21 super funny jokes

1. Since I bought insurance, I feel confident and don’t have to look at the traffic lights when crossing the road.

2. Look in the mirror more often when you look good. After all, this illusion does not happen every day.

3. Stop being so sad, you are not the only boy who can’t get me.

4. Work is like instant noodles, with twists and turns and three minutes of heat. The key is to increase the quantity without increasing the price.

5. One day, Matchstick suddenly felt that his head was itchy, so he started to scratch it, and he burned himself to death while scratching.

6. Wang Erxiao hit someone with his motorcycle. He pulled the injured person up and comforted him: "Haha, even if you are far away today, I usually drive big trucks."

p>

7. I have had a dream since I was a child, which is to drive a Lamborghini sports car while wearing sunglasses. After many years of hard work, I have realized half of my dream. I already have sunglasses.

8. How would you describe your cooking skills? You are good at cooking. You may not believe it, but it was the pot that moved first.

9. Skin care is actually a kind of metaphysics. If you don’t order products that exceed your financial capacity, there will be no effect.

10. During a military exercise, the shelling was off target. We sent people to investigate and saw a man standing in the vegetable field with tattered clothes, a dark face, and tears in his eyes. He asked him, and the answer was: What is the use of stealing a cabbage? Bombardment?

11. Recently, I have always seen some women on the Internet saying that they will marry an honest man when they are tired of playing. Haha, I'm really speechless. I can't wait for when they will get tired of playing.

12. Which brand of toothpaste I use depends entirely on which brand of promoter my mother encounters first when she goes to the supermarket.

13. A true brother, no matter how far apart we are, no matter how long we haven’t contacted each other, even if we change our phone numbers several times, I can always find you when I need to borrow money...

14. A man was waiting anxiously outside the maternity door. Suddenly the door opened and a nurse came out with three children in her arms. The man calmed down his excitement, looked at the children carefully and said, I want the middle one!

15. Doctor: I asked you to do a urine and fecal test, where did you go? "Doctor, I swallowed my urine, but I really can't swallow my stool."

16. Whenever I am about to say that I will start saving money now, there is always a voice telling me, be kind to yourself. This is the reason why I can't save money.

17. Today my best friend burst into tears and asked me why. Answer: Even my mother got married for the second time, and I still have one!

18. Valentine’s Day is coming soon. I was shopping downstairs last night, and the boss asked me: “Sir, do you want to buy flowers?” “What are you buying flowers for?” “Buy flowers for your girlfriend.” Oh. , how many flowers can I buy to give to my girlfriend? "Then the boss quietly took the flowers back...

19. My friend and I went to the flower shop to buy flowers. We saw a pot of mimosa. I poked it with my hand and found that it didn't move, so I asked. What's going on, boss? The boss said calmly: "Maybe this one is thick-skinned..."

20. Banpo stalled at the start and couldn't start the fire. The coach asked me: Why, you want to stay here overnight. Huh? I said: I didn’t bring any clothes, and everyone in the car immediately became quiet!

21. Elders think that playing with mobile phones while eating is a bad habit. In fact, looking at it from another angle, we don’t forget to play with mobile phones. How about eating? Do you look good at taking care of yourself?