Give me 20 bad jokes

1 There was a jar of wine buried underground for a thousand years. What did it become? Answer: Alcohol 2 There was a pig. It walked and walked until it reached England. In the end, it became What? Answer: Pig 3. The teacher did a spot check on memorizing the text in class. Piglets, puppies, and kittens all raised their hands. Who will the teacher call? Answer: Puppy, because Wangwang Senbei 4 Butterfly, ant, spider, centipede, they are together. Work, which one did not get paid in the end? Answer: Centipede, because no work was done. 5 The elephant in the zoo has the longest trunk, so who is the second longest? Answer: Baby elephant 6 Which fruit has the worst eyesight? ? Answer: Mango 7 Which two vegetables have mobile phones? Answer: Turnip greens, each with Sony Ericsson 8 A turtle walked across a pile of poop, but only left 3 footprints on it. Why? Answer: There is a foot holding the nose. 9 Why do people go to bed to sleep? Answer: The bed will not come by itself. 10 It turns out that there are actually 800 Spartan warriors. Why did it become 300 in the movie? Answer: Wu Bai went to sing. 11 Why can Xiaoqiang stop the car with one hand? Answer: Taxi 12 If there is a car, the driver is a prince and the passenger is a princess, whose car does it belong to? Answer: If 13 Metal, wood, water, fire and earth, who has the longer legs? Answer: Ham sausage 1 Who in the world grows old all of a sudden? Answer: Bride. Because today she is the bride and tomorrow she will be the wife. 2 How much is a heart worth? Answer: 100 million. Because she is single-minded! 3 How much do you need to bring with you in typhoon weather? Do you need money to go out? Answer: 40 million. Because of the typhoon weather, don’t go out unless you have something to do. 4 It’s time to take the exam, what books can’t you read? Answer: Encyclopedia (lose all encyclopedias). 5 If the end of the world is tomorrow, why? Someone wants to commit suicide today? [Answer] Go to heaven and take a place 6 Question: What are you afraid of cloth and paper? Answer: Cloth is afraid of ten thousand, paper is afraid of nothing. Reason: Don’t be afraid of ten thousand (cloth), just be afraid of something unexpected (paper). 7 Question: What is the last name of Pencil? Answer: Xiao Reason: Sharpen (Xiao) pencil. 8 Question: What will the unicorn become when it reaches the North Pole? Answer: ice cream. Reason: ice cream (Ice Kirin). 9 Question: Which number from 1 to 9 is the most diligent and which number is the laziest? Answer: 1. Lazy; 2. Hardworking. Reasons: One (1) does not do it, two (2) does not stop. 10 Question: How to make a sparrow quiet? Answer: Press it. Reason: total silence (overwhelming silence).

11 Question: Who is the fastest runner in history? Answer: Cao Cao Reason: Said Cao Cao Cao Cao to 12 Question: Which number from 30 to 50 is more powerful than a bear’s poop! Answer: 40 Reason: Facts speak louder than the male (bear) argument 13 Question : What should you do if a pig escapes from the pigsty? Answer: Leehom Wang Reason: coaxing in 14 Question: What should I do if it comes out again? Answer: Han Hong Reason: Still coaxing 15 September 28 is the birthday of Confucius, so what day is October 28? Answer: Confucius Full Moon 16 The wolf is coming (guess the fruit)? Answer: Star Tao (Sheep Flee) 17 What would the world be like if Mr. Jiang (Chiang Kai-shek) was still alive? Answer: One more person... 18 There are carps under these two pieces of ice (four-character idiom)? Answer: Polite (there are carps on the ice) 19 Why can tofu hurt people? Answer: Because it is frozen tofu 20 A passenger car An accident happened and everyone was injured. Why was Xiao Ming okay? Answer: Because he is not in the car. 21 There is a place that can be entered or exited. What is it? Answer: Grave 22 Chicken and goose run a 100-meter race. The chicken runs faster than the goose. Why does it arrive at the finish line later? Answer: Chicken Run Wrong direction 23 The class bell rang, but no classmates were in the classroom. What's going on? Answer: She was in physical education class 24. Lingling had never learned arithmetic, but the teacher praised her for being one of the best in mathematics. Why? Answer: Counting from one to two. 25 What did Columbus do next after he stepped into the New World? Answer: : Step on the other foot 26 Some people say that eating fish can prevent myopia. Why? Answer: Have you ever seen a cat wearing eyes? 27 What has no tongue in its mouth? Answer: Teapot spout 28 What kind of official can't give orders but still has to smile at others all the time? Answer: Xinlangguan 29 A policeman ran away when he saw a thief. Why? Answer: I want to catch the thief quickly. 