Unexpected humorous jokes

Unexpected humorous jokes

1. On the train platform, there was an old lady carrying a large bag of things and asked a staff member: "Can I tell you where the train to Guangzhou is?" Is it there yet?

?The train left ten minutes ago. You are late.?

?Oh, when is the next train coming? ?

?Only in the afternoon?

?When will the trains to other places arrive?

?Oh, it will be within an hour at the earliest There will be no trains coming into the station in the future. Where do you plan to go?

? Oh, it’s okay. I walk slowly with my things, so I’ll ask a few more questions. I plan to go to the opposite side of the platform?

　?.......?

2. A: I am sure that your memory is not good, and you may not be able to remember what happened a minute ago.

B: That’s too exaggerated. Although my memory is not very strong, it’s not that bad.

A: Oh, can you really remember what happened one minute ago?

B: Sure...

A: What is 10 times 10?

B: 100.

A: What is 100 times 100?

B: 10,000

A: 10,000 times 10,000

B: 100 million

A: Please tell me I, I asked you, what is the first question.

B: What is 10 times 10...

Answer:

A: You Can you really remember what happened one minute ago?

3. Ah-Dai has a very beautiful girlfriend, and sometimes she is very funny...

One day, Ah-Dai was with her Went out on a motorcycle ride. When they set off, Dumb forgot to refuel and withdraw money. When they arrived at the gas station, they found a bank diagonally opposite the bank. Dumb said to his girlfriend: "You help me fill up the gas, and I'll go get the money." His girlfriend glared. With his eyes wide open, he nodded hard and said, "Okay, no problem."

Dumb ran towards the bank opposite, and suddenly found a cash transport truck parked in front of the bank. The two guards were very nervous. Looking at him, her girlfriend behind her held the car and said to him: "Come on, come on..."

4. In a certain place in Africa On a small road in the village, a piece of bread and a poached egg were running hard, followed by a group of hungry villagers holding knives and forks.

Suddenly, Bread and Poached Egg saw Portuguese Egg Tart walking leisurely on the roadside.

? Run! You don’t want to live!? The poached egg kindly advised its egg tart brother.

? Don’t worry, they haven’t known me since they were little. ?Portuguese Egg Tart said calmly.

5. A drunk man walked crookedly into a store to buy a vase. Seeing an upside-down cup on the counter, he picked it up, looked at it, and said strangely:

? Why does this vase have no mouth? He turned the cup over and looked at it, and said:

? Why is there no bottom?!?

6. Monkey Mountain Administrator: It is the mating season now, and the monkeys have all gone to the cave. Beautiful girl: If I throw some peanuts, will they come out? Administrator: If it were you, would you come out?

7. A young man who has just arrived at the company is standing with a bunch of documents. I was stunned in front of the shredder. At this time, the boss's secretary passed by. When he saw it, he said: "What a rookie, you don't even know how to use this?"

After that, he grabbed the file and put it in the machine and pressed it. Turned off the power and the files were shredded in no time.

At this time, the young man said: Thank you very much, but where did the copy come from?

Female Secretary: .........

< p> 8. Xiao Ming pushed the movable public toilet in the village into the river as a prank! Afterwards, he felt that he was wrong and thought that if he admitted his mistake to his father, he would be forgiven! Unexpectedly, his father beat him severely.

Xiao Ming said aggrievedly: After Washington cut down the apple tree planted by his father, he admitted his mistake to his father, and his father forgave him! But why don’t you forgive me?

The father said angrily: When Washington cut down the tree, his father was not on it!?

9. The husband said to his wife: Dear, if Edison had not invented the electric light, then we would still be here today. I can only light candles and watch TV.

10. When people from the Song Dynasty arrived in modern times, they were hungry and found a McDonald’s on the left and a KFC on the right. Most people went to KFC to eat, why? Because he prefers Kaifeng cuisine.

11. A certain boy was taciturn by nature. After marriage, he gave birth to a daughter. When the daughter grew up to ten years old, he finally couldn't hold back his curiosity. , grabbed his mother and asked: "Mom, who is this person who eats with us every day?"

12. A writer traveled abroad and reached the border. The military police wanted to check the registration, so they asked him: "Name" XX. ?What are you doing writing something? ?What do you do for a living? ?So the military police wrote in the registration book: ?Name: XX; Occupation: Selling pen holders. ?

13. In front of the toy cabinet in a department store, the youngest son clamored for his father to buy him a large trumpet. The father frowned and said, "I'm afraid you'll give me a headache if you blow the trumpet." ""Dad, no, I won't blow it until you go to bed."

14. During the work dinner, someone mentioned something about an official from other places. I quickly picked up a famous quote from Yi Zhongtian: How can you be a leader if you are not mentally retarded these days? After I finished speaking, I remembered that most of the people at the table were unit leaders.

15. I drove a Land Rover and found that I was almost out of gas. I touched my pocket and found that I only had 10 yuan. What should I do?

Reply: Place one next to the Land Rover. Bowl, the poster knelt down beside me and could finish it in an hour!

16. I had a stomachache in the afternoon and was lying on the bed. My husband helped me pour warm water but did not bring any medicine. I said: Husband, medicine. ?The husband looked surprised: ?Medicine? I? Well, medicine. ?Then he came over and started to unbutton my skirt?

17. The iPad was released as scheduled and supports 10 languages, but not Korean. Korean netizens expressed regret and said: "South Korea is a market that cannot be ignored. Why not support Korean language?" Apple responded that this move was to eliminate the possibility that the iPad was invented by Koreans.

18. In order to make it easier for my mother to use the computer, I changed the names of various programs to names such as "Watch Movies", "Listen to Music", and "Click This to Go Online". The remaining few want to change it to: "Don't click on this?", "You can't understand it even if you click on it", "You are responsible for breaking it".

19. When you open a room with your boyfriend, the family is strictly controlled. I called my mother to ask for leave and lied to her that I was going to a classmate's house to play. My mother complained that my father was also on a business trip and she was the only one at home.

When I went upstairs to a hotel room with my boyfriend, I met my father in the elevator and came down with a young and beautiful woman in his arms.

Comment: Is your mother the only one in the family?

20. A classmate beat me. My brother said: There are so many beauties in your school. A classmate felt proud and said: Yes. The brother added: It’s just a bit expensive! Classmate: If you have a teacher’s certificate, you can get half price! ;