The messages in QQ space had better be swearing jokes.

1. One person scolds another person: "I really want to spit a bubble in your face."

2. I remember a buddy in our dormitory grabbed someone else's buns and said while eating, "This thing is only suitable for stuffing your ass."

3. When I was a child, the primary school teacher scolded a student: "I will kick you out with a slap!" The last thing we want is to laugh.

Several of our middle school classmates once went out by bike. A classmate went to kick another fatter classmate's foot and wanted to scold him at the same time, saying, "I put out a pig's trotter and flew a foot."

5. A girl in our dormitory fiddles with another MM's bangs. "Look at this mess, it looks like it was scratched by a dog's paw."

Have you ever heard of it? It took 500 times to look back at the past life before this life passed by. Friends like us seem to have done nothing in their last lives, but turned around!

When we arrived at the platform, the car had already started. So I had to chase and shout: "Master, wait for me! Master, wait for me! Then a passenger leaned out of the window and said to me, Wukong, stop chasing.

In a military exercise, a shell deviated far away. I was sent to check and found that the shells landed in the farmland. You stood there in rags, haggard face and tearful eyes, and said to me, hero. Do you need to shell a cabbage?

In Chinese class, the teacher called a sleepy classmate to answer the questions. The classmate was in a daze and couldn't say anything ... The teacher said, "Is that okay?"? I won't scream either! " Classmate: "Cheep."

Because of thirst, God created water; Because of darkness, God created fire; Because I need friends, God sent you to me, so God lost that bucket of rice!

I wrote your name in the sky, but it was taken away by the wind; I wrote your name on the beach, but it was swept away by the waves; So I wrote your name in every corner of the street. .....................................................................................................................................................................

There will be a meteor shower tonight. It is said to be a big pig. There will be a big pig flying across the sky. Too bad I want to sleep. You're gonna be okay. So many people watch you fly!

A county magistrate with a strong accent went to the village to give a report: "rabbit, shrimp, pig tail!" No pickles, pickles are too expensive! ! 」

Attention, comrades and villagers! Stop talking and have a meeting now! ! )

After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said, "Sausages and pickles, please!"! 」

Now, please talk to the township head! )

The township head said, "Rabbit, the dog ate today's meal, and everyone is a big jerk!" 」

Comrades, that's enough for today. We are all big bowls! )

No pickles, I'll pick up a piece of shit and lick it for you. ...

Don't talk, I'll tell you a story.

1. Find a friend and let him say "mouse" three times first, and then "mouse is old" three times. After he said, "mouse, mouse, mouse is old, mouse is old, mouse is old", he immediately asked him, "What do cats fear most?" It is almost guaranteed that he will answer "mouse". I have tried many times, and it works every time.

2. Find three things at random, such as three cups. Let a friend say "forget" when you knock the first one, "love" when you knock the second one, and "water" when you knock the third one, which is euphemistically called testing a friend's reaction speed. After several times, continue to knock for the first time. 3. If your friend says, "Forget it, forget it, forget it, forget it, Wang!

Find a MM to test her English ability. You say a word, and MM says the second letter of the word. Say a few words first, and then the fun will begin.

Say husband first, MM, mm can say u (you);

Besides my wife, MM can say I (I (I); ;

Over and over again

Do you understand?

4. You ask him, "What is three waters plus one?"

He thought for a moment and said, "Not sure, Lai?"

You asked again, "How about adding three drops of water?"

He might say, "... what word? Is there such a word? Going? "

In fact, it should be "law" ......

5. Hold out 1 finger and ask others "What is this?"

Put out two more fingers and ask someone, "What is this?"

Hold out three fingers again and ask others, "What is 1+ 1?"

10 people, the most 1 people answered correctly.

6. Read Wang Shuo's novels. The game in Half Flame, Half Seawater is very interesting. The one with the coin in his hand and answering the question.

Is there a number greater than 1? The other party said yes.

Again, is there anything larger than 10? The other party said yes.

Until 100000-

Finally, do you ask a fool more stupid than you? The other party is very alert to say "no"!

7. By the way, you can say that I want to test your English reaction ability, hold out your left hand and say to her, "My thumb is A, my forefinger is C, my middle finger is M, my ring finger is S, and my little finger is X", and then say, in order to increase the difficulty, I will interfere with you in Chinese. Then, if you point to the middle finger and say fish, she will say M, you point to the ring finger and say donkey, she will say S, then point to the thumb and say pig, she will say A, then keep pointing to the thumb and say pig, and she will keep saying: A, A, A, A, A, A. If she is smart, she can try other fingers before giving her thumb.

9. Put your hands on your thighs, then rub your left hand forward and beat your right hand up and down several times, then change your hands and rub your right hand forward and beat your left hand up and down. ......

By the way, speed up, it won't work if it's slow. Hehe, try it, most people won't say it.

10.a: Besides people, what animal likes to ask "why" best?

I don't know.

A: It's a pig!

B: Why?

Ha! ! !

1 1. Tell an old story, the more people, the better the occasion:

Adventure stories. Grandpa and grandson go out to sea to experience risks!

Grandpa is a fisherman who is very familiar with water. On this day, the weather is fine. He asked his little grandson to go fishing with him.

Who knows that just after going out to sea, the weather suddenly changed and there was a storm at sea. The little grandson was afraid, and grandpa comforted him: Don't be afraid, my dear grandson. Grandpa has been skilled for so many years. What are you afraid of this storm?

Suddenly, a big wave came and split the paddle in half.

Grandpa said helplessly to his grandson, dear grandson, the pulp is finished!

12. Is the English spelling of pig PUG?

-No, it's a pig

No, how do I remember it was you?

-You're mistaken. It's me.

-Pig, it's you

-Pig, it's me