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Friends circle likes funny jokes
Friends circle likes funny jokes (hot articles)
1. Just now, an old lady got stuck in the elevator and I pushed her out. She said you couldn't speak, so I nodded and avoided a blood shed.
2. The boss of a private enterprise just sent a Weibo:? Another college student, party member, submitted his resume to our company. How clear should I be? We don't need party member until my company is nationalized. Because you swore to fight for the cause of * * * for life, as a private enterprise, we don't have the heart to push you into the hot bed of capital, and we have no intention of luring you into treachery.
I never understood why beautiful women are worried about getting married, and then I gradually understood. . . Beautiful women are demanding. First of all, their boyfriends should be tall, which eliminated a group. In order to be handsome, I eliminated another batch; Rich, and then eliminated a batch; To be single-minded, another batch has been eliminated, leaving little. And the rest are tall, handsome, rich and single-minded, how can they like women?
Nowadays, girls grab their boyfriends' skirts when they watch a war. She will cover her eyes when she is in a car accident. Those who kill dogs are all friends who condemn and show love. Then I walked into the vegetable market every night and saw bloody pork and heartbroken dead fish on the chopping board. The first thing I asked my boss was: Is it new? Did you just kill him?
5. Have you considered the feelings of others every time you scold them? Anyway, I do. I try not to use dialect, for fear that the other party will not understand.
6. American men are excellent and can't tell the difference between before and after; German men have a good life, and couples can change jobs; Japanese men are very stylish, and the result is sexual perversion; China men are unlucky. They will be investigated if they do it. .
7. My girlfriend went to buy clothes and sat on the sofa angrily as soon as she came back. I was so angry that the clothes seller said I had no waist! ? Boyfriend quickly advised her: don't listen to that man's nonsense, you have a waist under your head! ?
8. Who says the starting point of life is the same? I was at home, and I hired a midwife for 200 yuan to deliver the baby. You spend millions to find a professional nursing team in the best hospital. Who says time is equal for everyone? It takes me 1 day to go to Beijing by train, while it only takes you a few hours to go to Beijing by plane. Who says fate is in your own hands? At the beginning, I applied for a big diploma with more than N qualification certificates. As a result, the other party hired the nephew of the leader. Who says you can't succeed without hard work? Just look at the leader's son
9. Many people feel that they are too tired to live, but in fact they may just sleep too late.
A man was lovelorn and wanted to jump off a bridge to commit suicide. His relatives and friends tried their best to persuade him that tragedy was about to happen! The policeman who heard the news lit a cigarette and said unhurriedly, it's so cold that no one can jump into the water to save you. The farce is over.
Friends circle likes funny jokes (classic)
1. Too angry! I walked into a luxurious bar that day. The security guard proudly said, you can't come in dressed like this. ? I turned and left, and then left a sentence: Why don't you repair the heating yourself?
My sister at the front desk of the company is wearing tight jeans and doesn't know what to look for on the ground. When I passed by, she immediately stood up and lifted her jeans. Really, who am I? Besides, wearing a black T-shirt is nothing to see!
I think online 1080P is too demanding for 720P. In my opinion, a threesome is already very exciting.
4. watch the news:? Exhibitor of Guangzhou Sex Culture Festival: Didn't you sell a 40,000-yuan simulation doll? My friend said to me weakly: If you can afford this thing, you can make a girlfriend freely. If you can't afford this thing, you are an open-handed girlfriend.
A friend of mine has been dating his girlfriend for five years and has never broken his girlfriend's shortcomings. His girlfriend was anxious, and we laughed at him. He just said one word and killed us: I have nothing now. I'm afraid I won't marry her in the future. Her husband disliked her and bullied her. ? After listening to our friend's words, we immediately shed tears of excitement. Dialed my girlfriend's phone:? Tonight, the ktv group P is cancelled, and you can earn some money together. Take it to fix the film! Anal fissure also has a cure. Get along with him. He's a good man! ?
6. Kurds oppose Assad and Turkey, Turkey opposes Assad and supports isis, isis opposes humanity and Taliban opposes America, the United States supports Kurds, Russia supports Assad, Assad opposes Kurds and isis, Turkey opposes Russia, France supports Turkey, and Russia and France attack isis. China said: Say it again, director. Who am I helping?
7. It is said that it is a good idea to fall to the ground with the old lady when touching porcelain. You can forget it. Now the old lady is blaming me, saying that I slept with him ... I must take full responsibility.
8. The two brothers had a barbecue together. One of them drank some wine and began to complain to everyone. Well, I don't even know what to say about my dad. At least he is an elder. How can he be so ignorant? I gave birth to such a useless thing! ?
9. Just now, an old lady got stuck in the elevator and I pushed her out. She said you couldn't speak, so I nodded and avoided a blood shed.
10. Have you considered the feelings of others every time you scold them? Anyway, I do. I try not to use dialect, for fear that the other party will not understand.
Friends circle likes funny jokes (selected articles)
1. Reporter: Now the pesticide residues in grain and vegetables exceed the standard, and even tea can't be drunk! Excuse me, what else do we have? Rest assured food? Really? Spokesman:? You don't even want to ask questions. Do you think all those pesticides are real? "
My dog can buy newspapers and know how to change money. But now the price of the newspaper has gone up, and there is no change, so he shouts at the newsstand. . . .
3. A buddy bought a pet pig and fed it in the dormitory. One day half a year later, a litter of piglets was born. Buddies are in a mess, looking all over the dormitory: Shit, who did it! Fuck! Yes!
4. mom:? What is it, daughter? You look sad all day? I said:? Ugly, life is too hard, I can't find a job or a boyfriend. ? Mom:? Don't ruin yourself! Look at Xifeng, she's not much better looking than you. Is she having a bad time?
5. I met a little girl when I went to the supermarket. She was sitting in the shopping cart happily. I miss Doby, so I asked with a smile, son, you are so cute. Where can I buy it? The little girl said, "Uncle, as long as you ask her for help, you will have a lovely child like me!" " ! Then she pointed to a beautiful young woman who was shopping not far away and said, that's my mother. Have You Seen Her? All the children are fine now?
6. Dude, is there any cheap bungee jumping here? Yes, there is no rope.
7. One day at a company dinner, everyone was drunk and everyone was talking nonsense. Suddenly, the manager said to the boss. Boss, it's really not my fault. My sister-in-law seduced me first. ? Boss:? It doesn't matter. You can be a manager. Your wife is very trustworthy. ?
8.? Daughter-in-law, what posture will you use tonight? Wife, do you know so much?
9. Recently, a brother in the dormitory began to practice writing crazily and asked him why. His eyes were blank, and he said simply, you don't have the skill of a chicken, but you have to practice your fingers. Otherwise, how can you find a wife in the future? Oh ~ ~ After listening to his words, I fell into deep thought and bought a harmonica.
10.a: Why is the bed end between husband and wife? Reply: Because something happened in the middle of the bed!
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