Why do people always understand what others say negatively?

In fact, many people are like this. I think this is a habitual way of thinking to protect myself and avoid responsibility, which is related to the interpersonal environment where I grew up and contacted.

I can't help but think of a male guest in the first issue of If You Are the One who described the difference between linear thinking in the west and curved thinking in the east. At that time, I drew a picture on the big screen, and the oriental thinking was awkward. What seems like a joke is actually based on a mode of thinking.

1. China people express themselves implicitly. When expressing good or bad, they don't want to be abrupt with each other, but they also want to point out something. People who need to be obedient have the same educational level and comprehension ability. When this condition is not met, negative understanding is common, probably because you don't understand.

2. His own growth environment will also affect his thinking mode. I can give an example of my mother here. My mother is the eldest daughter of the family, and there are two younger brothers below. Although she has not been treated with excessive preference for boys, judging from her usual way of speaking, her mother's first reaction when she speaks is to wonder if others have ulterior motives. Later, I learned from the side that when my mother was young, she often didn't have enough to eat at home, but my brother ate a lot when he was young. At that time, my family and neighbors would laugh and praise my mother for being sensible, and finally they would say, let my brother stay at home and don't compete with him for food. I wonder if it's because of this that my mother thinks that when others care about you, they often want to take something from you in disguise.

3. The influence of interpersonal relationship. Complex interpersonal relationships create complex thinking patterns. I think, especially the big state-owned enterprises in the past, the hierarchical relationship is more complicated. Think carefully about the deep meaning behind the leader's words, and think carefully about whether there is any bad influence behind the words of colleagues. Interpersonal communication in daily work was on thin ice, so the development of large state-owned enterprises at that time was of course slow. When I was working, I was thinking about how to avoid making mistakes in my life and work and taking responsibility.

Therefore, to avoid or weaken negative understanding, we must first strengthen our own study, broaden our horizons and improve our ideological pattern. And in daily life, we should always review and reflect. Kindness requires a lot of energy, and you have to improve yourself to have real positive energy.