Find some humorous jokes! ! I hope it is a personal treasure.

1. On that day, a pigeon landed in the middle of the line and wandered among the crowd like a chief inspector. The company commander standing by saw it and wanted to rob it. The action is like stealing a mine in a movie, and everyone stands there quietly laughing. The dove seemed to have seen the world, but she caught up with the company commander without flying away. A girl suggested feeding pigeons and taking out chocolates. As a result, the girl was punished for possessing snacks.

2. One day during military training under a tree, the coach said to the students: Count off in the first row! A classmate looked at the coach in surprise, and the coach said loudly to count off! So he reluctantly went to the tree and hugged it!

3. The captain of the school security department with a big belly should make a demonstration every time he comes to check. He said that his feet would wipe the floor and make a "click" sound, but he never kicked, so he had to use his mouth instead of pronunciation and became a laughing stock.

4. During military training, the instructor password of the Academy of Biological Sciences is funny:

"Plants this way! Microbes! In the middle of the cell! Attention, everyone! Look at the middle of this line-virus! ! ! ! ! "

In the team gymnastics competition, the men's team lost to the women's team. Captain lectured, "useless things are actually lost to women. The main reason for losing today is that you don't have their spirit and your mind is not as good as theirs. However, they don't have to stand very high. Hehe. " Everyone laughed.

6. Playing songs during military training is a great pleasure, which is nothing more than shouting "12345, we waited so hard" and "1234567, we waited so hard". One day, a men's team and a women's team sang "Team X, Come on", and the girls responded "If you don't sing, you won't sing", so the men's team shouted "One two three four five, if you don't sing, you will dance", and the playground was full of laughter and laughter, which was widely circulated that day.

7. The boys shouted at the girls' building, and the company commander found that the boys were not focused. Order the whole company to stand back-keep singing with your back to the girls' building, and the effect is obviously much better. After singing, the company commander gave a satisfactory order: "March in haste"! Then I found two boys standing in the same place, looking at the girls' building. ......

8. On that day, the instructor trained the girls in Class 4. Because they didn't play well, the instructor couldn't criticize them clearly. He can only say, "Look at you, I'm so sad."

Unexpectedly, a girl immediately sang below: "You know, sadness is always inevitable." Then another person added, "The peony flower is dead ..."

9. A coach boasted during the break that wrestling was the first one. As a result, a brother immediately stood up and challenged. The instructor had no face and had to fight. As a result, he lost three games in a row. Haha, that classmate had a big fall since childhood. It is said that he had nothing to play when he was a child. All the children in the village had a big fall, and his level was average!

10. There was nothing to eat during the military training in Dalian, and even the fish skin peanuts sold in the shop were extremely hot. This thing is quite hard. Once again, a hero ate a lot when he was on duty at night, but the action of biting peanuts woke the captain ... The captain jumped up and said where the gunshots came from. ...

1 1. When practicing crawling forward, one is to roll forward. When the instructor wanted to demonstrate, a classmate rolled over without hesitation, closed his eyes for a while, and there was laughter around. When he opened his eyes, he rolled over and went back to his original place!

12. Once, two teams stood face to face, and each team wanted to make the other team laugh, because then the other team would be punished for standing in the military posture. In the end, the two teams laughed wildly, and both teams were fined 1 hour! !

13. During the training at 6 o'clock in the morning, a girl didn't wake up in a daze.

Instructor: Hello, comrades!

Classmate: Hello, Director!

Instructor: Comrades have worked hard!

Classmate: Serve the people!

A girl: Sir!

14. Instructors in tactical classes love to perform. He makes three classes of a district team sing to each other all day long, and the tactical action time is actually very short. One morning, after just doing the action for more than ten minutes, he let the students rest and relax for half an hour. Just when he wanted to continue training, the college leader came over: "Why?" "Report Sir, you are tired from training, have a rest", the instructor reported. "Good, continue to rest." So, the students did nothing but rest that morning.

15. The last item of military training is military parade. The phalanx team walked past the rostrum and looked spectacular from a distance. Take a closer look, there are a few shoes scattered on the front steps of the rostrum. ......

16. During a military training, the instructor ordered: "Lift your left leg and stretch forward!" A classmate stretched out his right leg because of nervousness, and his left leg was next to each other. The instructor was very annoyed and shouted, "Which boy has both legs up?"

17. One night at about 8: 30, the monitor dragged us out to line up. It's 1 1 month, and most of us are wearing pants and shivering in the cold wind. The monitor asked, "Are you cold?" A: "Cold!" "Cold, just ran two laps! ! "Alas ... when we go back to the dormitory, we will discuss that if we are treated like this tomorrow, we must answer: not cold!

Sure enough, at the same time the next night, the monitor dragged us out to show our position. The same question: "Are you cold?"

Cold? "Everyone got the message:" Not cold! ! "

"Not cold, then give me stand in Jun Zi, an hour! ! "

Absolute ing ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

18.65438+ at 0: 00 in the morning, they received military training, dressed neatly, carrying backpacks, and the team was vast. When they walked to the residential area, the old people who enjoyed the cool stood up and looked at it and asked, "Which unit are you from?" Why do so many people wear glasses? "

19. On the seventh day of military training, girls played first in the morning, and the gunfire in the morning tickled our boys. At noon, the head of the team lectured: "The shooting performance in the morning is very unsatisfactory! Eight companies have finished more than 4,000 bullets, and there are three holes in the target! After the decision, the girl will play again! " k！ They have a bright side in everything, and the boys are going crazy.

20. During military training, a military song competition was held on the playground, standing in the trapezoidal stands, and a class lined up to sing in front. An instructor of the class volunteered to stand in the last row, waving a military flag. Because he is short, when we walked down after singing, the classmates in the next class asked us, "How do you shake the military flag behind you?"

2 1. During the military training, the total distance is about15km at 2am. On the way back, everyone ran to a large green belt, and the commander said that there was an enemy air raid, so they quickly hid, and the students rushed into the bushes of the green belt and fell.

After a while, the alarm was lifted and we continued on our way. We found many brothers missing. The instructor hurried to the bushes to find that a comrade-in-arms was lying down and fell asleep. ...

22. A buddy of Harbin University of Commerce, after firing five shots, immediately climbed aside, picked up a brick and threw it at the target. The instructor asked, "What are you doing?" He calmly replied, "report, I'm throwing grenades!" ! ! ! "Afterwards, I was punished by my brother. He ran n times around the playground in the style of 8 1! ! !

23. There was an emergency gathering in the middle of the night, and then the platoon leader used a flashlight to check whether the clothes were neat, especially whether the socks were worn. Then he caught a buddy, and the platoon leader was proud when he heard this classmate report loudly: I was wearing flesh-colored socks. Look again, sure enough! Hehe ~ ~!