30 Xiaoming eats chewing gum every day, but others still say he has bad breath. Why? Answer: He swears every day. 31 Why can frogs jump higher than trees? Answer: Because trees cannot jump 32 "You stand with a pig", guess an animal Answer: Elephant (like) 33 Lao Wang shaves forty or fifty times a day, but he still has a beard on his face. What is the reason? Answer: Lao Wang is a barber 34 What flowers cannot be touched Answer: Sparks 35 What can be used to solve all the mysteries? Answer: Answer 3 6 When will the clock in Times Square ring 13 times? Answer: It’s time to repair 37 In ancient times, who became a father-in-law before becoming a father? Answer: Eunuch 38 When did you never say come in when someone knocked on the door? Answer: When going to the toilet 39 Which is more powerful, the black chicken or the white chicken? Why? Answer: The black chicken is more powerful and can lay white eggs, while the white chicken cannot lay black eggs. 40 Why do everyone like to sit and watch movies? Answer: Because standing and watching will make your feet sore. 41 What will be the impact of abolishing morning self-study? Answer: Sleep less for half an hour. 42 Let the tortoise and the hare race, and let the pig be the referee. Who will win? Answer: Can’t say! The person who said it was a pig... 43 How similar are the words of two women to those of a thousand ducks? Answer: Nonsense (chicken) talk 44 A farmer has a pig and a donkey at home. During the Chinese New Year, do you think the farmer should kill the pig or the donkey first? Answer: Would you rather kill a pig (silly pig) or a donkey (silly donkey)? 45 Why doesn't the plane hit the stars even if it flies so high? Answer: Because the stars will "flash" 46 One day, he was walking on the street with a medium-rare steak. Suddenly he saw a medium-rare steak in front of him, but he ignored him.

Why didn't they say hello? Answer: Because they are not familiar with 1 Who is the King of Beasts? ●Zoo Director 2 What kind of person will appear after death? ●People in the movie 3 What hats cannot be worn?●Nut hats 4 What books can’t be bought in bookstores?●Suicide note 5 What does the elephant’s left ear look like? ●Right ear 6 What water can never be used up? ●Tears 7 What has five heads, but people don’t think it is strange? ●Hands and feet 8 The family asked the doctor about the patient’s condition, and the doctor only raised 5 fingers, and the family Crying, why? ●Three long and two short 9 A chicken and a goose are placed on an iceberg at the same time. Why does the chicken die but not the goose? ●A goose is a penguin 10 Which English alphabet makes people like to listen to it and is listened to by the most people?●ＣＤ 11 What is the secret of human longevity? ●Keep breathing, don’t stop breathing 12 The more angry something is, the bigger it will be? ●Temperature 13 What is the flower that blooms all year round? ●Plastic Flower 14 Why does Chang'e like to live on the moon? ●Chang moth likes to eat rabbit meat 15 Where is the narrowest road? ● Enemies meet on a narrow road 16 What is the name of farting before death? ●No sound 17 When someone knocks on the door, you will never say please come in? ●In the toilet 18 What is the smallest island in the world? ●Safety island on the road 19 When the earth explodes, which place is the safest? ●Hell 20 A group of henpecked men are gathering together to discuss how to restore their manly glory. Suddenly they heard that their wives were coming, and everyone ran away, except No one ran away, why? ●I fainted from fear 21 What is in the middle of the Pacific Ocean? ●It is the character ping 22. What character is used all over the world? ●Arabic numeral 23 A child and an adult are walking in the dark night. The child is the adult's son, but the adult is not the child's father. Why? ●Because they have a mother-son relationship. 24 Two pairs of father and son went to buy hats. Why did they only buy three hats? ●Grandpa, dad and son 25 Why can’t the eggs be broken with a hammer? ●Of course the hammer will not break. 26 A man was chased by a tiger. Suddenly there was a big river in front of him. He couldn't swim, but he passed by. Why? ●Fainted 27 The world boxing champion is easily knocked down by what? ●Sleepy 28 There is a four-character idiom about a lady who has been divorced several times? ●The ex-husband (gong) has exhausted his energy (abandoned) 29 What is the worst thing for a person who stutters? ●Making long-distance calls 30. What did Columbus do next after he stepped into the New World? ●Step on the other foot 31 Is "Kiss" a verb, adjective or noun? ●Conjunction 32 The heart transplant operation failed. The doctor asked the patient who was about to die if he had any last words to say. What do you think he would say? ●Actually, you don’t understand my heart 33. Why do men have to fistfight when they drink together? ●If you don’t eat the toast, you will be punished with a drink. 