Who can give me a humorous cross talk?

Mandarin and dialects

Hou Baolin

A Do you often speak Beijing dialect when doing crosstalk?

B Hey, why do you always speak Beijing dialect? When we talk about cross talk, we have to speak Beijing dialect!

A Hey! That's not right.

B What?

A You should speak Mandarin!

B Isn’t Mandarin just Beijing dialect?

A is wrong.

B What?

A Beijing dialect is Beijing dialect and Mandarin is Mandarin.

B Oh! This is different!

A Hey, now we are promoting Mandarin.

B Yes.

A It is a dialect based on Beijing dialect.

B Oh.

A uses Beijing music as the standard tone.

B I still don’t quite understand this!

A You don’t quite understand this!

B I don’t understand.

A You have to learn this hard! You see, the benefits of speaking Mandarin are great, because now there are people from Shannan and Haibei working together. If they all use dialects, it will be difficult to understand them. But if they all use Mandarin, they can understand each other.

B Oh! Yes.

A, for example, you could say something like this——

B, what are you saying?

A. It’s easy to understand in Mandarin: “What do you think this is?”

B. Is this sentence in Mandarin?

A Hey, if you want to use Beijing dialect, it will be different from this.

B How do you say it in Beijing dialect?

A "What is your zhei?"

B Oh, zhei.

A What is this (zhei)? As the Mandarin saying goes: "What is this?" Right?

B Yes, yes, that’s right.

A Hey, this sentence will change when you go to Tianjin.

How do you say B in Tianjin dialect?

A "Look at this (jie), is it (si) (ma)?"

B Hey! This is Tianjin dialect.

A, right?

B Hey.

A When I arrived in Shanghai, the dialect was different again.

B How do you speak Shanghainese?

A Look what this is?

B This?

A "You (nong) look (ku) see (ku) this (di) is (ge) what (sa me zi)?"

B This sentence I I just don’t understand.

A means the same thing: "Look what this is?"

B Oh, that means the same thing.

A Right.

B Oh.

A If you go to our hometown, this sentence will change again.

B Where are you from?

A Cang County.

B Cang County?

A Cangzhou!

B How do you say this?

A "Look at what (me) this is?"

B Oh, this is Cangzhou dialect.

A You are going to Fuzhou, Fujian Province, which is different from this.

B Yes!

A That’s even harder to understand.

B How do you say this in Hokkien?

A "You (lu) see (kan) what (zui) is (sai) (nao)?"

B I can't understand this sentence even more.

A So, it’s good for everyone to learn Mandarin!

B Yes.

A There is not much difference between Mandarin and Beijing dialect.

B Oh!

A If you want to learn Mandarin, it will be beneficial to listen to cross talk frequently.

B can learn Mandarin.

A Hey.

Isn’t cross talk in Beijing dialect?

B Yes!

A It’s just Erhuayunduo.

B Oh! Children change rhyme.

A This is the biggest difference. In Mandarin, we say "today", "tomorrow" and "the day after tomorrow".

B Yes.

A This is not the case in Beijing dialect.

B What do you say?

A "Jin'er", "Tomorrow'er", "Hou'er".

B Yes!

A If you have nothing to do, go out, take a walk, and buy a popsicle.

B Oh, this is Erhuayun.

A Hey! You see, using rhyme here also has its benefits.

B What’s the benefit of that?

A If you want to write it in words, you write "popsicle", but if you want to speak, you have to say "popsicle".

B Ah! popsicle.

A. Popsicle, it has different meanings: Popsicle, it adds this to make you think this thing is not big.

B Oh! It's just trivial.

A "Hey! Look, it's hot! Here's a popsicle."

B Hey.

A Come and have a popsicle. It sounds nice like this, but if you don't use it to rhyme it, it will sound terrible! "It's hot today! Come and get a popsicle."

B Hey!

A Popsicle!

B How big is that!

A is talking about. Four people carrying it?

B How to eat it?

A, right?

B Yes.

A It can distinguish the meaning of words.

B Yes.

A is mostly used as a term of endearment.

B Oh!

A Use this to change.

B What?

