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Tell humorous jokes three minutes before class.
Humorous jokes three minutes before class, three minutes before class is very important. We can concentrate students' attention, cultivate students' interest, and make students feel the fun of class, so as to enjoy class. The humorous jokes in the first three minutes of class are as follows.
Humorous jokes 1 1 three minutes before class. Once upon a time, Americans went sightseeing in Russia. One day, I saw two Russian workers on my way to Russia. One is to dig a hole by the roadside with a shovel, and dig a hole every three meters. Another worker immediately backfilled the hole just dug by the previous worker, and so on. ....
Out of curiosity, the American asked the first Russian worker, "Why did the guy behind you fill in the hole as soon as you dug it?" ? 』
Russian workers replied: "We are greening the road. I dig a hole, the second person plants trees, and the third person fills the soil. But the second man didn't come today. 』
2. A man ventured alone in the forest and suddenly found himself surrounded by cannibals. So he shouted to the sky, "I'm dead, God help me!" " "
I saw a voice falling from the sky at the first light: "Not necessarily, you can pick up a big stone on the ground and kill the leader." So he picked up the biggest stone on the ground and threw it at the chief, just killing him. All the people stayed for a while, then glared at each other. At this moment, another voice came from the sky: "Now you are really dead."
3. This is the smell.
Once upon a time, an old man liked to drink soup cooked by his wife. As long as he doesn't drink for a day, he will feel uncomfortable all over. Later, his wife died and he couldn't drink the soup, so he was very sad and began to let his wife cook it.
But no matter how well his daughter-in-law does, he always throws it aside and says, "It's not the smell. You can cook such a terrible soup! " At first, the daughter-in-law always swallowed her words, but as the days passed, she still couldn't do it. Finally, she had a murder plan to kill her father-in-law. But she doesn't know how to do it. She thought and thought, and suddenly found a rusty pesticide in the corner.
She sprayed insecticide into the soup, and then got up the courage to give it to her father-in-law, who shouted, "That's the smell! This is the taste! "
4. School Booking Office: Tickets are particularly tight now. If the train ticket you want is gone, will you obey the adjustment?
Me: Obey.
After getting the ticket the next day, I was very angry: I booked a ticket to Shandong, why did I get a ticket to Shanxi! ! !
School booking office: Didn't you say that you obey the adjustment?
Humorous jokes in the first three minutes of the first class and jokes in the first three minutes of the second class (1)
Jia Congming has five children. One year during the Spring Festival, the husband and wife drank together, which made them feel happy and unconsciously high.
Jia Congming said, "The boss is a little different from me."
His wife touched his forehead with her finger and said, "Are you really stupid or fake stupid? I can't tell you this. I am telling you the truth now, that is, the boss is yours, and the others are others. "
Jia Congming quickly asked, "Whose is it?"
"Handsome neighbor," his wife replied.
"He is a handsome man. How can he sleep with you? " Jia's cleverness seems to be broken.
"I'll give him 200 yuan to sleep for one night." His wife reassured him.
"Where did you get the money?" Jia Congming gets to the bottom of it.
"It's all taken out of your passbook." His wife told the truth.
Jia Congming said frankly: "This is also my child."
Jokes three minutes before class (2)
One afternoon, Aunt Wang went to the vegetable market to buy food and passed a melon stall on the street. A burst of melon fragrance floated into Aunt Wang's nostrils. Aunt Wang stopped to look and saw that melons were all the size of small bowls, with white faces, well-proportioned figures and good appearance. So he asked the melon seller, "How much is this melon?" Master melon waved his hand and said, "When there is a discount, you can choose one for 3 yuan."
Aunt Wang was buried there, picking melons carefully. At this time, a little boy carrying a schoolbag suddenly emerged from behind her and said to her sweetly, "Grandma, this melon is really delicious. Buy more. " The little boy is sensible, clever and clever. Aunt Wang was filled with joy and couldn't help smiling and nodding. "OK, I'll listen to you and buy more." With that, the little boy conveniently picked up a cantaloupe from the melon stall, wiped it with his skirt, swallowed it in one gulp, and skipped away while eating.
Aunt Wang picked 10 cantaloupes and put them in plastic bags, and then handed the melon seller a paper money with 50 yuan face value. The melon seller lowered his head and rummaged in the money bag in front of his stomach for a long time before finding out 10 yuan 1 paper money and some change for her. Aunt Wang wondered why the melon seller didn't just give her two 10 notes, and bowed his head and counted them, not 3 yuan. Aunt Wang said, "Master, you have the wrong change. Don't give me three dollars. " The melon seller said, "There is nothing wrong. 1 1 cantaloupe 33 yuan, 50 yuan, looking for you 17 yuan. I can still calculate this account. " Aunt Wang immediately said, "No,no.". I bought 10, not 1 1. " Aunt Wang also opened the plastic bag for him to see. The melon seller said without looking, "No mistake, didn't your grandson eat another one?"
Aunt Wang opened her eyes wide and said in surprise, "My grandson? I only have one granddaughter. Where can I find my grandson? That little boy is not my grandson. I don't know him at all. I thought he was your grandson selling melons for you! "
Three minutes before class humorous jokes Three minutes before class humorous stories
1, tolerance
A pig, a sheep and a cow are kept in the same corral. Once, the shepherd caught the pig, and it screamed loudly and resisted fiercely. Sheep and cows hate its howling, so he often scratches us and we don't bark. The pig replied: catching you and catching me are two different things. He only wants your hair and milk, but catching me is killing me!
It is difficult for people with different positions and different environments to understand each other's feelings; Therefore, we should not gloat over the setbacks, setbacks and pains of others, but should have a feeling of care and understanding. Have a tolerant heart!
Step 2 independently
The little snail asked his mother: Why do we have to bear this hard and heavy shell when we are born?
Mom: Because our bodies have no bones to support, we can only climb, but we can't climb fast. So we need the protection of this shell!
Snail: Sister Caterpillar has no bones and can't climb fast. Why doesn't she have to carry this hard and heavy shell?
Mom: Because sister caterpillar can become a butterfly, the sky will protect her.
Snail: but brother earthworm can't climb fast without bones, and he won't become a butterfly. Why doesn't he carry this hard and heavy shell?
Mom: Because Brother Earthworm can drill soil, the earth will protect him.
The little snail began to cry: we are so poor that the sky is unprotected and the land is unprotected.
Mother snail comforted him: so we have shells!
We don't rely on the sky, we don't rely on the ground, we rely on ourselves.
3. sharks and fish
Someone once did an experiment, putting the fiercest shark and a group of tropical fish in the same pool, and then separating them with tempered glass. At first, sharks kept hitting the invisible glass every day, but in vain. It can never cross the other side. The experimenter puts some crucian carp in the pool every day, so the shark is not short of prey, but it still wants to try the delicious taste on the other side. It still keeps hitting the glass every day. It tried every corner and tried its best every time, but it was always scarred. Several times, it was bleeding and lasted for several days. Whenever the glass breaks, the experimenter immediately adds thicker glass.
Later, sharks stopped hitting the glass and paying attention to colorful tropical fish, as if they were just moving the murals on the wall. It began to wait for the crucian carp that appeared every day, and then hunted by its agile instinct, as if it had returned to the sea, but all this was just an illusion. At the last stage of the experiment, the experimenter took the glass away, but the shark didn't respond. Swimming in a fixed area every day, it not only turns a blind eye to those tropical fish, but even when those crucian carp escape there, it immediately gives up chasing, indicating that it never wants to go there again. The experiment was over, and the experimenter laughed at it as the most cowardly fish in the sea.
But people who have been lovelorn know why, and they are afraid of pain.
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