34 If you divide 8 into two halves, how much will it be? ●0 35 When will the sun rise from the west? ●When swearing 36 There is a newborn baby. There are two children born in the same year, month and day, and to the same parents, but they are not twins. Is this possible? ●Maybe, they are triplets 37 What is the first thing everyone should do when they wake up in the morning? ●Open your eyes 38 A new hospital has opened in the city, with advanced equipment and considerate services. But the strange thing is: not a single patient is admitted here. Why is this? ● This is a veterinary hospital 39 In winter, how can we turn ice into water immediately without heating? ●Remove two points from the ice 40 A hungry cat walked past a fat mouse. Why did the hungry old cat remain indifferent and continue walking without even looking at the mouse?●The Blind Cat Encounter Mouse to Death 41 Why does the peacock fly to the southeast instead of the northwest? ●Because there is a high wall in the northwest. 42 A truck driver collided with a motorcyclist. The truck driver was seriously injured, but the motorcyclist was fine. Why? ●The truck driver was not driving at the time. 43 Xiao Ming’s mother has three sons. The eldest only son is called Da Ming, and the second son is called Er Ming. What is the name of the third son? ●Of course my name is Xiao Ming 44 There was a young man who wanted to cross a river to do something; however, there was no boat or bridge in this river.

So he swam across the river in the morning, and he swam to the other side in just an hour. That afternoon, the width and flow rate of the river had not changed. More importantly, his swimming speed had not changed either, but it took him two It took half an hour to swim to the other side of the river. Why do you think it was? ●Two and a half hours add up to one hour. 45 There was a large ship on the sea. Its original capacity was 60 people. As a result, when the 59th person was on board, it actually sank into the sea! Why is this (there are no pregnant or overweight people in the boat; there are no heavy objects on the boat)? ●Don’t be nervous, it’s a submarine 46 What is it that God doesn’t know, but you don’t know and I know? ● The soles of the shoes are broken 47 There are two people, one facing south and one facing north. They are not allowed to look back, move around, or look in the mirror. Can they see each other's face? ●Of course, they are standing face to face. 48 What kind of eggs can’t be beaten, cooked, and even eaten? ●I got zero eggs in the exam "0" 49 Which one is more painful to hit the head with coconut or watermelon? ●Head pain 50 What is the difference between Confucius and Mencius? ●Confucius’ son is on the left. Mencius’ disciple is above 51 What can I borrow without paying it back? ●Borrowing light 52 What is the first animal you see when you enter the zoo? ●Conductor 53 What is something that a magnifying glass cannot magnify? ●Angle 54 What will increase by half when it is inverted? ●6 55 You will destroy it just by calling its name. What is it? ●Silence 56 What often comes but never really comes? ●Tomorrow 57 Xiao Wang and his parents traveled abroad for the first time. Due to the language barrier, his parents seemed at a loss. Xiao Wang did not understand any foreign language. He was not deaf-mute, but he did not feel any inconvenience like in his own country. ,why is that? ●Xiao Wang is a baby 58 How can I write red letters with a blue pen? ●Write the word "red" 59 When the car turns right, which tire does not rotate? ●Spare Tire 60 There is a piece of natural black marble. On September 7th, if you throw it into the Qiantang River, what will happen? ●Sinking to the bottom of the river 61 Under what circumstances does a person become smokey? ●Cremation 62 The vixen is best at bewitching men, so what kind of "spirit" can confuse men and women together?● Alcohol 63 Why would a healthy couple give birth to a baby without eyes?● Chickens lay eggs 64 Why do two tigers fight until they fight to the death? ●No one dares to break up the fight 65 Mr. Lin received an artificial heart after major surgery. After she recovered from the illness, her girlfriend immediately broke up with her. Why did this happen? ● Didn't really love her 66 You can do it, I can do it, everyone can do it; one person can do it, but two people can't do it together.

