A humorous joke

A humorous joke of 20 words

A humorous joke of 20 words. The story is generally closely related to the production and life of primitive humans. Imagine that everything in the world is like human beings, with life and will. , and humor is a manifestation of excess intelligence, and jokes are its perfect expression. Below I share a 20-word humorous joke. A humorous joke 1

1. The squad leader asked: Who is the biggest officer in our platoon? The recruit answered: He is the platoon leader. The squad leader asked again: Who is under the teacher? The recruit answered: It is the horse that the division commander rides.

2. At the entrance of the supermarket, I saw a delivery man who had just started his motorcycle.

In less than 3 seconds, I heard a "bang" and the car He fell to the ground.

I saw him getting up silently, taking out the key and unlocking the front wheel of the car.

3. After dinner, I taught my daughter to be polite to others.

I said to my daughter: "First of all, you must learn to say 'thank you'. Say 'thank you' when you receive a gift from others; say 'thank you' when someone brings you food when eating." ; Mom also says "thank you" when she dresses you."

In order to make my daughter understand the meaning of thank you more, I took a bottle of drink and said to my daughter. : "Look, even if it's a bottle of purchased drink, the person who made the drink will print 'Thank you for your patronage' on the bottle cap."

As I said this, I unscrewed the bottle cap and gave it to my daughter. look.

After unscrewing the bottle cap, I was stunned. I saw "One More Bottle" printed on the inside of the cover.

4. At the KFC in front of the train station, a customer asked the waiter: Is there a power supply here?

The waitress said calmly: I am the clerk.

Customer:...

5. Two miners worked together to pull coal, one in front and the other in the back, until they pulled it to a hillside. The man behind found that the one in front was not exerting any force, so he Said: "You pull harder!"

The person in front turned around and said angrily: "Who said I didn't use my strength? Look, I bent the rope."

6. The old man: "As I get older, my memory is very poor now, and I forget many things easily."

The young man: "I have a way to solve this problem."

Old man: "Really?"

Young man: "Of course it is true, you lend me five hundred yuan first, and I have to see how bad your memory is first."

7. The man was sleeping alone on the train, and a woman pushed the door in and opened the door.

He opened his chest and messed up his hair and said: "Pay me 5,000 yuan, or else I'll call someone and say you're teasing me." The man was stunned for a moment, took out a pen and paper from his bag and wrote: I am a deaf mute, what do you want to do?

The woman took the pen and wrote what she just said on the paper.

The man smiled and accepted the note and opened the door: You can go out now. A humorous joke 2

1. A loyal party member died. God was unwilling to understand the soul of an atheist in heaven, so he sent him to hell. A month later, the King of Hell came sweating profusely and said, "Take that guy away quickly. He has almost turned all my little devils into Young Pioneers!" God understood. Another month passed, and the King of Hell was gloating about his misfortune. Ask God: "What happened to the party members?" God said: "First of all, please call me **..."

2. The history teacher said: The order in which the Qin Dynasty unified the six countries can be recorded as: Call Zhao Wei to act! (Han Zhao Wei Chu Yan Qi)

3. The giraffe said: Rabbit, I really hope you can know how good it is to have a long neck. No matter what delicious food I eat, it will slowly pass through my long neck, and the delicious food can be enjoyed for a long time. The rabbit looked at him expressionlessly. In the summer, rabbit, the cold water slowly flowed through my long neck, it was so delicious. It’s so nice to have a long neck! Rabbit, can you imagine? The rabbit said slowly: Have you ever vomited?

4. It is said that a sandstorm has reached Taiwan. Many old people took to the streets, opened their hands, looked up at the sky, with tears streaming down their faces, took a deep breath, and said excitedly: New Year, New Year, I can finally smell the earthy smell of my hometown.

5. Before getting married, I thought boys were the most handsome when they were playing basketball. After getting married, I suddenly discovered that the back view of a man cooking, washing dishes, and cleaning the house is the most exciting!

6. What are brothers? Brother, after the new year, when you are old and lying in bed, I ask you if you want to drink water? You shake your head. Do you want to eat fruit? You still shake your head. I ask again: Find you a girl? Open your eyes wide, with tears in them, brother, help me up and try.

7. When I had an opportunity to put on extra clothes, I didn’t cherish it. I regretted it until I caught a cold. If God gave me a chance to start over again, Given the chance, I wouldn't hesitate to add it to all my outfits.

8. The National Development and Reform Commission will increase the price of gasoline and diesel by RMB 0.00 per ton starting from 0:00 on the following day. After receiving the news, people from all over the country said that since the price increase of oil products does not include gutter oil, it will not have a big impact on actual life.

9. In the bus, a standing pregnant woman said to the man sitting next to her: Don’t you know I’m pregnant? I saw the man saying nervously: "The child is not mine!"

10. Xiao Di took swimming lessons for the first time. An hour later, she said to the coach: "I think today is the day. Isn’t that where you’ve been practicing?” “Why?” “I really can’t drink anymore.” 11. The Weaver Girl went down to earth to take a bath and met the Cowherd, and performed a shocking love story. Something tells us: There is no chance to take a bath at home, so you must take a bath outside

12. Guo Jingming, a seven-foot man; Li Yuchun, a lady; Yang Zhenning, a model husband; Chen Yixi, a pure-hearted and celibate woman; chaste and fierce female martial arts Pain orchids; America in dire straits; democracy and freedom in North Korea, and the origin of the world is South Korea.

