Funny love sentences

1: Half of life is unlucky, the other half is how to deal with unlucky.

2: It is better to live a beautiful life than to look beautiful!

3: The one riding the white horse is not necessarily a prince, but may be Tang Monk; the one with wings is not necessarily an angel, sometimes it is a birdman.

4: Wife: Please! For my sake, never drink again! Husband: What nonsense! I don't drink just for you.

5: The more deeply loved a husband is by his wife, the more mature he is, while the more pampered a wife is, the more immature she is.

6: Humor is when a person wants to cry but still has the interest to laugh!

7: There is love first and then sex. The other is nobler.

8: I allow you to enter my world, but I will never allow you to walk around in it.

9: Don’t be angry if your wife hits you, spanking is a kiss. Don't get angry if your wife calls you a pig, scolding is love. The wife beats and scolds her, all because of love.

10: If you see a shadow in front of you, don’t be afraid, it’s because there is sunshine behind you!

11: You never know when someone will say goodbye to you inadvertently and then never see you again.

12: You can have love and sex without getting married, just like you can have the four seasons of spring, summer, autumn and winter without bearing fruits. However, if you don’t get married, you won’t be able to get a welfare house.

13: The temperature of love is like bath water. It’s not that the hotter the better, it’s that you feel comfortable.

14: When in love, be like a grandson, obedient; after engagement, be like a son, learn to talk back; after marriage, be like Lao Tzu, giving orders.

15: Those who compliment each other are officials, those who look down on each other are artists, and those who do not tell the truth when meeting are business people.

16: Good men make women understand the world, while bad men make women misunderstand the world.

17: A man’s biggest secret is often told to his confidante, not the same sex, his family or his wife. When a confidante becomes a wife, this part of her power is immediately revoked. This is called gain and loss.

18: A man’s promise is like the teeth of an old lady aged seventy or eighty, rarely true.

19: Beautiful women have many love stories, but less beautiful women have heard more love stories.

20: Say love out loud, because you never know which one will come first, tomorrow or the accident! Humorous and Funny Sentences about Love

Humorous and Funny Sentences about Love

1. Five hundred years ago, you were a long-term worker in our family. That day I peeped at you chopping wood from the window. posture, I fell in love with you, don’t blame me for not telling you at that time! Because there were no short messages back then!

2. The wife must follow her when she goes out, obey the wife’s orders, and blindly follow the wife when she is wrong; the wife must wait to put on makeup, remember the wife’s birthday, be willing to spend money, and endure the beatings and scoldings of the wife.

3. Dear user, hello, this is a network test. If there is no signal on your mobile phone, please throw your mobile phone to the ground as hard as you can until there is a signal. Thank you for your cooperation and goodbye

4. A man raising a woman outside is called "hidden beauty in a golden house". A woman raising a man outside is called "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon".

5. An unmarried woman sighed: Why do all good men become other people’s husbands? Someone reminded her: Wives train good husbands by themselves, and no man can be self-taught.

6. Stupid man, stupid woman = marriage; stupid man, smart woman = divorce; smart man, stupid woman = extramarital affair; smart man, smart woman = romantic love; us?

7. You are the sun in the sky, and I am the mountain on the earth; you are the moon in the sky, and I am the ocean on the earth; you are the crow flying in the sky, and I am the earthly dog ??chasing after you. Chasing...

8. A first-class man has a family outside his home; a second-class man has flowers outside his home; a third-class man looks for a home among flowers; a fourth-class man has his family home from get off work; a fifth-class man has his wife not at home. ;Sixth-class men have no wives and no homes.

9 One kiss gives you roses m. Two kisses give you my home mm. Three kisses go to Java for honeymoon mmm. I am a big fool for love. I will never change my love for you! ! ! mmm

10. You, you, you little goblin, I have been poisoned by your love but you still refuse to give me the antidote! You little villain! oh! I'm dying! Help me! The solution is simple: give me your love!

