Help me find some humorous stories (jokes) about toilets.

once born, twice familiar, three times walking by the roadside, four times shopping, five times going in and out, holding hands, six times having a hug when you are free, seven times throwing coins in the wishing pool, eight times having a happy life, nine times worrying about financial difficulties and ten times having a new love every day. Bye!

You said I was crazy, and I came to 12; You called me sentimental, which alarmed 11. You cry, it rains at 121; When you get angry, call me at 119!

God gave me a pair of feet to teach me how to stand still, but I only learned to run away; God gave me a straight waist and taught me how to be indomitable, but I only learned to show off!

You're the wind, I'm the sand, I'm Ye Er, you're the flower, and others are praising you. Without you, I'll go to the bar, climb on the floor when I'm drunk, miss you, and the sky will collapse. After I get drunk, I'll party in the street and be sent home by the police uncle!

the internet is all deceiving people! Netizen netizen, the net has nothing! Online dating online dating is always lovelorn! Internet cafe Internet cafe, the net is covered with scars! Network network, the network is heartbreaking and depraved!

four years in college-freshman: the university road is still smooth and smooth; Sophomore: I still have to finish college in four years, so I am upset; Junior year: I still haven't finished college, so I'm impatient; Senior: I'm still studying hard in college. My heart is broken!

there are small fancy wines every day, and the whole beer is finished after the whole white wine; If you are strong, you will have a strong hand, and you will not leave if you are not completely knocked down; After three rounds of wine, the mood is flying, and no one will help the wall; A dream is heartbroken, and when I wake up, I see a toilet!

seriously implement the principle of "four sons", treat your wife like a grandson, treat your mother-in-law like a dutiful son, eat like a mosquito and work like a donkey.

if I were a fox and you were a hunter, would you chase me? If I were tea and you were boiling water, would you soak me? If I were a car and you were a driver, would you drive me? If you are money and I am a passbook, I will definitely take yours.

Sitting alone in a lovesick chair, holding a lovesick pen, looking at the lovesick moon, thinking about you, writing a lovesick letter, saying every lovesick word, and shedding lovesick tears. I'm thinking about you!

Three-color law of life: income should not be gray, privacy should not be peach, and husband should not be green.

women's fears: first, I'm afraid of being a sophomore and having a big waistline; third, I'm afraid that I don't have pocket money; fourth, I'm afraid that my clothes are out of date; fifth, I'm afraid that my children won't go home in bars; and finally, I'm afraid that my husband's heart is too flowery.

you are a pen, I put you in my pocket, you are a lozenge, I put you in my mouth, you are underwear, I stick you on my body, you are my hair, I didn't dare to take a bath for half a year for fear of scalding you.

First-class woman: the family dominates. Second-class woman: quarreling at home. Third-class woman: beaten at home. Fourth-class woman: gas suicide.

a broken pot has its own broken lid, and an ugly ghost has its own ugly girl's love. Asako can shine as long as the love is as deep as the sea.

I flew to America in a hurry just to eat a hamburger; When I go out and meet a talent scout, I have to say that I am the best actor. How can these beautiful things happen? Dream!

classification of students. Students who repeat a grade are called international students; The students with money at home are called: gifted students; Students who doze off in class are called poor students.

poor man: the cause belongs to the country, the honor belongs to the unit, the achievement belongs to the leader, the salary belongs to the wife, the property belongs to the children, and the mistakes are your own.

glaring is a temper, and being beaten is the purpose. Don't look at my thin arms and explosive power. If you don't believe me, try it!

A broken pot has its own broken lid, and an ugly ghost has its own ugly girl's love. Asako can shine as long as the love is as deep as the sea.

I sat in the hall before the Qing dynasty and carried a gun in Beiyang army; Wuchang city was abandoned, and the Northern Expedition helped. Nanchang periphery was injured; Long March over the wall, stealing sheep in the anti-Japanese war behind enemy lines; Who else can be better than me?

