Jokes about campus!

1. All high schools must wear school uniforms. There is a repeat student who never wears it. The teacher in charge of this field squats at the door to inspect every day. One day, the teacher saw that the classmate didn't wear a school uniform and asked him why he didn't wear it. This classmate was furious and said, my mother is not dead. Why are you wearing mourning clothes? The teacher was sweating like a pig.

2. When I was in junior high school, I liked a few boys flapping butterflies after class. & gt& gt& gt& gt As a result, a classmate was so excited that when the bell rang, the math teacher asked him several times but didn't answer. Five minutes after class, the classmate ran to the door and called to report. The teacher said angrily, "I call a dog and it wags its tail!" " The classmate whispered, "I don't have a tail …" The whole class burst into laughter, and even the teacher couldn't help it.

3. In Chinese class, the teacher said: In fact, weasels don't eat chickens, which is obtained by scientists through experiments. Once, a chicken and a weasel were locked together. The next day, guess what? The classmate replied: The chicken is pregnant.

4. The PE teacher shouted in class: Turn right, don't look around, and sweep the students next to you with the sidelight of the corner of your eye. Someone whispered below: only his bladder grows in the corner of his eye.

5. A painting teacher is very famous. A newspaper has a large-scale report with photos, so he boasted in class: "Recently, some classmates always told me that you are really good, and you even published photos in the newspaper ..." I said, "Are you looking for someone to enlighten you?" Results: The teacher stared at me for at least 5 minutes, and then gave a lecture.

When I was in middle school, I had my first labor class. The teacher was an old man and introduced himself: "My name is Wu Shushan." I immediately replied, "Looking at Chang 'an in the northwest, I feel sorry for countless mountains." The whole class laughed, and the teacher was livid and punished me for doing heavy work. (Press: "Looking at Chang 'an in the northwest, pitiful countless mountains" is taken from Xin Qiji's "Bodhisattva Man's Book Building a Wall in Jiangxi")

7. In Chinese class, the teacher called a sleepy classmate to answer questions. The classmate was in a daze and couldn't say anything ... The teacher said, "Is that okay?"? You won't scream too! " Classmate: "Zhi." The teacher is sweating.

8. In a photography class, a classmate photographed two children playing around the fountain. The teacher asked, "What is this picture?" A sentence came from below: "Yuanyang plays in the water." Everyone laughed wildly ~ ~ ~

9. In physics class, the teacher talked about convex lenses and cameras. When I was writing on the blackboard, I suddenly heard laughter below, so I turned around and asked the idiot what to say. The boy finally managed to squeeze out a sentence: "Teacher, you are mistaken." So we looked back at the blackboard and saw that the words written by the teacher were scrawled on the blackboard, which was "press the machine" ..............................................................

10. During the self-study class, the academic director came in and asked the monitor, "Help me find two people, I want class flowers." So the monitor organized the whole class to vote for the class flower and had a class. Finally, he unified his opinion and chose the most pl mm in the class, so the two mm shyly went to the director, who said, "Come with me to the Academic Affairs Office, I want to spend some money ..."

1 1. In high school, the political teacher said in class? Developed capitalist countries, especially the United States, always bully other countries when they are strong. Our socialist China will not be like this. Even if it is strong, it will not bully others ... My deskmate replied, "How do you know if you are strong or not?" "The whole class laughed and the teacher ran away! ! !

12. in high school, there was an experiment in chemistry to replace silver ~ at that time, one of my classmates succeeded in replacing silver ~ shouting: teacher! There is really silver coming out! Then he said, teacher, why don't you sell silver (prostitution)? (Note: the teacher's daughter) The teacher didn't hear it, but also replied: It is not easy to sell silver. It needs the permission of the state ... the whole class will fall.