A Let’s look at a child. Hey, look at how good this child is. He looks like a flower.

B Praise this child.

A "Look, this kid looks like a flower."

B Yes.

A He uses Erhua. If you don't use Erhua, it won't make sense.

B Really?

A Hey, look, this kid looks like a flower.

B Flower-like?

A "Look, this kid looks like a flower." The kid looks like Mareko, and the other one looks like Erkiji.

B Good guy! There are firecrackers here!

A, right?

B Ah.

A So it is said that children's rhyme has its advantages.

B Yes.

A You can’t just use children to rhyme everything.

B Really?

A You see this in Beijing dialect.

B Yes.

There are too many places where Jia'er changes into rhyme.

B Oh.

A Is there any overlap?

B What is called overlapping?

A "Fatty one, thin one, busy one, quick one, light one." These are all overlapping changes.

B Oh, yes.

A The two characters are the same, so add one below.

B Oh, this is called overlapping.

A "This person is fat, that person is thin, alas, go and have a quick trip. Alas! It's gentle." Are they overlapping?

B Yes.

A doesn’t need to talk sweetly: “This person is fat, that person is thin, you go fast, you go slowly.”

B said this but it’s not right Nice to hear.

A This is also said in Beijing dialect.

B. Where else can you say that?

A That’s adults versus children.

B Oh.

A The child is just over a week old, a little over one year old.

B Yes, yes.

A The adults taught him how to speak.

B Yeah.

A. Coax the child to say this.

B Yes.

A "Walk slowly."

B Oh.

A "I'll take you to the streets."

B Yes.

A "Call uncle, call aunt."

B Yes.

A "Call mom. Wear a hat and socks, and I'll take you to buy meat."

B Hey, that's what I said.

A "Eat dumplings and buy buns."

B Yes.

A. Dumplings, dumplings, dumplings, stuffed buns, to coax the children.

B Yes.

A I don’t say that to adults.

B I didn’t say that to the adults.

A: Of course, I'm talking to you: "Mr. Guo, are you okay?"

B: It's okay.

A "Let's go out for a walk."

B Let's go.

A "I'll treat you to dinner."

B Okay.

A "Let's eat steamed buns, or dumplings."

B Okay.

A "You put on your hat, let's go." This sounds great! Would you be satisfied if you coaxed your children the same way? "Mr. Guo, are you okay?"

B It's okay.

A "I'll take you out for a walk."

B Ah.

A "I'll treat you to a bun."

B Oh.

A "I'll buy you dumplings. Put on your hat."

B That's good, I'm a fool!

A Just say yes, right?

B Yeah.

A This is the rhyme of children.

B Yes.

A Therefore, when learning Mandarin, pay attention to the rhyme of Beijing dialect.

B Yes, yes.

A If you want to listen to cross talk and learn Mandarin, you must pay attention to the fact that some actors like to use dialects and dialects.

B Oh, brogue.

A Ah.

B This dialect is understandable to the local people.

A Hey, people won’t understand it if they leave that place. People from other places don’t understand it very well.

B Yes.

A, right?

B Hey.

A And it’s not easy to write either.

B Oh, I can’t even write.

A That belongs to the old Beijing dialect.

B Oh.

A, for example, if you speak Mandarin, these two sentences are easy to understand: "Hey, Mr. Guo, I went to see you yesterday, but you were not there. I waited for a long time and you didn't come back. Then I left. ”

Oh.

A Do you understand this?

B This is easy to understand.

A "I went to see you yesterday. After waiting for a long time, you didn't come back, so I left." Everyone understands.

B Yes.

A You have to use the Beijing dialect, which most people don’t understand.

B What do you say?

A "Hey, I went to see you yesterday."

B: I went to see you!

A "I'm looking at you and you're crazy."

B I'm crazy - okay!

A "I've been waiting for you for a long time, but you didn't come back at all. I looked at Zhe (pronounced zhe)."

B Yes.

A "I'm going to do it."

B: Let me do it!

One cannot vomit quickly

Liang Yijia: When other people encounter fresh air, they always want to take a deep breath.

B: Breathe fresh air.

A: My second uncle is not like this.

B: Where is he?