I thought of you secretly last night, and my dream was full of salty tears. When I woke up, it was a pillow of saliva that blurred my vision.

in dreams, a shotgun is exchanged for a gun. Originally a three-legged cat, it added a tiger waist. When you walk, you are tiger and tiger, and your heroism is soaring into the sky. It's too bad to wake up and look at it. The tiger has become a straw bag.

the taste of first love: yogurt, sweet and sour; The taste of love: wine is easy to faint; The taste of marriage: tea, if you don't change it, the more you soak it, the lighter it becomes. The taste of divorce: coffee, bitter but sobering.

one thin and one fat two women meet. The thin woman said, "If I were as fat as you, I would have hung up in the morning." The fat woman said, "When I hang myself, I must use you as a rope."

Late at night, Bush suddenly woke up from his dream and found bin Laden standing beside his bed with long hair: "How dare you!" Bin Laden shook his head: "Rejoice is so confident!"

The so-called "pointing at the belly" means … pointing at the girlfriend's belly and saying to her parents, "Mom and Dad, we are getting married!"

excuse me: can you guess a female artist for farting in the elevator? Answer: Karen Mok (Mo Wenwei). Are you working again? I have told you more than once not to work so hard and pay attention to your health. But you always say meaningfully, "If you don't roll more dung balls while the weather is warm, what will I eat in winter?"! ！”

2。

there are some things you should know! Days are used for windy and rainy days; Land is used to grow flowers and grass; I am used to prove the greatness of mankind. And you: "It is used to stew vermicelli!"

3。

Don't get drunk again. Yesterday, someone saw you chasing a pig with a wine glass and shouted, "Are you a brother?" Brother did it! ！”

4。

I am a lonely tree, standing by the roadside for thousands of years, waiting lonely, just for one day when you walk by me, I will fall for you, and it will be in vain if I don't smash you.

5。

If autumn leaves, I will wait for you in the snow; If the world goes, I will love you in heaven; If I leave, I'll let her take care of you. Really, her pig-raising skills are not bad!

6。

I know that you pay attention to hygiene, and you should wash your hands carefully every time you go to the toilet. Suddenly you didn't wash your hands. I was surprised: Why didn't you wash your hands? You replied, "I brought paper this time! ！”

7。

it's a pleasure to miss you; It's a great pleasure to meet you. Loving you is what I will always do; Keeping you in mind is what I have been doing; However, lying to you just happened.

8。

Every day, I pray to the Buddha for a long-lasting blooming rose, and when it reaches 999, I will give it to you together and say emotionally, "Little son, I don't believe that the attracted bees won't sting you! ！”

9。

It is reported that a few days ago, Iraqi armed forces hung a jade photo of you on the wall of Baghdad, causing a large number of American soldiers to vomit and die. After investigation and evidence collection by the United Nations, it is confirmed that this is a weapon of mass destruction, so run away.

1。

Couples in western countries are always getting divorced, because their lover is a little baby. Look at the elderly under the moon in China. They are full of experience, so the marriage of Mr. and Mrs. China is more permanent. Carrot respectfully handed the business card when he saw the customer. The customer looked at the business card and asked, Why are you called Korean ginseng? The carrot has a small waist. "People are haha!"

11。

Today, when you wake up, there is a mosquito lying beside your pillow, and there is a suicide note beside you: I have struggled all night, and your thick skin makes me ashamed to live in this world! Lord, forgive him! I committed suicide.

12。

Someone saw you today, and you are still so charming. You are walking slowly in a plaid vest, and you look so detached and comfortable. It's really cute. I don't know how you competed against rabbits in those years.

13。

In one year, a man wrote more than 8 love letters to his girlfriend, and as a result, his girlfriend finally announced that she was getting married. The groom was the postman who sent these letters to her.

14。

The hairdresser was chatting while shaving the guest's face. He was so busy that he didn't pay attention to shaving off the guest's eyebrows. The barber asked: Do you want to keep your eyebrows? Guest: Stay! Barber: Alas! Why didn't you say so? It's shaved off!

15。

husband: honey, I was fired. Because of a little thing, it's so unfair! Wife: Why? Husband: I forgot to close the tiger cage after work last night. But they don't want to think, who dares to steal a tiger!