What is the latest joke on Fang Qingping’s talk show?

Summary

1. Just blurt it out, my name is Fang Qingping. Born on August 5, 1970, my mother said I was born in the year of Dog, and my wife said I was Leo. I couldn’t figure out whether I was a dog or a lion. I was afraid that my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law would have conflicts, so I was considered a poodle. .

2. I have been on the Beijing Spring Festival Gala for three consecutive years. Last year, I launched my own program "Blurting Out" on the Beijing Literature and Art Channel. Now I am really popular and make a lot of money. What is Bill? Gates, who is called Buffett, stopped eating when he saw me.

3. I said I would take a break, except for those two brothers, it was me. The insoles I use are all from Chanel. The ear scoops are made by Hermès, the tickles are made by Vacheron Constantin, and the watches are drawn with ballpoint pens. It’s not that they can’t afford them.

4. I am afraid that Dai Zhen will be photographed and cause trouble. Rich people like us would marry a daughter-in-law. What is a movie star or a singer? I don’t like it at all. Let's find the diver.

5. My wife was originally the embryo of a world champion, but she got a little too hot-tempered and jumped into the pool before the water was released. The coach even shouted yes, said yes, and there was no splash at all.

6. If your head hits the ground and your neck is poked into your chest, then everyone else does this when they appear on that platform. My wife did this and the coach made her retire. The wedding of our couple was so grand, and 200,000 extras were used for the group exercises alone.

7. It is composed of four words, good together and easy to break up. It is not these four words, it is good to be together for a hundred years. The wedding dress my daughter-in-law wore was made of pure gold and weighed more than 160 pounds. After wearing it, she could not walk. , I pushed her in a trolley. My wife’s teeth were inlaid with more than 20,000 diamonds, and her lips were turned outwards.

8. The diamond in the molar tooth has worn out the cheek, and blood spurts out when speaking. We don’t need a fleet of cars to pick up a bride, we use a fleet of planes, and it has nothing to do with the back plane. It’s just that the plane my wife and I took was open-top, and my wife was blown away several times.

9. Fortunately I had a parachute, otherwise I would have been single again. The wedding is scheduled to be held at the Burj Al Arab Hotel in Dubai. The price per table is US$8.88 million, excluding drinks and Erguotou brought from China.