"You are not at home, and the child is fine." Don't let mom take the blame again, because you don't understand children.

Dear Ma Bao, have you ever heard such words from your family? Parents think that children are not good and must be used by their mothers. Being with their mothers has many disadvantages, which makes many mothers both wronged and wronged.

My colleague Ningning's daughter is three and a half years old. Last week, she went on a business trip for more than ten days. After returning home dusty, she immediately gave her daughter a close hug.

Although Ningning has video conversations with her children every day, she has been thinking about her for so many days, and her daughter snuggles up to her like chewing gum and enjoys the intimate mother-daughter time.

However, at night, I would rather put the children to bed. Children seem to be "stimulants", but in fact they are restless. In the next few days, every time she slept, Ningning's daughter was either crying or making trouble, and she didn't listen to adults at all.

Seeing this, the mother-in-law said with a tone of complaint and condemnation: "The children were very good during those days when you were not at home. When you come back, the child is not obedient at all. "

Ningning felt wronged at once when she heard this, and then spoke to her daughter carefully and asked her why she didn't sleep when her mother was around.

I didn't expect her daughter's answer to surprise Ningning. The daughter said, "Mom is here, and I don't want to sleep. I'm afraid you'll be gone when I wake up. "

It turned out that in the ten days when Ningning was on a business trip, her mother-in-law always said something like "You won't come back if you don't sleep with your mother" in order to make her children fall asleep.

The reason why my daughter has been clamoring for sleep is to let her mother notice her, even if it is reprimanded, it is better than leaving.

The American Encyclopedia of Parenting writes: When the mother is not around her child, if the parents tell you that the child has been acting like an angel recently, the mother should not be in a hurry to be happy. Because this shows that children don't trust others, dare not test their bottom line and dare not show their true self.

In the parent-child relationship, whoever the child is close to, the child will be more willful in front of this person. The mother is undoubtedly the closest person to the child. Once a child is in a strange environment or has not seen his mother for a long time, he will naturally become very clingy.

Everyone misunderstood that the mother "spoiled" the child, but no one could really understand the real world inside the child. His seemingly "naughty" behavior is just to attract his mother's attention and find a sense of security.

1. Mother stays with the child, don't spoil him too much.

Parents, except mothers, will think that children can't live without their mothers because they spoil their children.

The child was conceived by the mother in October and was born after suffering. Therefore, mothers usually respond to their children's demands.

However, when mothers are with their children, they should also love them in a measured way, and don't spoil them too much, which will make them spoiled and arrogant, but if this continues, they will become more and more lawless.

2. Give children a sense of security when their mother is not around.

It's really impossible for a mother to stay with her children all the time. Working mothers should work hard, and children should start to enter the campus when they are older. But no matter how far the child is from his mother, what the child needs most in his heart is the sense of security that his mother gives him.

Give the child a kiss before going to work every morning; Before going to bed at night, tell the child that his mother is not here when he wakes up tomorrow, but don't worry, he will come back soon after work; If mom is on a business trip, keep regular video time with her children.