A: He likes to vomit quickly.

B: What are you talking about?

A: It has nothing to do with chatting.

B: Then how do you say that spitting out the phlegm makes him happy?

A: Spit out the phlegm and he feels happy.

B: It’s so fast to vomit like this!

A: When he gets up early to go to work, riding his bicycle, he can vomit from the door of his house to the gate of his work.

B: Spitting everywhere!

A: What do you think?

B: This is so immoral!

A: Why do you think all the cyclists are walking in a straight line, except for the ones riding behind my second uncle, they are all walking like a snake - twisting and turning.

B: What's going on?

A: Do you still need to ask - I'm afraid of spittle splashing on my face.

B: This is so outrageous! Didn’t anyone come out to take care of him along the way?

A: In the words of old Beijing, he was embarrassed; In the words of the office workers, he didn’t have the time to deal with him; in the words of the sanitation workers, he was of low quality; in the words of the law enforcement officers, he told me not to let him run into me.

B: I didn’t say anything good about him.

A: It was no coincidence that we really met each other that day. My second uncle was just vomiting something in a hurry when he was shouted at: "Get off here!"

B: This tone is hard to accept. What about your second uncle?

A: Without saying anything, he got out of the car obediently.

B: I also feel that I am wrong.

A: "You have enjoyed yourself along the way, can others bear it?"

B: (playing second uncle) "I was wrong!"

A: "I just got it? Are you willing to be beaten or punished?"

B: (Strangely) Why are you still carrying the punishment? (Playing the role of second uncle) "I accept the punishment."

A: "Accept the punishment and put this on." He said and handed over a mask.

B: "SARS is over."

A: "I'm afraid you will spread the disease to others. Also, clean up all the phlegm you spit. ”

B: “I’d better accept the beating!”

A: “I’ll have to wait until you finish cleaning up.”

B: Consecutive penalties. Bring me a beating!

A: "Besides, I can't beat you in front of so many people - let's wait until we get home!"

B: Still. Are you going to chase me and beat me? Who is so powerful?

A: You ask the person who is in charge of my second uncle?

B: Ah.

A: My grandpa!

B: That’s what I said!

New facial features compete for merit

Ma Dong: Nationwide Audience friends, I and my facial features are here for you

Qi: Happy New Year!

Eyes: I am Ma Dong’s eyes and I wish everyone a happy smile!

Ma Dong: Hey, my eyes are so festive!

Ears: I am Ma Dong’s ears. I wish you good hearing in all directions!

Ma Dong: Blessed are those with big ears!

Mouth: I am Ma Dong’s mouth, and I wish everyone a happy smile!

Ma Dong: My mouth can speak.

Nose: I am Ma Dong’s nose and I wish everyone #@amp;...@#@! ) (English: Happy Chinese New Year!)

Ma Dong: Hey, why do you have a foreign nose in my generation?

Nose: Foreign noses are big, you can breathe easily!

Eyes, ears, mouth: (laughing) Yes, you can breathe happily!

Ma Dong: Why am I so happy? I’m in trouble!

Eyes, nose, mouth, ears: What’s wrong?

Ma Dong: I was caught driving drunk last night and the police caught me and my driver’s license was taken away. What should I do?

Eye: I didn’t see it!

Ears: This has nothing to do with me!

Ma Dong: Stop! what? It's the same old habit again, no one can escape, one by one. Come on, who says it first? you? you! Eyes, you see best and you say it first.

Eyes (staring at ears): What did I say?

Ma Dong: Drunk driving!

Eyes (still staring at ears): Hey, are you driving drunk?

Ma Dong: I said, can you look at me and say okay?

Eye: I’m not looking at you!

Ma Dong: Is this looking at me? I am here.

Eyes (turning to nose): Oh, you are here, hello, hello

Ma Dong: Hey, what are my eyes?

Eyes (Turns to the audience): You don’t know, there is something wrong with Ma Dong’s eyes.

Ma Dong: What’s wrong with my eyes?

Eyes: Cross-eyed

Ma Dong: I’m cross-eyed?

Eye: Not always slanted.

Ma Dong: When will it become slanted?

Eye: When he saw the woman, he squinted.