11. You are handsome, you are handsome, you are the most handsome in the world. You have a nest of cabbage on your head, a sack on your body, and a piece of kelp around your waist. You think you are the Invincible of the East, but in fact you are the second declining god. generation.

12. The rooster and the hen are husband and wife, and they are busy hatching chicks all day long. The chick has a mental problem and does not eat, drink or rest. The rooster and hen are anxious and hide aside to watch the chicks. They are stupid. The chick didn't pay attention and was secretly looking at the phone.

13. Sister, I love you just like a mouse loves rice. I miss you every time I hear it. I fall in love with you at first sight. I pursue you without saying a word. I come to you again and again. I will definitely I want to chase you...

14. Being single is understanding, falling in love is a mistake, breaking up is awareness, getting married is a mistake, divorce is awakening, remarriage is stubbornness, not having a lover is a waste, and having too many lovers is an animal.

15. Baby, baby, I love you, just like a mouse loves rice. You are the phoenix in the sky flying and flying, and I am the jackal on the ground chasing and chasing you. I will neither beat you nor scold you. I will use Emotions torture you.

16. Buddha said: Looking back five hundred times in the past life is the only exchange for passing by in this life. If it is true, I would trade ten thousand times to meet you and be able to tell you: "I really want to love you."

17. You are the wind and I am the sand, you are the leather shoes and I am the brush. If you ignore me, I will commit suicide.

18. Loving someone means that when you dial the phone, you suddenly don’t know what to say. It turns out that you just want to hear that familiar voice. It turns out that what you really want to unplug is just a string in your heart

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19 There was a farmer who raised a group of pigs. One day, he found that one pig was missing. He asked the other pigs where the pig was. Other pigs said: This pig is reading text messages on the mobile phone in the corner!

20. Fish says to water: You can’t see my tears because I am in the water. Water said: I can feel your tears, because you are in my heart

21. When you go out, your wife has told you not to sit in the first row of a car. You can’t stand up if you can’t pick up the food. Don’t let your stomach hurt when you drink. If you're drunk, don't pick wild flowers on the roadside, and don't bring lovers into the house

22. I miss you so much, husband, do you have it? I love you just like drinking boiled water, eating, just like breathing as naturally, sleepless, gentle and gentle, so I will love you forever.

24. There are thousands of Chinese people, if this doesn’t work, let’s change it.

25. Mud is a nest with a short mouth! Mud is the dreamland of the nest! Wo looked at Mu sadly! Wo wants to say to Ni, Wo is short of Ni! (Please read aloud in rising and falling tones)

26. Brands and sex: Twenty-year-old men gallop, thirty-year-old men Hitachi forty-year-old men. Upright! Fifty-year-old men Microsoft !Sixty-year-old man Panasonic! Seventy-year-old association!

27. Holding your hand is like holding a dog and touching your head is like touching a monkey and hugging you. The waist is like holding a cat

28. No matter how big a woman's matter is, it is a trivial matter, and no matter how small a brother's matter is, it is still a big matter. It’s not like eating in one place for a lifetime, but eating wherever you go.

29. Discharge on Monday. Tuesday, hold hands. Wednesday, "First Kiss." Thursday, love. Friday, Beautiful Lies. Saturday, romantic "kiss goodbye." Sunday, rotation.

30. I wish you: a high position but little responsibility, plenty of money and little to do, close to home, sleeping until dawn every day, cramps in your hands when you receive your salary, receiving gifts when your subordinates spend money, and getting a raise for others who work overtime. !

31. Girl, Girl, I love you, just like a mouse loves rice. You are my bread when I am hungry, you are the fruit knife when I commit suicide, you are my heart, you are my liver, You are three quarters of my life!

32. Hope: The leader will follow you, the car will let you go, the money will stick to you, the court will favor you, the official career will be with you, the school will take care of you, the real estate will be whatever you want, and your lover will love you!

