When a child asks, "Where am I from?" Are you still saying "I found it in the garbage"?

"Sister Baoyang, my daughter curiously looked at her father's private parts yesterday, but her father was embarrassed. This kind of thing has happened many times. The more you dodge children, the more curious you become. What should I tell my daughter? " My friend's child is seven years old and in the first grade. I don't know how to deal with this situation, and I am very anxious.

In fact, as children grow up, many parents will encounter similar problems, such as:

"What should I do if I find my first-grade daughter downloading porn?"

"Grade five boys take off their classmates' pants in the classroom. "

Boys play with reproductive organs, girls pinch their legs from time to time, and so on.

As a parent, you are ashamed to ask such questions, but you don't have the right knowledge and way to tell them. The result is that children are more and more curious, and sometimes they are really afraid of something.

In fact, children's "sexual curiosity" does not mean that children are "bad", but reminds parents that they need to master the basic concepts and communication methods of children's sex education.

1. Why do parents feel anxious about their children's questions but don't know how to answer them?

Many parents always choose not to answer children's questions about sex. Don't they know the answer? Definitely not. Because of the influence of family and society since childhood, I always feel that I can't tell my children directly.

For example, six-year-old Beibei asked her parents where she came from. Mother knew that she couldn't fool the child with the old ideas, so she told him that it came out of her stomach. Beibei then asked, how did the stomach come from? How did you get in? This completely stumped mom and dad, and I never knew how to explain it to the children.

Most parents have an inexplicable sense of shame about "sex" and are always ashamed to say it. Come to think of it, it seems that no one has taught us that "sex is shameful and can't be discussed."

The main reason is that we have never received the correct sex education, but we have never lacked the "wrong sex education". Ordinary parents, teachers and society all avoid talking about sex, which is imperceptibly educating us that sex can't be talked about and is shameful. This is the education about sex that each of us received in the past.

Many parents have been avoiding because they don't grasp the timing and scale, remain silent or don't know how to say it.

For example, a friend told me that she could give sex education to her children, but she didn't know when it was appropriate to teach and how to grasp the scale. She is worried that after telling her children where she comes from, TA will find a child to imitate, and will it lead to precocious puberty?

Second, step by step, easily talk to children about sex education.

Maybe you will think that sex education is as professional as a doctor's treatment, as formal as a school class, and as serious as a leadership meeting. In fact, sex education in the family is not that complicated. It can be seen everywhere in our daily life.

For example, a 2-year-old child asks you: am I a boy or a girl? You tell TA: you are a girl. Children know their gender from now on, and such a simple dialogue is sex education. It doesn't require parents to open the slides of medical classes and point to the structure of reproductive organs and say to their children, "Look! Your body is this structure and the boy is that structure, so you are a girl. "

For example, one day, the child pointed to his genitals and asked his father, "What is this?" Dad replied, "This is your penis." Oh! It turns out that its name is penis. Children understand! This is also sex education.

With the growth of children's age and the development of cognitive ability, it is normal for children to explore all parts of the body naturally. Ta will touch the ears and nose, and touch any part that Ta can touch, bringing freshness to Ta. This is a process for children to know their own bodies. Including ta touching her genitals one day.

So, as parents, how should we guide them? It's very simple, don't worry about ta, let ta explore naturally and fully understand your genitals.

For example, if the child is interested in his genitals, the mother only needs to put a small mirror under the child's genitals, so that ta can see his genitals more clearly and tell the child, "This is the penis and this is the scrotum." In the first few days, the child was very happy, because it was stopped before and now it is allowed. He was so happy that neither the words "penis" nor "scrotum" popped out of his mouth. A few days later, after the excitement, the children stopped playing and reading. In this way, children will know their own bodies, and parents will no longer be anxious.

Parents around me told me that adolescent children know more than we do, so where do we need to teach ta? This reminds me of a joke: a father said to his adolescent son: It's time to talk about sex. The child replied: Dad, what do you want to hear? Go! It is true that children know more about some knowledge than we do, but what they know is not necessarily correct and scientific.

TAs are in the exploratory stage between children and adults. If parents don't tell them in advance, TAs will try their best to learn about it everywhere, and these channels are often not so healthy.

Take common menstruation as an example. Some children thought they were terminally ill when they first came to menstruation, and they were so scared that they were at a loss. And some can not only face it calmly, but also help TAs. This is the difference between having received sex education and not having received sex education.

Parents are a profession that can never resign, and educating children is a lifelong matter. Ordinary daily differences are major issues in parent-child relationship, not to mention "sex"?

Parent-child relationship is more than everything! If you can talk about sex with your child generously, what other parent-child problems can't be solved? I hope everyone will no longer be scared by "sex", no longer be ashamed of "sex", and give children scientific sex education with a positive attitude.