A selection of funny dialogue jokes?

Introduction: Funny motto, allowing you to find the truth in laughter. The energy of jokes is infinite, and it can bring joy and a harmonious environment. Are you ready to enter the world of jokes? Next is the "" I have carefully prepared for you, welcome to watch!

*** Popular articles***

1. I heard that you can pay with your face soon. I don’t know which plastic surgery hospital in Shenzhen is good. I want to look like Jack Ma, but I don’t know if it’s possible

2. I just set a new login password for the computer and entered: wodejj. The system prompts: Error, the password is too short. The computer has been smashed now!

3. On the first day his wife disappeared, he found her at Lao Wang’s house next door. His wife will never ask why he went to Lao Wang’s house that day.

4. It was a cold spring, and a man's pleading cry came from a remote part of the park: "Brother, let me go!" Another older man replied calmly: "No!" "I'll give you a car." ?" "That won't work!" "Brother, no, brother..." Along with the shrill cry, the older man slowly raised his hand and slammed it down with a "bang": "General !"

5. Someone asked me: "If I gave you one million now, but you wanted your best friend to die, would you be willing?" I thought for a while and said: " Yes, but can you give me more?" "One million is not enough for you?" "No, I mean shit." 6. Someone asked me, Iron Man and Spider-Man are both. They are superheroes, what is the difference between them?

7. Answer: Iron Man can have as much money as he wants, and Spider-Man can have as much money as he wants.

8. Both the mobile phone and the charger love each other deeply and they have never been separated. It's just that this time the owner went on a business trip and only brought his mobile phone and forgot the charger. When he came back, the mobile phone burst into tears when he saw the charger: "I'm sorry, my dear, while I was away from you, you once took advantage of me when I was gone." When charging...I was hit by another charger..."

9. During the quarrel with my girlfriend, at noon, the girl shook me on QQ and sent a ∑, confused, and then I was embarrassed to ask her what it meant, so I copied and pasted it and asked all my friends what it meant. A cousin gave a simple and powerful answer. The meaning of this thing in Excel is called automatic summation

10. Two thousand yuan How to get a girl? The plan is to spend 1,500 yuan to buy a mobile phone for the sister, leave 500 yuan for food and rent a house, and ride a scooter to find the girl. The sister said: You are a good person, but we are really not suitable. The plan is to rent a BMW 5 for 2,700 yuan, buy 99 roses at the wholesale market for 300 yuan, and tell his sister that he likes to hold hands and go to a romantic snack bar for 100 yuan. His sister slept with him that night, and it was because of love. . . . Option 2 tells us that the charm of business models is everywhere.

***Classic***

1. My father wanted to dye his hair black because he had too much white hair. I immediately objected. I said dyeing hair would damage the hair quality. There are Many harmful substances are also very bad for your health. It is normal for your hair to turn gray as you age, just let nature take its course. Despite my strong opposition, my father gave up in the end. I feel very relieved now. When I was in junior high school, he firmly disagreed when I wanted to dye my hair blond. Haha, my revenge has been avenged

2 .On the subway, I saw a girl wearing sexy clothes. She was so beautiful that it made me have wild thoughts. So, after a fierce ideological struggle, I finally mustered up the courage to think boldly.

3. "Hello, I am an off-road vehicle. What kind of vehicle is yours?" "I am a truck." "Speak nicely! You are so cute!"

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4. He approached the boy step by step with a cigarette in his mouth and said, "You have been following me for months." The boy panicked and said, "I am not a bad person!" He dusted off the cigarette ashes and said, "But I am a bad person." His heart was pounding: "Don't come here...I, I, I have a gun..." He stamped out the cigarette with his foot and pushed the boy into the corner: "Come on, I'll leave if you don't shoot.

"The boy closed his eyes, gritted his teeth, took his hand out of his pocket, and poked his heart with his finger: "biubiubiu"

5. At the door of the obstetrics and gynecology operating room, the wife nervously held her husband's hand." Husband, do you like a boy or a girl?" My husband said calmly: "I like them both. If it's a girl, I'll buy it online for you two. If it's a boy, then we'll buy it online for you together!"

6. Men find shaving troublesome. Women all find it troublesome to put on makeup. The transvestite can accomplish these two things every day, which is really amazing.

7. "In order to get my husband to agree to buy a bag, I have to wear my tongue." "You have been talking for a long time?" "No."