Ma Dong: Even if I squint, you could still see the police yesterday!

Eye: This is a male policeman, hey, I closed my eyes, hehe...

Ma Dong: Hey, he is hiding now

Nose: shirk

Ma Dong: What did you say?

Nose: This is simply shirk!

Ma Dong: Listen, listen, ah, people’s attitude, as a foreign nose, has come all the way to our faces. What kind of spirit is this? What kind of spirit is this? This is... the spirit of staring at the nose and face

Nose: Hi...

Ma Dong: Nose, tell me

Nose: What did I say?

Ma Dong: Drunk driving

Nose: Did you drink and drive?

Ma Dong: You were there!

Nose: Alas, this is an internal disease of the Chinese, otherwise I would not be involved

Ma Dong: Hey, he is not involved now?

Nose: Everyone knows that there is something wrong with Ma Dong’s nose.

Ma Dong: What is wrong with my nose?

Nose: no holes

Ma Dong: Let everyone see my four long noses (the pronunciation here is like this, but I don’t know the specific word) ), I have eyes!

Nose: It’s no use having eyes. I kept sneezing that day, Qiu! I don’t know anything.

Ma Dong: Hey, he’s hiding too, it doesn’t matter, I’m asking this, my ears!

Ears (said to mouth): Yesterday’s Yanghe Daqu was pretty good!

Mouth: Looking for you

Ma Dong: You, I will follow you...

Ears: These are not Ma Dong’s ears

Ma Dong, Er Er: There is something wrong!

Ma Dong: I know you said this, so you have to say it too

Ear: What did you say?

Ma Dong: I’ll let you talk!

Ears: Say something louder?

Ma Dong: I’ll let you talk!

Ear: Oh, why can’t you open your mouth without making any sound?

Ma Dong: Am I opening my mouth?

Ear (speak to mouth): Say What?

Ma Dong: Whose wallet?

Ears: Mine!

Ma Dong: Hey, can you hear this?

Ear: Not this... what did you say?

Ma Dong: Here we go again.

You, don’t pretend not to hear.

Ear: Are you going to court tomorrow? What are you doing during the Chinese New Year?

Ma Dong: You are sincere

Ear: Do you want a divorce? Why?

Ma Dong: Don’t you understand the word sincerity?

Ear: The third party is Feng Gong? You said how much Feng Gong hates you

Ma Dong: I don’t believe you can’t hear clearly!

Ear: Are you going to marry Dong Qing after Liwan?

Ma Dong: You are just pretending!

Ear: Zhu Jun still wants to die?

Ma Dong: Who is following whom?

Ear: You can’t marry Xu Jinglei!

Ma Dong: Why is it so chaotic!

Ear: Oh, my father-in-law is Bi Fujian!

Ma Dong: You go!

Ma Dong: Zuizui, you can’t run away either! Tell me

Zui: Isn’t it about drunk driving?

Ma Dong: Yes

Zui: There’s no need to talk about this anymore

Ma Dong: Huh?

Mouth: Besides, everyone knows that Ma Dong has something wrong with his mouth

Ma Dong: Wait a minute, I admit that the three of them said there is something wrong with me, let me ask around What are you doing? There's nothing wrong with my mouth.

Mouth: Yes, there must be nothing wrong with your mouth when you speak

Ma Dong: Right?

Zui: But as soon as you finish drinking

Ma Dong: What’s wrong?

Mouth: @#￥￥￥amp;*amp;

Ma Dong: What am I?

Mouth: #￥……##￥……#

Ma Dong: What did he say

Ears: He said you couldn’t speak clearly

Ma Dong: How did you hear this?

Ma Dong (talking to the mouth): You, straighten your tongue, tell me what happened last night.

Mouth: #amp;......￥......#amp;..........#@￥@! ￥@@##……! #amp;**~! @￥#

Ma Dong: Am I like this? If my tongue behaves like this, I won’t drink. The police will take me away.

Look at you four, you all want to hide when things happen? How can we get this book back, with your attitude...

Eye: Hey, head

Ma Dong: Eh?

Eyes: Your attitude is wrong

Ma Dong: What’s wrong with my attitude?

