Who can tell me a funny joke?

1. Best friend! When I have money, I will flush your toilet with remy martin, light your cigarette with US dollar bills and give you 999 roses.

You take a bubble bath, take you to work by Boeing, and use Princess Zhu Huan as your maid! Okay？

Part 1: The wind is blowing and the rain is falling. I am waiting for your call back!

In a word: live for you, die for you, and wait for you all your life!

Horizontal batch: sent to the wrong person.

3. A farmer will kill the chicken tomorrow and feed it at night, saying, Eat quickly, this is your last meal! The next day, I saw the chicken lying down.

I left a suicide note: I took rat poison, you can't eat me, and I'm not fucking easy to mess with!

4. People are really tired when they are alive! You must wait in line when you get on the bus. Secret love is really painful. Eating is tasteless, drinking is easy to get drunk, and going to work is very special.

Tired, you can't rob, you have to pay taxes to make money, and even you have to pay for texting pigs!

5. It takes five minutes to wait for a subway; It takes three hours to see a movie; Full moon in January; It takes a year for spring to come;

It takes a lifetime to miss someone; But it takes a second to say a word of concern: it's cold, so put more grass in the nest.

6. The centipede was bitten by a snake and had to be amputated to prevent the spread of virus liquid! The centipede thought: fortunately, I have many legs! ! Doctor comfort

Dude, take it easy. You will be an earthworm in the future.

7. Fish said: I keep opening my eyes just to keep you in my eyes forever.

Water said: I have been flowing, just to hug you forever.

The pot said: It's almost fucking ripe, and you are still so poor! !

8. The sky is blue and the sea is deep, and nothing a person says is true;

Love is eternal, blood is bright red, and men can't live without K;

When a man has money, he is predestined friends with everyone;

Men are reliable, and pigs can climb trees! !

9. I told my mother that I like you and want you to come to my house and stay with me day and night, okay? get through

These days I find that I can't live without you, but my mother won't. She said: pigs are not allowed at home!

10. The mobile phone married the mother machine and gave birth to PHS. It was disgusting and the signal was poor, so it was impossible to roam.

I couldn't text each other, and I was heartbroken. After DNA testing, I found that my father used a walkie-talkie instead of a mobile phone.

1 1. What is pride? Cow!

What is modesty? Pretend!

What is thrift? Hey!

What is dedication? Stupid!

What is cleverness? Blow it!

Who is the beauty? You!

12. An ant happened to pass by and looked up at the clouds.

At the peak, I can't help but sigh: Yes, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau. ...

13. You are old enough. There are some things you should know! The sky is used to blow; The land is used to grow grass.

Yes; I was used to prove the greatness of mankind; You are used to stew vermicelli.

14. On the plane, the crow said to the stewardess: Give me a glass of water! After listening, the pig also learned: give me a glass of water, too! Diverse

The waiter threw the pig and crow out of the cabin. The crow smiled and said to the pig, Are you stupid? I can fly!

15. The chimpanzee accidentally stepped on the stool pulled by the gibbon, and the gibbon gently and carefully cleaned it for her.

In love, others asked how they came together, and chimpanzees said with emotion: ape dung! It's all ape shit!

16. Bajie was snuggling up to the Goddess Chang'e flying to the moon when he suddenly saw a man hiding in a tin can and flying by. Chang 'e exclaimed:

Someone is peeking at our privacy! The pig asked: Is it from Gao Laozhuang? Chang 'e I: Fortunately, it's Yang Liwei.

17. The big black bear put a beehive into the water and tried to soak the bees in it. Who knew that after the bees came out,

I chased the big black bear around the world. Seeing this, Mrs. Bear cursed: You stupid bear, how dare you brew honey?