Humorous stories with clever use of language

1. A clever boy and a stupid boy took an oral exam, and the teacher asked the clever boy; "Who invented the electric light", "Edison", "Who discovered the thunder", "Madame Curie", "Who discovered the gravity of the earth" and "Newton", 100, the clever boy told him the answer to help the stupid boy, and the teacher asked; Who is your father? Edison, Who is your mother, Madame Curie, Who told you that, Newton. My classmate said: I put too much washing powder. The other asked: What? Your brother has too many wives? In class, the teacher recited the text at will. Piggy, puppy and kitten all raised their hands. Who will the teacher call? Little dogs are humble because they want to be prosperous. 4. A Scotsman went to London and wanted to visit an old friend by the way, but forgot the address, so he sent a telegram to my father: "Do you know Thomas' address? On the day of the quick report, he received an urgent call back: "I know." 5. Three people go to new york for a holiday. They booked a suite on the 45th floor of a high-rise hotel. One night, the elevator in the building broke down and the waiter arranged for them to spend the night in the lobby. After discussion, they decided to walk back to their rooms and agreed to tell jokes, sing songs and tell stories in turn to reduce the fatigue of going upstairs. After telling jokes and singing songs, we finally climbed to the 34th floor, and everyone felt exhausted. "Well, Peter, tell a humorous story. Peter said, "the story is not long, but it is extremely sad: I left my room key in the hall." "Once upon a time, there was a scholar whose son was stupid, but the scholar saved face and had no money. Once, the scholar's relatives came to visit him. So the scholar taught his son, "When the guests come, you should behave yourself and appear knowledgeable. If guests ask about the trees in front of their house, they will say that it will be difficult to sell them in a few years. "If guests ask about the rockery behind their home, they will say that war and chaos have already been buried in the soil. If people go to see our granary, they will say that mom and dad earned it hard. If the guest asks about the scholar card on the wall, tell him what's the matter. Every generation in our family has to make one.

So he asked his son to recite these questions in three days, and the guests came. In order to show his son, the scholar let his son entertain the guests alone and hid himself. The guest asked about your father? The son replied in turn: "If the year is not good, it will be sold." The guest was surprised. Ask again, where is your mother? "The soldiers were in chaos and buried in the soil." When the guest saw him say something irrelevant, he pointed to the cow dung and said, "It's not small, it's cow dung." My son is busy saying that my parents earned all this. The guest can't stand it anymore. Ask, are you the son of a scholar after all? Why are you so stupid? The scholar's son said quickly, what's the matter? Every generation in our family has to produce one!

1. Soldiers like to wear their clothes backwards when riding motorcycles, that is, they can buckle their buttons at the back to keep out the wind. One day, Brother Bing drunk driving, overturned and hit the side of the road. When the police arrived ... Policeman A: What a terrible car accident. Policeman B: Yes, I hit my head in the back. Officer A: Well, he's still breathing. Let's help him turn his head back. Policeman B: OK ... One, two, push, turn around. Officer A: Well, I'm not breathing. ......