Eye: You have to tell the police carefully

Ma Dong: Well, what should I say?

Eyes: Uncle Police

Ma Dong: Call me uncle?

Eye: Drunk driving is our fault

Ma Dong: Yes

Eye: But the responsibility is yours

Ma Dong: Hey, how come the responsibility belongs to the police?

Eye: We have a dedicated bus line on the road

Ma Dong: Yes

Eye: There is a dedicated bus line for the Olympics

Ma Dong: Yes

Eye: Why not set up a dedicated hotline for drunks?

Ma Dong: Set up a special hotline for drunk driving?

Eye: It is easier for you to manage

Ma Dong: How to manage this

Eye: When you see a car driving by, hurry up and step forward (Salute) Hello, drink, don’t panic, please go, drunk hotline!

Ma Dong: Why not just drink and drive?

Eye: Oh no, it will cause a new traffic jam

Ma Dong: What should we do?

Eyes: divided into odd and even numbers

Ma Dong: This is also divided into odd and even numbers

Eyes: 135 and white, 246 Those who drink beer can go

Ma Dong: Hey - those who drink can only go on Sundays

Eye: That’s right. If that doesn’t work, can we still group up?

Ma Dong: Can we still group them?

Eye: Those who drink Erguotou will leave on Tuesday, and those who drink Wuliangye will leave on Friday

Ma Dong: Hey, those who drink Jinliufu can only Walking on Saturday

Eyes (patting Ma Dong on the shoulder): How clearly differentiated

Ma Dong (hand shaking away the eyes): What a mess

Nose: Okay

Ma Dong: What an idea!

Nose (walks to Ma Dong): Don’t listen to him!

Ma Dong: Can’t listen to him

Nose: You have to say this when you see the police

Ma Dong: What should I say?

Nose: Police uncle

Ma Dong: Police uncle... why do you call me uncle?

Nose: I am a foreign student, nephew

Ma Dong: Yes, nephew, nephew must be called uncle

Nose: The drunk driving matter is indeed our responsibility

Ma Dong: Yes

Nose: But the police are concerned with the law

Ma Dong: Law

Nose: This law is called law in English

Ma Dong: law ?

Nose: Of course, how to catch more or less depends on your skills

Ma Dong: You used to be a fisherman in Canada

Nose: I’m talking about the law

Ma Dong: The law?

Nose: The law is based on evidence

Ma Dong: Yes

Nose: Evidence is based on logic

Ma Dong: Yes

Nose: Logic makes sense

Ma Dong: Yes

Nose: The truth can be explained clearly

Ma Dong: Yes...ah, ah, no, no, no, no.

Nose: Ah, the truth must be explained clearly

Ma Dong: Hey, this is correct

Nose: How do you explain that truth in English?

Ma Dong: Ah, that’s right... Hey, I really don’t know how to explain it

Nose: Look, look, look, I don’t even know how to reason——

Ma Dong: Ah!

Nose: Then how can you explain it clearly? !

Ma Dong: Hey, I let this big nose get in for me

Ears: head head

Ma Dong: Huh?

Ears: Don’t listen to him

Ma Dong: Don’t listen to him

Ear: Does the police say this is useful?

Ma Dong: It’s useless!

Ear: You should emphasize our national conditions in China!

Ma Dong: Then how should I emphasize it?

Ear: You said that

Ma Dong: Ah!

Ear: Let’s talk about that——Police Chief

Ma Dong: Police Chief...what’s wrong with you?

Ear: I must be different

p>

Ma Dong: Ah, what did you say?

Ear: I said so!

Ma Dong: Ah!

Ear: Listen to me, police, please don’t be angry

Ma Dong: Sing!

Ear: Drunk driving has nothing to do with me. Our boss is here for a treat and asked me to come with him

Red drops, yellow drops, beer drops, foreign drops, and two boxes of Daqu

Ma Dong: The wine is here!

Ears: No matter how far or near, we are all guests, I cannot be polite

Ma Dong: Yes!

Ear: Since we are sitting together——

Ma Dong: How is it?

Ear: Drink it all——

Ma Dong: Drink it!

