?When should women not speak in front of men?

There are four kinds of people in this world: those who don’t speak when they should not speak, those who speak when they should speak, those who speak when they shouldn’t speak, and those who don’t speak when they should speak. Sadly, many women often fall into the third category.

The great philosopher Socrates of ancient Greece preferred to hide under the trees in Athens to think about philosophy in order to avoid his grumpy and accusing wife; although Tugeny was a noble queen, Her husband, Napoleon III, often went on dates at night with a beautiful, non-nagging lady in order to avoid her. Even if you are a queen, you cannot keep the delicate flower of love. Saying things you shouldn't say hurts not only a man's self-esteem and self-confidence, but also his loyalty to marriage.

There are elements of war lurking everywhere in the siege, and a careless incident can lead to a quarrel between husband and wife. If one party remains calm and silent when the other party is excited, it is a sign of tolerance and confidence. It is really a virtue to keep your mouth shut when you shouldn't talk.

Keeping Husband’s Secrets

A psychologist once said: “The most important thing a wife can do is to let her husband keep secrets in the office. If a husband is unwilling to talk to his wife, there are usually two reasons: 1. Many men believe that they should let their wives work for themselves. It is undignified to worry about failure. 2. Although a man wants to share something with his wife, the wife is unwilling to listen, or will spread what the husband said everywhere.

Agent Park once expressed his dissatisfaction with an employee of the company to his wife at home, but within a few days, the incident spread throughout his company. Agent Park said regretfully: "I should have understood how difficult it is for a woman to keep a secret!"

As long as this happens a few times, or even once, the husband will definitely not I can talk about things with my wife. Failure to keep her husband's secrets destroys her husband's trust in her, and may even lead to the loss of the stability of the family that trust brings.

Shut up when you should be silent

Mr. and Mrs. Harry were fishing by the river, and Mrs. Harry was chattering away. Soon, a fish took the bait. Mrs. Harry said: "This fish is really pitiful!" Mr. Harry said: "Yes! As long as it shuts up, it will be fine!"

When Zhengzai and his wife were shopping I saw my former neighbor walking over with his wife. As a result, the two women chatted endlessly on the street, and the two men had to wait nearby. After returning home, Zhengzai complained, which resulted in a series of accusations from his wife. At first, Zhengzai would defend himself, but soon he realized that if he did not remain silent, his wife would definitely not forgive him. Zhengzai even made up his mind not to argue with his wife anymore, since he couldn't argue with her anyway.

I can only imagine what the relationship between husband and wife will become if this continues.

Remaining silent when appropriate is a must-learn lesson for women. When beauty reaches a certain level, it must be matched by silence. All kinds of brilliance will eventually return to dullness. This is a kind of breathtaking beauty.

Don’t ask about the past

Wife: “Tell me about your first love!”

Husband: “Isn’t it you!”

Wife: "Isn't she the beauty of the class next door?"

Husband: "Nothing!"

Wife: "Is she more beautiful or am I?"

Wife: "I don't believe it. Just deal with me! If she's not beautiful, how can you still keep her class photos?"...

It can be guessed that the last conversation between the couple must have ended with the wife complaining. A married man is not willing to talk about his former lovers. If his wife is smart, she should seize the present instead of asking about the past.

Mature people don’t ask about the past, smart people don’t ask about the present, and open-minded people don’t ask about the future. People in love should trust but not be suspicious, should be tolerant but not demanding.

Don’t ask if you love her

A friend of my husband’s said, “At first, my wife asked me if I loved her, and I told her tenderly that I did. Later, it happened more often. , I felt that the answer was perfunctory, and I felt really annoyed, but I couldn’t be anxious with my wife, it felt like a routine matter.”

Romance in a woman’s heart is often a nightmare in a man’s mouth. . If there is no "I love you!" women will be in panic all day long. Men who have been taught since childhood that they should express their masculinity without losing their masculinity have a deep-rooted concept: "It is very 'sissy' to say 'I love you!' on your lips!" So they would rather use other methods. to express love. Men believe that working hard and making money to support the family is the best proof of love.

Women like sweet words, but if you want to get a perfunctory answer, ask your husband every day if he loves you. I have also asked this question before, but now I have learned to feel it with my heart.

Don’t expose his little tricks

Zheng Lanzhen’s husband often tells her some jokes, and no matter how many times she hears them, Lanzhen can always laugh her head off. I asked her, how can you still laugh so happily after hearing it so many times? Lan Zhen said, "He didn't do that just to make me happy!"

Yes, men are always playing tricks, maybe for the romance of love, maybe to win the favor of their lover, maybe It's just bragging to satisfy your self-esteem. Women shouldn't expose it at this time. As long as your lover is happy, it's not difficult to be more relaxed and pretend to be stupid and go along with him.