33. First-class smokers in Greater China can do whatever they want. A second-class smoker with three to five wives is hard to estimate. The third-class smoker Hongshuangxi eats, drinks, sleeps on his own. No one knows how hard a fourth-class smoker rolls shredded cigarettes

34. My dear, you always say that I like to brag, so please listen to me: "For you, I would go to the nine heavens to embrace the moon, but Go to the five oceans to catch turtles! "Because: the "moon" is you, and the "turtle" is also you!

35. Husband, I sleep in Guangdong during the day and relax at night. As long as I figure it out, I will become a rich man. If I can’t figure it out, I will lose both my life and my wealth. Husband, don’t come to Guangdong. When you go to Guangdong, I won’t be relaxed and can’t relax. I will be empty-handed

36. You are an ugly duckling in my pond, you are a silly crow in my old tree, you are telling the truth when I am drunk, oh----why are you laughing secretly?

37 I am a vine and you are a melon, I am a fish and you are a shrimp, I am a pot and you are a flower, I will make you laugh every day, haha!

38. I think of your smile when I get up, smell your scent when I wash my face, and you are what I need before going to bed. I really can't leave you, my dear - toilet!

39. Me! Like a dragon in the sky, you! Like a phoenix on the ground, I fly and fly in the sky, and you chase and chase you on the ground. I love you, I won’t lie to you, just like farmers love corn.

40. I am your ice cream in summer, your cotton-padded jacket in winter, your light bulb in the dark, and your bread when you are hungry! I really want to say "I love you" to you!!

41 You are the phoenix in the sky, I am the hungry wolf underground, you are the crow in the sky, I am the toad underground, you fly in the sky Come on, I'm drooling after chasing you underground...

42. I have an unknown poem. No one knows it all over the world. Only a fool and I know it. The fool is reading this Poetry

43 When I love you, you are a beauty; when I hate you, you are a zombie!

44. The first time I went to see you, your mother hit me, hitting me hard and covering the pot! The second time I went to see you, your father beat me with a cigarette pack! Oops, that sweetheart!

45. Judge: "You are about to be shot. What is your last wish?" Prisoner: "Put on a bulletproof vest!" Funny and humorous love sentences (70)

1 , I will pick you up when I open the cafe.

2. When I miss you, I must find you.

3. I heard that getting married is very cheap. The Civil Affairs Bureau can get it done for 9 yuan. Let me treat you!

4. If you have no objection, we will get the certificate tomorrow.

5. I will accompany you to interview and record the recording for you, so stay with me.

6. I heard that getting married is very cheap now. Come on, let’s get married. I treat you!

7. I just like you, I just love you, it’s none of your business.

8. I think you are really not a qualified friend. You should change your profession and be my wife!

9. Listen, I allow you to like me. We have no other choice but to grow old together.

10. Do you know, in fact, the first time I held hands with you, I decided to be your bride and forever lover in this life.

11. Don’t cry, even you are mine, let alone tears.

12. If you don’t even have the courage to pursue the things and people you like, you are destined to be a loser.

13. All good things in the world should belong to me, including you.

14. As long as you want it, as long as I have it, what are you doing outside? Just stay by my side.

15. No one of you is allowed to bully her, only I can!

16. Girl, your heart has gone to the Pacific Ocean. Do you want to keep a man who is worse than a beast to feed the dogs? Just throw it away. Some people will pick it up if they want, and they will do it cheaply if they want.

17. My heart has been set aside for you, why do you still care about me?

18. I think you are really not a qualified friend. You should change your profession and become my husband!

19. If you can’t protect yourself, then let me protect you!

Twenty, just wait, one day you will be my son’s mother!

21. When you want to get married, just tell me and I will marry you.

Twenty-two, you are my girlfriend from today on!

23. As long as your feet are still on the ground, don’t take yourself too lightly; as long as you are still living on the earth, don’t take yourself too seriously.

24. Take care of yourself if you can, otherwise just let me take care of you.

Twenty-five, if you dare to refuse me, I will immediately ask you to come to me on your own after ten months (it can be a season).

Twenty-six, if you have the guts, you will live with me for the rest of your life!

