Urgent for 5 interesting idioms and 2-3 jokes.

Blue knife and blue gun-invulnerability (blue) Title: A man dressed in gold-a surprised (golden) man

The number "3" walked on the road, did a somersault, and then turned an a- Answer: Three transgressions twice.

A dog stopped barking when it crossed a wooden bridge —— A: It never forgets anything (Wang)

The eleventh book-answer: incredible (book 1 1)

Cattle, dogs, pigs and sheep race. After running to the finish line, all the cows, dogs and pigs were panting, but the sheep didn't breathe-stood straight (the sheep didn't breathe)

A bee stung on the calendar-Feng (bee) and Sun Li (calendar)

Here comes a bear-prepared (here comes the bear).

The sheep calls the eagle-Yang Feng (the sheep calls) disobeys (the eagle: "hello")

What kind of bat doesn't need rest-sloppy (restless bat)

The mobile phone must not fall into the toilet-it's now or never.

A group of people threw eggs at the gun-bullet rain (egg rain under the gun)

Eating with chopsticks-popular (chopsticks are popular)

There are ten sheep, nine squatting in the sheepfold and one squatting in the pigsty-cadence (one sheep squatting wrong)

God, this is the only one in the whole area that hasn't installed a telephone-flawless (God-no telephone).

Why does a dirty hat have to be turned over-Zhang Guan Dai Li (wearing a dirty hat)

Whether the duck is cooked or not, if you give it enough conditions, it will not fly away-it is difficult to fly (give it a wing)

visitor

One day, his father watered the flowers in the backyard and told him, "If anyone comes to see me, you should call dad." Soon, my cousin shouted "Dad" outside. His father ran out to meet the guests. The guests were puzzled and asked, "Why does this child keep calling me dad?" ....

Jianguomen

A foreigner holding a ticket for 50 yuan waved it in front of the conductor: See? Have you seen it? ……

The conductor was stupid, so he simply took out a program of 100: Have you seen it?

Finally, I learned that the man wanted to go to "Jianguomen!"

thief

A gentleman often loses his wallet on the bus. One day, before getting on the bus, a gentleman folded a thick stack of paper and put it in an envelope. After getting off the bus, he found the envelope stolen. The next day, a gentleman just got on the bus and felt a hard object around his waist. He felt it and saw it. That was yesterday's envelope, which said: Please don't joke like this, it will affect his normal work. Thank you!

seat

A beautiful lady took out a tissue from her bag and wiped her seat hard after getting on the bus. When she was about to sit down, she farted. A gentleman next to him listened and joked that the young lady really loves hygiene. After rubbing for so long, she still wants to blow!