Ear: Police, I tell you——

Ma Dong: Yeah!

Ear: I have no problem drinking. I have no luck in meeting you today. Police, let me tell you——

Ma Dong: Huh?

Ear: Anyone who has a dream is great——

Ma Dong: Oops!

Ear: I still dare to fly a plane after drinking——

: Okay, okay

Ma Dong: Go, go, fly over there! So irritating!

Zui: I have to say a few words

Ma Dong: You have to say it

Zui: With the attitude of the three of them, you need your driver’s license Won’t come back

Ma Dong: I won’t come back at all

Zui: You have to tell the police so

Ma Dong: What should I say?

Zui: Mr. Policeman,

Ma Dong: Mr. Police——

Ziu: What about my question——

Ma Dong : Are you being honest? ! Comrade! Comrade!

Mouth: The police...the police are the same...comrades! Drunk driving is definitely our fault

Ma Dong: Good attitude

Zui: But drinking and driving are two problems

Ma Dong : Two questions

Zui: Stop talking about drunken issues

Ma Dong: Isn’t this... eh?

Zui: Tell me again why I want to drive

Ma Dong: Why?

Zui: Why should I drive?

Ma Dong: Huh?

Zui: Because I want to go home

Ma Dong: Yes

Zui: Why do I need to drive home?

Ma Dong: Why?

Zui: Because my family lives far away

Ma Dong: Yes

Zui: Why does my family live far away?

Ma Dong: Why?

Zui: Because I bought a house in the suburbs

Ma Dong: Yes

Zui: Why did I buy a house in the suburbs?

Ma Dong: Why?

Zui: Because the house prices in the city are too expensive

Ma Dong: Yes

Zui: Why are the house prices too expensive?

Ma Dong: Why?

Zui: Because of the US loan crisis

Ma Dong: Yes

Zui: Why is there a loan crisis?

Ma Dong: Why?

Zui: Because of his financial decline

Ma Dong: Yes

Zui: Because of his financial decline...

Ma Dong: You Wait a moment, wait a moment, where do you want me to go? What are you talking about? Just tell me about drunk driving!

Mouth: #@! #*amp;amp;*——@#￥￥@

! #￥! ￥......

Ma Dong: Oh, okay, okay, okay, did you see it? Push and hide! Let me tell you what is the current environment? Accountability, if something goes wrong, someone has to take responsibility! You say, who is responsible?

All in unison (except Ma Dong): Head!

Ma Dong: Ah, yes, I am responsible for the leadership, and the four of you have to figure out who has the main responsibility!

Ears, eyes, nose: mouth!

Zui: Huh? Why should I bear the main responsibility?

Eyes: Drink, drink, if you don’t drink that wine, what could happen to us?

Ear: I blame you!

Zui: Still blame me?

Ears: Yeah!

Zui: If it weren’t for your soft ears, would I have been able to drink the last cup of white wine?

Ear: This is...drinking. When the police asked you to blow, why did you use so much force?

Nose: Ah, yes!

Mouth: If you didn’t have such a foreign nose to breathe so much nonsense, what would I be blowing out?

Eyes: Yeah!

Nose: If you had seen that policeman earlier, wouldn’t I have gone around it?

Eyes: If the police officer who was talking nonsense wasn’t a woman, I wouldn’t have done anything like this!

#@￥@! @#￥#￥##￥@#￥! #amp;*amp;￥......

Ma Dong: Stop arguing! What are you doing? Let everyone see it. Is it cool? You push me and I push you, just like this? Can it be pushed cleanly?

Ears, eyes, nose, mouth: No!

Ma Dong: Can the problem be completely solved?

Ears, eyes, nose, mouth: No!

Ma Dong: At the critical moment, you have to rely on me!

Ears, eyes, nose, mouth: Huh?

Ma Dong: Let me tell you that no one of us has to go to the traffic team tomorrow!

Ears, eyes, nose, mouth: What’s wrong?

Ma Dong: I gave the police my driver’s license.

Ears, eyes, nose, mouth: Ah!

Ma Dong: It belongs to Bai Yansong!

Ears, eyes, nose, mouth: all recommended!