27. You have no idea how much I like you.

28. I am a girl who wants money but not money, culture but not culture, face but not face, and figure but not figure.

Twenty-nine, you clean the house for me, and I will clean the world for you!

30. What are rumors? Rumors are the comments of an important person being repeated repeatedly by a group of idiots.

Thirty-one, if you cry again, I will go home and kneel on the washboard.

32. I will not let those who hold me up fall down, and those who knock me down I will not let them stand up until their death.

33. In the future, I will put a large water tank at home and plant lotus flowers.

Thirty-four. No one in this world is qualified to be by your side except me.

Thirty-five, I will eat, drink, and wear yours, but I will never steal your man. I am willing to go shopping with you and chat with you during my holidays.

Thirty-six, I just like you, I just love you, it’s none of your business!

Thirty-seven. My dear, if you fall in love with someone else, please remember to tell him, then slap him hard, and tell him loudly "It's impossible for us."

Thirty-eight, the best things in the world should belong to me, including you!

Thirty-nine, if you look at me again, I will eat you! Don't move, I'll take a bite.

Forty. If you try hard to plot against me, I’m sorry, you will see a ruthless, insidious and poisonous bitch.

41. Just stand there and don’t move! Wait for me to run over!

42. If you have the ability, take care of yourself, otherwise just let me take care of you!

Forty-three, the rain stopped. It's sunny. Woman, please clean the house slowly. I will sweep the world for you.

44. The story of Snow White tells us that even if seven losers treat her well, they can’t compare to a kiss from a rich, handsome man.

45. Angels cannot fly without their wings. If I lose you, it means that angels have no wings!

46. Don’t tell me what to do if you don’t have a lover on Valentine’s Day. If no one is killed at home during Qingming Festival, will a few be killed?

47. There are always some people around you who are attentive when they use you, and are indifferent when you are not needed.

Forty-eight, look at me, a big old man, always tying your hair!

Forty-nine, should we try it together?

Fifty, just stand there and don’t move, I’ll run over!

51. I want to kiss you at any time, and I also want to hear your heartbeat.

52. Be kind to yourself, because life is short, and be kind to the people around you, because you may not be able to meet them in the next life.

Fifty-three, the rose is yours; the chocolate is yours; the diamond ring is yours; you are mine.

54. It’s hard to agree with everyone. I can’t make everyone like me. After all, not everyone is human.

55. When you want to cry, find a place where no one is and cry. After crying, don’t forget to put the original smile on your face.

56. In this era, a dear is, at best, just a hello. Don't be so moved that you feel like you're going to heaven.

57. If loving you is a mistake, I am willing to make it a mistake.

Fifty-eight, meeting you is like the bells all over the world ringing together, and the flowers all over the world blooming together!

Fifty-nine, girl, you must live like a man, otherwise you will be sorry for the dog who is watching the joke behind your back.

Sixty. If it were a movie, I would kiss you now.

Sixty-one, a lifetime is so long, why wait a few years for you?

Sixty-two, you are fine, I will take care of you if you need anything.

Sixty-three, dear! Build a siege! Surround me! I don't want to continue drifting!

Sixty-four, the innate domineering and strong possessiveness tell me: I must be the king. So when we fell together, I was the one calling the shots.

Sixty-five, give up on you for the next life!

66. I hope you will be buried in my ancestral grave after your death.

Sixty-seven. As a man, it is most manly to protect the people you want to protect.

Sixty-eight, follow me, and one day your name will appear in my household registration book.

Sixty-nine, I really admire those who have always looked down upon me and persisted until now. The most interesting thing is that some people who are called friends have given up halfway, but they have persisted until now.

Seventy. I want to have a home, a home for the two of us. Funny and humorous sentences

Selection of funny and humorous sentences

1) Although Iijima Ai is dead, she will always live in my C drive, D drive, E drive, F drive and removable disk

2) I don’t know whose wife is on my bed, and I don’t know whose bed my wife is on!

3) Happiness means scratching an itch when you feel itchy, while misfortune means being itchy but not being able to scratch it. What’s even more unfortunate is that for a long time neither the soul nor the body can feel the itch that’s about to itch.

