Eat funny and talk.

When eating with friends, be careful to meet idiots and make you laugh in minutes ~

1. The centipede was bitten by a snake, so it must be amputated to prevent the spread of virus liquid! The centipede thought: fortunately, I have many legs ~! ! Doctor comfort: relax, brother, you will be an earthworm in the future?

2. A farmer will kill the chicken tomorrow and feed it at night, saying, Eat quickly, this is your last meal! The next day, I saw the chicken lying down, leaving a suicide note: I have taken rat poison, you don't want to eat me, I'm not fucking easy to mess with ~!

A group of ants climbed up the elephant's back, but they were knocked down. Only one ant sticks to the elephant's neck. The ant below shouted: strangle him, strangle him, small sample, xx is backwards!

The cocks chased a hen, and when the hen saw that one of the cocks bowed his head and said nothing, his heart was pounding. Wedding night, hen: You are so cool. Why didn't you scream? Rooster: Drink too much that day? Fear of vomiting

5. Xiao Lv asked the old donkey: Why do we eat hay every day, but the old donkey sighed: We can't compete with others. We eat by running errands and others eat by their breasts!

6. A shop keeps a parrot. When the customer came in, he said welcome. A girl didn't believe it. She left six times. The parrot said it six times in a row. The seventh time, the parrot said angrily, Boss, someone is playing with your bird!

7. The child stole the parrot kept in the brothel. As soon as he entered the door, the parrot called, Move! Seeing his mother, he shouted: The boss has changed, too! Seeing his sister, he shouted, Miss has changed! Seeing his father, he shouted, I'm still an old customer!

8. A puppy climbed onto your dining table and crawled towards a roast chicken. You are furious and say, if you dare to do anything to that roast chicken, I will dare to do anything to you. The dog licked the chicken's ass and you fainted. The dog said, look who is cruel.

9. When you were walking on the road, a bitch jumped on you, bit off a piece of meat from your foot and swallowed it quickly. When you put out your foot to kick it, the dog said with tears: You fight, anyway, I already have your flesh and blood in my stomach!

10. Mike: Sorry I'm late, sir. I dreamed of a football match. Teacher: Then why did it make you late? Mike: Because the two teams were tied, they played overtime.

1 1. The son takes his girlfriend home: Mom, she is a very good girl. She can wash clothes, cook, cook and do housework. Mother: Well, I agree to hire her and let her come every Tuesday and Thursday.

12. Secretary: Are you busy during my vacation? Colleague: Nothing. Everyone shared your work. I read the newspaper, Xiao Zhang chatted on the phone, and Xiao Liu flirted with the boss.

13. One day, a husband's wife gave birth to a baby. He rushed to the hospital to visit and waited for n hours. There was crying in the delivery room. He shouted happily, I'm dad! At this time, the doctor came out with a sad face and told him that the child was born deformed. A gentleman stayed there and didn't understand why. Suddenly, his wife's crying came from the delivery room: it was all because of the murder that day. If you don't reply, you will get what you deserve.

14. Father: Did I put the letter I asked you to bring in the mailbox this morning? Son:? Report? Oh, by the way, you forgot to write your name, or I added it! ?

15. At the military meeting of small countries, one person: Iraq is at war, and we should send them a tank. Second person: We should send them two tanks. Third person: Why not give them all three cars?

16. I think the brightest smile in my life is probably dedicated to my mobile phone and computer screen.

17. I wonder what was the name of the cobra before the invention of the eye?

18. The funniest thing is that invisibility is visible to it, but you turn a blind eye to it.

19. It's brave to face his face without makeup.

20. Don't yell at me all day. I am not your cat or dog.

2 1. No matter how powerful Tang Priest is, he is also playing a monkey. ...

22. Only by eating all the time can we maintain a complete personality.

23. It's really hard to go to school. I might as well play computer at home.

24. Don't torture yourself with past memories.

25. Just because I looked at you one more time in the crowd, my eyes still hurt.

26. Don't think that I don't know your heart. My left hand was always there.

27. A true brother is to be your woman when you need one.

28. Getting married is not that easy. Every marriage has its temper.

Don't challenge my patience, your indifference is boring. ...

Never tell me. I'm afraid I will outlive you.