of all, is that the questions raised by the author are the concerns of the audience, and comments and arguments must have eloquent logical power, be accepted and convinced by the audience, in order to produce the social effects they deserve; Secondly, it is necessary to understand that the audience has different audiences, different levels, and different types of "public places", such as parties, professional meetings, service clubs, schools, social organizations, religious groups, and various competition occasions. When writing, we should design different speech contents for the audience according to different occasions and different objects.

Second, it can be said. The essence of speech lies in "speaking" rather than "doing", with "speaking" as the main part and "doing" as the supplement. Because the speech has to be spoken orally, it must be based on the premise of good presentation. If some articles and works are mainly for reading and appreciating, but for appreciating the meaning and charm, then the requirement of the speech is "catchy". A good speech is very important to the speaker; It should be nice to the listener. Therefore, after the speech is written, the author had better check it by trial or meditation. Anything you can't say clearly or hear clearly (such as the sentence is too long) should be revised and adjusted.

Third, it is inspiring. Speech is an art, and a good speech has its own agitation, which can stimulate the mood of the audience and win good feelings. To achieve this, we must first rely on the richness and profundity of the ideological content of the speech, the incisiveness, originality and thought-provoking of the viewpoint, and the vivid, vivid and infectious language expression. If the speech is bland and uninspired, the effect will not be good, or even counterproductive, even if you "hit" hard on the spot.

Fourth, honesty. The speech draft cannot complete the speech task independently, it is only the written basis of the speech and an integral part of the whole speech activity. The subject, audience and specific time and space conditions of the speech are isomorphic, which constitutes the whole speech activity. When writing a speech, don't be divorced from the whole.

Therefore, the following aspects should be paid attention to in the writing of speeches:

First of all, according to the audience's cultural level, nature of work, living environment, taste, hobbies and wishes, we should establish topics and choose ways of expression in order to communicate better. Secondly, the speech should not only fully reflect the unique and profound views and opinions of the speaker, but also design and annotate the use of tone, speech speed and body language to achieve the best communication effect. In addition, we should also consider the time, space and atmosphere of the speech to strengthen the live effect of the speech.

Fifth, spoken English. Pragmatics is an important aspect that distinguishes speeches from other written articles and conference documents. Needless to say, written articles, other meeting documents, such as meeting work reports and leaders' speeches, don't pay much attention to oral English. Although it is read on the stage by a certain leader, the audience usually has a printed speech, and there is nothing they can't understand while listening to the lecture. Speech is different. It is so impromptu that it is impossible to print out the speech in advance and send it to the audience. Therefore, the speech must pay attention to "catchy" and "catchy". The so-called catchy, is to speak fluently. The so-called ear means that it sounds smooth, there is no language barrier, and there will be no misinterpretation.

Specifically, we should: change long sentences into short sentences suitable for listening; Change the inverted sentence into a normal sentence; Change or delete words and idioms you don't understand in classical Chinese; Turn monosyllabic words into disyllabic words; Change uncommon words into common words; Change words that are easily misunderstood into words that are not easily misunderstood. Only in this way can it be catchy and sound clear. Sixth, the live speech activity is a face-to-face communication between the speaker and the audience. The audience will respond to the content of the speech in time: either agree or disagree, or be interested or indifferent. The speaker can't ignore the various reactions of the audience. Therefore, when writing a speech, we should fully consider its existence and pay attention to leaving room for expansion and contraction on the premise of ensuring the integrity of the content. We should give full consideration to all kinds of problems that may arise during the speech and the countermeasures to deal with all kinds of situations. In short, the speech should be flexible and reflect the necessary field control skills.

The main function is first, "making people know" remarks. This is a speech, whose main function is to convey information and clarify things. Its purpose is to make people know and understand. For example, the aesthetician Zhu Guangqian's speech "On Writing" talked about the preparation before writing, the genre, conception and material selection of the article, which made the audience understand the basic knowledge of writing. It is characterized by strong knowledge and accurate language.

Second, a "convincing" speech. The main purpose of this kind of speech is to make people trust and believe. It developed from the "let people know" speech. For example, Yun's speech "How to Be a Good Man" not only tells people who are not good people, but also puts forward three standards to measure good people. Through a series of rational discussions, people's old ideas have been changed. Its characteristics are unique and correct views, detailed and conclusive arguments, and reasonable and rigorous arguments.

Third, an "exciting" speech. This kind of speech is intended to excite the audience, resonate with you in thoughts and feelings, and cheer for joy. For example, Martin Luther King, the leader of the American black movement, used several of his "dreams" in his speech in front of the Lincoln Memorial to stimulate the self-esteem and self-improvement of the majority of black audiences and inspire them to fight for "being born equal".

Fourth, "touching" speech. This is a step further than an "exciting" speech, which can give the audience an idea of acting with the speaker. Former French President Charles de Gaulle's speech "A Letter to the French People" in London during World War II called on the French people to take action and join the ranks of anti-fascism. It is characterized by strong incitement and often ends in a language of call and appeal.

Fifth, the speech of "making people happy". This is a speech, whose main function is to enliven the atmosphere, adjust the mood and make people happy. Mostly humor, jokes or teasing, usually appearing on festive occasions. There are many examples of such remarks, and people can hear them. It is characterized by material humor and language humor.