13. A child asked a rich man: Sir, why are you so rich? The rich man said: When I was a child, I had nothing like you. My father gave me an apple, so I sold that apple, used the money I earned to buy two more apples, and then sold it to buy four more apples. The child was thoughtful and said: Sir, I seem to understand. Mr. Rich said: You know your sister, after my father died, I inherited all his inheritance.

14. The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a landmine during combat? The company commander was very angry: Damn, what can we do? If you step on it, you will be compensated according to the price.

15. The bull saw a cow grazing on the roadside while running, and said eagerly to the cow: "Run quickly, the expert is here." The cow: "The expert is here, what are you afraid of?" , isn’t the expert a human being?” Bull: “Expert is bragging right now.” The cow was shocked and ran away, asking the bull as she ran: “Expert is bragging, B, what are you afraid of?” said the bull. : "You really don't know. Besides bragging, the experts at the moment are also talking nonsense."

16. A girl is so ugly that she cannot get married and hopes to be trafficked. In the end, the dream came true, but it couldn’t be sold for half a month. The kidnappers sent her back, but she refused to get out of the car. The kidnappers gritted their teeth and stamped their feet: Let's go, the car is bad!

17. Judge: Why do you print counterfeit money? The defendant said innocently: It’s because I can’t print real money!

18. Patient: "Doctor, you left the scissors in my stomach." "It doesn't matter, I still have one."

19. Dad hugged you years ago While waiting for the bus, everyone laughed at the ugly child, and the father cried. An old man selling bananas patted his father and said, "Brother, don't cry. Give the monkey a banana to eat! It's so pitiful. It's so hungry that it has no hair on it."

20. Once upon a time, there was a small cucumber. , she felt that there were too many acne on her face, so she cut herself into pieces and applied them to her face.

21. When I was a child, my teacher told me: There is a hardworking person and a lazy person in every person. When you hesitate, they will fight. In elementary school, the diligent guy often defeated the lazy guy. In junior high school, it was a tie. In high school, the lazy guy often won. But when I got to college, I suddenly discovered that they stopped fighting, and the damn hard-working villain was beaten to death.

22. At night, a masked gangster broke into Mike's house with a knife. He shouted to Mike: "Hand over all your money, or I will kill you!" Mike Looking at the gangster, he said helplessly: "I'm sorry, I have been unemployed for half a year and I have no money to give you.

The gangster was furious after hearing this: "You lazy guy, I just lost my job last month, and I've already gone out to rob you this month!" "

23. When I saw her shy face and cute expression, I couldn't help but feel excited and asked in a low voice: "You...do you really like me? She lowered her head and said, "Guess!" "I like it~" Her face turned redder and her head lowered, "Guess again!" "

24. After Tang Monk drove away Wukong, he encountered a monster again. He had to recite a tight spell to call Wukong back to save his life. Soon a voice came from the air: Sorry, the user you called is not in the service area, please wait a moment. Try again later.

25. “Why are hurricanes usually named after women? "Because when a hurricane comes, you just run wild gently, but when the hurricane leaves, it takes your house and car with it." ” A humorous joke 3

Dad comes back to settle accounts with you

When I was sleeping at noon, my 2-year-old baby lay on my body and pressed my chest hard with his hands. I said, "Baby, stop squeezing me. It hurts so much. If you get squished later, daddy will come back to settle the score with you! Be careful to beat you!" The baby looked at my chest, looked at me with innocent eyes, and immediately put his little hands on my chest. I took it off. At that time, my mother-in-law was sitting next to me, laughing so messy in the wind!

A person must be down-to-earth

I failed the college entrance examination, so I thought about it and decided to do it. I got a fake college diploma. After learning about it, my dad criticized me: “You can’t take shortcuts in life, you have to apply for a fake admission notice first. "

I took out the compass I lost back then.

I hated her when I was in elementary school. When I sat at the same table with her, I drew a line in the middle of the table and told her to use the compass if she crossed the line. I pricked her, and then I lost the compass, but I didn’t care! After she grew up, she became beautiful, and I succeeded in pursuing her. On the wedding night, she drew a line on the bed and took out the compass that I lost back then!

Remember to buy a ticket next time

Many people were waiting for the bus, and finally the bus arrived. A beautiful woman squeezed onto the bus with all her strength! Because she was squeezed so hard, the beauty accidentally slipped He fell! He knelt down in front of the driver with a "plop"! The driver looked at the beautiful woman in shock and comforted: "Come on, remember to buy a ticket next time!"

Head Knock it up three times

In the third grade of junior high school, the whole class was organized to watch an acrobatic performance. It took a lot of sweat to achieve this. Xiao Ming was not convinced and said: How difficult is it? Then he stretched out his tongue and easily completed the acrobatic master's tongue performance. The teacher was shocked and walked down the stage and tapped Xiao Ming on the head three times.

I’ll get it for you if you like it

Beside the square, a mysterious man sat under a banner that said “Selling all kinds of mobile phones”. A passerby asked: Brother, you sell mobile phones, where is the mobile phone? Mysterious man: This is the square. You can look around. I’ll get it for you if you like it!

There are no numbers on the left.

A math test was very difficult. After the test, the teacher said: He said that those who failed would be severely punished. I held half of my score and saw a 9 on the right side. Damn it, there was a 5 on the left side. I was worried and saw a 5 on the left side. Damn, there are no numbers on the left side... < /p>

What kind of romance do you want?

One day, my boyfriend asked his girlfriend: "What kind of romance do you want?" My girlfriend replied: "The romance I want is very simple... we The two of them went to rob, and then escaped with the money after the robbery was successful. Unfortunately, you were arrested. You would rather die than fight, and you were imprisoned... leaving me alone and dejected... spending the rest of my life like water..." Boyfriend: ……