8. A puppy saw a puppy The wolf rushed up to hug him and shouted for his father desperately. The wolf was confused: "My child, you must admit it wrong, I am not your father." The puppy: "You are! They all call me wolf dog!" The wolf: " Could it be that...I have really...been a loser?"

9. The prison is trying to gather the twelve zodiac signs Guo Meimei - Aries, Li Daimo - Taurus, Ke Zhendong - Gemini, Zhang Yaoyang - Cancer, Zhang Mo - Leo, Rui Chenggang - Libra, Zhang Yuan - Scorpio, Huang Haibo - Sagittarius, Yin Xiangjie - Aquarius, Ning Caishen - Pisces. It feels like this is actually a battle royale of zodiac signs. Wang Xuebing, a Virgo, has just been captured, and there is only one Capricorn left. The prison is trying to gather all the twelve zodiac signs!

10. My wife was released in front of me Damn it, sir, I almost fainted. So he asked his wife: "What are you eating to make such awesome farts?" My wife said: "What? You still want the formula?" .

***Selected Article***

1. Although most of the content that the previous generation liked to forward was about health care, the values ????were hidden in those topics that were widely spread. Basically, there are two kinds of slogans: "not to suffer" and "to take advantage". In fact, they seem to be one kind of slogan. Here are some examples: Seven sentences worth tens of millions, you will lose a lot if you don’t maintain your health like this, secrets to cure diseases without spending money, grab Didi coupons quickly...

2. Young model A, received I will take photos of any bag and watch and post them on Instagram to thank my boyfriend, a typical Barbie; young model B, thoughtful, every time I receive a gift, I will inadvertently show it off in the form of street photography after a period of time, various types of traveling alone, creating an independent, independent, rich and beautiful atmosphere. As a result, A's boyfriends were not as good as the previous one, and each of B's ??boyfriends were better than the previous one. Finally, they got married seriously, breaking out of the vicious competitive environment of one-night stand.

3. Beijing celebrity celebrities Wang Xuebing, Li Daimo, and Yin Xiangjie had many cheatings, and Shanghai celebrity celebrities Chen He and Wen Zhang had many cheatings. The capital city, the Yellow River in the South and the poison in the North.

4. Today is Women’s Day. My wife said that women don’t have to do anything on this day, and husbands will do all the things they usually do. I thought it made sense, so I put on makeup for an hour. , spent three hours shopping online, and then lay in bed for an afternoon of Korean dramas.

5. The new boss is a Fujianese, young, promising and handsome. Today he called me into the office and said to me: "Xiao Li, I want a cactus, yellow and pasty color." I was confused at that time, what the hell is yellow and pasty color, is it the color of shit? How can a cactus be like this! We argued for a long time, and he finally couldn't help but opened the curtains, put on his sunglasses, pointed at the sun and said word by word: "Fairy! Human! Palm! Ah! Yellow! Paste! Color!"

6. "Jupiter Ascending": The girl who cleans the toilet continues to clean the toilet after going through all kinds of hardships to own the earth. This film reveals the profound truth that a person is still a person even if he wins the lottery.

7. If the pocket money given by your husband is around 10,000 per month, you can call yourself this palace! Around 6,000 means you are a noble person! Around 4,000 means you will always be there! Around 2,000 means you agree! 1,000 She is a palace maid at more than 500 yuan! You earn money and spend it yourself, so you can only be a family member! Now you know your position! Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats! If you don’t have a penny, what are you doing with him? Get out of the palace! Wu Zetian is financially independent and can call herself me.

8. I have a straight friend who accidentally turned on *** in front of his girlfriend. My girlfriend didn’t say anything at the time but remembered the location of the file, and later secretly deleted all the videos. As a result, The two have been in a cold war for a long time; I have a gay friend who took a USB flash drive to my computer and copied dozens of gigabytes of movies, and gave it to my boyfriend as a birthday gift on his birthday. The boyfriend was so moved that he burst into tears. These two real people The stories put together clearly show that how to fall in love with different genders?

9. It’s not a sin for a man to cry, it’s a sissy.

10. What does the metaphysical concept of "Feng Shui" refer to? According to its characteristics: invisible, colorless and odorless; affected by the placement of furniture; its quality directly affects the quality of life. We can easily come to the conclusion: Feng Shui = WiFi signal.