Suddenly I remembered my birthday that year. In fact, my friend told me very early that you were preparing a birthday surprise for me, and even told me the details, but I pretended not to know. On your birthday, you went out very early and told me that I didn’t have to wait for you to come back for dinner in the evening. I pretended to be disappointed. When I saw the suppressed smile in your eyes, I suddenly felt that even pretending to be stupid was a kind of happiness. You came back before get off work in the evening, and brought me a big cake. Looking at my shocked look, you couldn't control your laughter, and I was laughing too, but I will never tell you why you were laughing. you.

Don’t be a gossip

There is such a story in Europe.

A harmonious village that has been like a family for hundreds of years suddenly has endless troubles with neighbors. The villagers who used to sincerely say "good morning" whenever they meet, now look at each other angrily. Almost every household became an enemy.

It turns out that the wife of a patrolman who just moved to the village not long ago is a gossipy woman, and all the bad consequences come from her irresponsible whispers. The villagers knew they had been fooled and ignored the woman. She soon moved away, but the harmonious relationship among the villagers could never be repaired.

Everyone rarely interacts with each other. When night comes, the door is closed early and no one pays attention to anyone.

Spread words that hurt others. Even if you can't stop others from saying it, forget it after hearing it. You can't say it to others yourself, because the tongue is the most poisonous in the world.

Don’t be too blaming when quarreling

I once saw a story like this. Two people who had known each other for a long time got married. The wife had a bit of a temper, and every little thing could become a quarrel. reasons. The garbage is not taken out, the door hits the wall when opening the door, the food makes noise... Because they know each other very well, the wife has no scruples in blaming her husband during the quarrel. A year has passed, and nothing has changed in her family's life. It's just that the couple eat together less and less often, they no longer quarrel, and they no longer talk. Like a train that has branched off, running further and further away.

"I am unlucky to marry you. You are always so worthless!" "You never consider my feelings. You only care about yourself." "Why is my life so miserable? Marry You idiot."... This is what my wife often says. John Gutmann, Ph.D., author of "7 Principles for a Happy Marriage", believes: "Contempt will speed up the collapse of a marriage." When a wife psychologically looks down on her husband and says hurtful words regardless of his feelings, , love is about to come to an end.

Don’t expose each other’s shortcomings

Pepper Schwarz, Ph.D., professor of sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle, USA, author of "Love Between Equality: How to Really Make Marriage Equality" Point out: Using words like "always" or "never" makes it "impossible for your husband to have a normal conversation with you in the moment."

I once heard that a husband in Gyeongsangbuk-do didn’t say a word to his wife for 12 years after a quarrel because she scolded him, “You grew up in a garbage heap. man". His wife's words hurt his pride. The sensible child and the elderly man tried many ways to reconcile them, but to no avail. His wife regretted these words. She thought about it and it was not because of the big things that they had argued about. If she had been calmer, she would not have said it. That's what happened.

Dr. Heward Markman, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of Denver and author of "Fighting for Marriage: Rules for Avoiding Divorce and Making Love Last," believes that "often wives respond to their husbands The biggest complaint is that they don't say anything to you at all; the most consistent opinion among husbands is that talking too much can cause arguments. "So he advises: "If you want your husband to not only listen to you but also talk more to you. When you communicate, you must always be calm."

Never talk about divorce

Many couples will say loudly when they quarrel: "I can't live in this life anymore. Divorce!” In fact, most people don’t want divorce when they say this, it’s just an angry comment. Unfortunately, some people make confused decisions after saying these confused words in anger. They actually go through divorce procedures in anger, only to regret it later.

I know a couple. When they first got married, the wife would cry for divorce whenever she was dissatisfied. The husband would immediately run over and admit his mistakes repeatedly, so the wife said that divorce was becoming more and more frequent. In fact, it was just I want my husband to bow his head, but I don’t really want a divorce. A few years later, the wife mentioned the word divorce again during a big fight. Unexpectedly, the husband stood up and said, "Then divorce, I'm too tired." The wife was dumbfounded.

Don’t underestimate these two words, they can hurt people for a lifetime. It is not only the couple who are hurt, but also their children. Marriage should be maintained with love and protected with affection. If there are no conflicts in family life that require sacrificing marriage, there should be no divorce.

Since I love you, I should give you a relaxed environment to enjoy my love. Since I love you, I will keep a piece of the past for you, keep a piece of dignity, and love you along with your secret. It's useless to ask about things in the past. If you think you need to tell me, you will tell me yourself. If you don't want to tell me, you won't be willing to answer even if I ask you, and you might even lie to me. Put your secrets in the wind instead of in your heart, and both of you will feel relaxed.