Blind, deaf and lame jokes

1. In order to attract business, a gas station put up a signboard: anyone who buys gasoline can get a local map for free. One day, a foreigner drove his car into a gas station. He only added two yuan of gasoline and asked for a free map. The waiter said, "What do you need a map for?" With the little gasoline you bought, I just showed you where you were going. "

One day, four beggars were begging together in the street. A blind, deaf, lame and dumb. At this moment, a fat man came out of the shop. Because of the hot weather, the fat man took out a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe his sweat, and one hundred dollars fell out of his pocket lightly. The fat man didn't pay attention and walked away ... The dumb man was the first person to see the money, and he shouted .. "Wow! One hundred dollars fell to the ground! ! "As soon as the mute finished speaking, the deaf man shouted at random ..." Where is it? " Where is it? The lame man also saw a hundred dollars ... He immediately got up from the ground, faster than Scud, ran there, stepped on a hundred dollars with his lame foot and said, "This money is mine, I got it first.

The mute disagreed and said, "I saw it first." The deaf man cried, "don't keep everyone, share it equally!" ! "

The lame man refused, and the dumb man refused .. The three men scuffled, and the blind man on the side said slowly, "Stop fighting, the money is fake."

3. Ten headaches for modern urbanites: 1. Work without life; 2. Have a lover, no love; 3. There is Weibo, no fans; 4. Have a residence, no housing; 5. Have a passbook and no deposit; 6. Have a business card, not famous; 7. There is overtime and no salary increase; 8. Career, no career: 9. There is entertainment, no happiness; 10. Friends, no close friends.

4. Bill. After the completion of Gates' new home, he found that the designer had played a joke on him:

1. After ringing the doorbell, the gate won't start for two minutes;

2. Can't be compatible with old light bulbs, and need to buy new ones;

3. Double-click the light switch;

4. Only one window can be opened at a time;

5. You need to choose "hibernation", "sleep" and "standby" before going to bed every night;

6. When flushing the toilet, the toilet will ask you, "Are you sure you want to flush the toilet?" 5. Animals hold big parties. Kangaroo: Every time I go shopping, I bring my own environmental protection bag, and I never use plastic bags that pollute the environment.

Spider: Now I seldom surf the Internet in the low-carbon era, so I concentrate on cross stitch.

The mosquito pressed the firefly without saying a word, and the firefly was angry. What are you doing? I'm looking for the power switch, save electricity!

6. When the computer company opened, friends and relatives drank and entertained.

Everyone opened a bottle of beer with a "power on".

"Clear the field!" Let's hold the bottle and have a batch process.

"Reset!" Everybody put down the bottles.

……

"Hey, don't drink, I don't have enough memory to hold it." A clap belly way.

"Hey, my keyboard is broken." B trembled and incoherent.

"Yes, there is something wrong with my monitor, too." C shouted, "Everything is dangling in front of me." 7. After class, the teacher said: What else do you not understand? I stretched myself and said, what class does the teacher have?

In the evening self-study, the teacher said: Don't think that I don't know that you play mobile phones ~ no one will stare at their crotch and laugh. . . 8. When my colleague left just now, I took a screenshot of his computer desktop and set it to print as a desktop. Then move all the files on the desktop to a folder on disk, so that the desktop looks the same as usual. When he came back, he clicked the mouse wildly, but there was no response! It's still turning off, turning on, turning off, turning on, turning off, turning on. ...