What is this doing? ●Dream 67 Is the black chicken more powerful or the white chicken more powerful? Why? ●Black chicken, black chicken will lay white eggs, white chicken will not lay black eggs 68 I came home in the middle of the night and found that I forgot to bring the key, and there was no one else at home. What is your biggest wish at this time? ● The door was forgotten 69 What are the benefits of black hair? ●Not afraid of tanning 70 If tomorrow is the end of the world, why do some people want to commit suicide today? ●Go to heaven and get a seat. 71 The manager doesn’t know how to cook, but there is one dish that he is particularly good at. What is it? ●Fired 72 What kind of wine should not be drunk? ●Iodine 73 Why is a bottle of medicine labeled highly toxic but harmless to people? ●As long as you don't drink it 74 What can you hit without spending any effort? ●Doze off 75 There is something that people who buy it know, people who sell it also know it, but only people who use it don’t know, what is it? ●Coffin 76 Some people say that a woman is like a book, so what kind of book does a fat woman look like? ●Bound volume 77 What is the difference between being bitten by a crocodile and being bitten by a shark? ●No one knows 78 A cow walks 10 meters north, then 10 meters west, then 10 meters south, backs up and turns right, where is the cow's tail facing? ● Chao Di 79 "Innate" refers to the inheritance from parents, so what is "nurture"? ●The day after tomorrow 80 What are the main causes of divorce? ●Marriage 81 9 oranges are divided among 13 children. How should they be divided fairly? ●Squeezed into juice 82. How to put a pencil on the ground so that no one can cross it? ●Put it against the wall 83 Why is the Statue of Liberty Like always standing in New York Harbor? ●She can't sit 84 Why can frogs jump higher than trees? ●Trees don’t jump 85 Is there anything in the world that can carry people at a speed of nearly 2,000 kilometers per hour without refueling or other fuel? ●Earth 86 What do you call a beautiful woman who refuses to have children after getting married for fear of losing her figure? ●Peerless Beauty 87 Why do black people like to eat white chocolate? ●Afraid of eating one's own fingers 88 Who never dares to take a bath ● Clay figurine 89 Why are most Buddhists in the Northern Hemisphere? ●Nan "Wu" Amitabha 90 Is it not illegal to steal anything? ●Smirk 91 Do you know where modern scientists are generally born? ●In the hospital 92 Why do the wild geese fly south? ●Because walking is too slow with feet 93 You can eat winter melon, cucumber, watermelon, and pumpkin, but which melon can’t be eaten? ●Fool 94 There are 6 steamed buns in the basin. Each of the 6 children is assigned 1 steamed bun, but there is still 1 steamed bun left in the basin. Why? ●The last child took away the basin together. 95 Lao Wang shaved forty or fifty times a day, but he still had a beard on his face. What is the reason? ●Lao Wang is a barber 96 There is a word that everyone will mispronounce when they see it. What is this word? ●This is the word "wrong" 97 What kind of car is difficult to move? ●Windmill 98 Xiao Ming never studied but got a model student, why ●Xiao Ming is a deaf-mute student 99 How many sides does a box have? ●Two sides. Inside and outside 100 Which month has 28 days? ●Every month has 28 days