4) I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am in front of you!

5) An iron pestle can be ground into a needle, but a wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. If the material is wrong, no matter how hard you try, it will be useless.

6) Being handsome is useless! In the end, he wasn’t eaten by pawns!

7) Behind every successful man there is a woman who tormented him

8) Regarding thongs: In the past, you took off your underwear to look at your butt; now, you pull off your butt to look at your underwear

9) Fuck love!

10) Carnival is the loneliness of a group of people

Collection of funny and humorous sentences

1) Be a person who wanders between cow A and cow C.

2) Will it hurt if you bleed?

3) People who do not have medical insurance or life insurance should not act bravely after dark

4) Don’t always use your identity as a common person to tell me the story of society B! No matter how awesome you are, why can’t Baidu search for you? No matter how strong you are, can you hold your urine?

5) Century, what is most important to me!

6) It is gold, it will always be spent; it is a mirror, it will always reflect light

7) Shout loudly: My disease is finally cured!

8) I am a kind-hearted person. I would chant sutras and chant Buddhist scriptures even after I trample an ant to death. I would transcend the souls of the dead and build graves for them. I am even more afraid of being single and lonely after death, so I Trampling dozens of ants to death to keep him company is a great effort.

9) Men pretend to understand when they don’t understand, but women do the opposite.

10) If Taiwan is not recovered for a day, I will not be upgraded for a day!

11) The beauty of life comes from your love for life; the innocence of friendship comes from your sincere treatment of your friends.

12) The prerequisite for a person to be lucky is actually his ability to change himself.

13) When the sauce package of instant noodles changes from liquid to solid, the otaku will know that summer is gone

14) Even if the sky does not give me a big responsibility, I will still suffer. I use my mind and my muscles.

15) A wonderful message for a man who goes to work overtime on the weekend: Woman, take your time cleaning the house at home, while I go out and clean the sky for you.

16) Failure is not terrible, the key is to see whether the failure is the mother of success.

17) You are very creative, and living is your courage. Being ugly is not your original intention, it is just God getting angry. You have to live bravely to bring out the beauty of the world.

18) Cherish every encounter, remember every happiness, care about every separation, enjoy every romance, bless every love, and hope that all lovers in the world will eventually get married.

19) You have one second to tap the acupuncture points, and I will spend my whole life tapping the acupuncture points.

20) When pain comes, don’t always ask: Why is it me? Because you didn't ask this question when happiness came.

21) Who doesn’t have to wait for me to make a comeback?

22) Don’t speak English in front of me in the future, okay?

23) Grandpas are descended from grandsons

24) The only difference between me and Superman is that I wear underwear inside!

25) Love is like sand in your hand. The tighter you hold it, the faster it drains.

26) Because of the loneliness, I fell in love several times. Who would have thought that after repeated defeats, he would be easily kicked!

27) They said I was BT and asked me to have a CT scan, but it turned out I was ET.

28) Everyone says that I am an actor because my eyes widen when I see a pretty girl.

29) How nice it would be for your parents to use that minute to take a walk!

30) Boys must be poor, otherwise they will not know how to struggle; girls must be rich, otherwise they will be kidnapped with a few flowers.

31) Lie down wherever you fall

32) I will kill your lover no matter what I do

33) For old people who like to talk about how they used to be For such a person, our boss said: You used to wear crotchless pants, do you still wear them now?

34) God gave us seven emotions and six desires, but we turned them into pornography and violence.

35) Exercise your muscles to avoid getting beaten!

36) Sometimes life is like being raped by a eunuch. Resisting is painful, but not resisting is still painful!

37) The greatest sorrow in life is not that you can’t get or lose anything, but that you don’t know what you want.

38) I really want to call your grandpa: Dad!

39) When problems arise, first look for the cause within yourself. Don’t blame the earth’s lack of gravity for constipation.

40) If being handsome can be eaten, then my handsomeness can feed hundreds of millions of people.