Joke Collection Website - Joke collection - Ask for a few cold jokes, the more the better. Super cold.
Ask for a few cold jokes, the more the better. Super cold.
When a boy had sex with a girl, the girl received an offer from Duke University. At the boarding gate of the airport, the girl anxiously looked at the figure of the lady here. But when the familiar body really appeared in front of her, the girl did not dare to look at the attachment in each other's eyes. "If you want me to stay, I will give up studying abroad." The girl secretly made up her mind. I saw that the boy took out a beautifully packaged gift box with a mechanical watch that stopped the needle. The boy gently put the watch on the girl's wrist, wound it up, loosened it, and the stopped watch hand began to circle again. "Yes, everyone will have a new beginning. Why stick to this moment?" The girl thought about it, shook her hand and walked quickly into the boarding passage. There was no hesitation in her heart, only a glimpse of the sobbing back touched a chord slightly.
Sixty years later, the girl's temples were stained with snow. She was packing at her home in Boston and preparing to move. The American wife outside is coaxing her grandchildren into the car. Suddenly, the mechanical watch at the bottom of the box suddenly appeared in front of her, and the memory suddenly returned to the airport 60 years ago. "Girl" sighed for a while, wiped the surface, wound the watch, let go, and the stopped hands began to circle again. . .
My wife shouted many times outside and didn't hear the response from the "girl". On entering the room, she was holding an old-fashioned tearful eye.
-What does that mean? . . . What the boy wants to express is that the watch is gone. . .
It's freezing! ! !
two
Rukawa Kaede from northern Hunan enjoys a very good reputation in Kanagawa, partly because he plays basketball well and partly because he is really cool. This gentleman treats everyone equally, not to mention that a smile is rare.
You can even use two words when you speak, but you will never use three words.
One day, the new teacher made a mistake in English class and asked Liu Chuan to stand up and read a text. Liuchuan looked at the text, afraid that there were not a few hundred words. How does this make him shake his head? "No," the young teacher remembered the educational psychology he had studied and kindly encouraged him, "Never mind, read boldly." Liuchuan was impatient, and to tell the truth, "it's too long." The teacher was caught off guard and froze on the spot. He wanted to attack, but he was afraid of losing his manners. He said patiently, "Then you can read a paragraph and let the students behind you read the rest." Liu Chuan picked up the book and read: "Lesson!"
Two. "Read the teacher nodded and sat down. The little girl who worshipped blindly in the classroom fell down. How can this be a cool word?
In the long run, boys can't help complaining. This Rukawa Kaede is pretending to be cool without restraint, which makes the little girls in the middle school of Kanagawa, an off-campus school, nervous and distracted, and regard other boys as nothing. In the long run, how can there be a way for everyone?
Xiandao in Lingnan is another handsome boy in Kanagawa, but it has adopted a completely opposite style to Liuchuan. It is kind, cheerful and helpful, and people around it are like spring breeze.
One day I was hanging out with my classmates after school and heard my brothers complaining about Liuchuan. After listening carefully, Xiandao found that in Liuchuan's many acts of vomiting blood, the most hateful thing is this style of cherishing words like gold.
Xiandao was very disapproving: "What's the matter? He just happened to miss the opportunity to talk more. " As soon as his voice fell, the good-hearted people made a bet to see if Xiandao could make Sichuan very talkative. It's humiliating. The probability of winning the fairy road is 1 ratio 10. Xiandao smiled: "It turns out that everyone has so little confidence in me." A few weak-willed guys, under Dawson's soft pressure, almost put their money on Dawson's winning side, but at the thought of Liu Chuan's deadpan face, they hesitated and lost to Dawson. Sendao left on the left.
After school, Liu Chuan came to play ball in Xiandao as usual and said coldly, "One-on-one." Xiandao said kindly, "That's what I thought." Then I pulled Liuchuan to play billiards all night and won Liuchuan out of the water.
The next day after school, Liu Chuan came to Xiandao to play ball as usual and said coldly, "One-on-one, basketball."
Xiandao said very kindly, "That's what I thought." Then I dragged Liu Chuan to play a computer basketball game all night, and Liu Chuan won.
On the third day of school, Liu Chuan came to Xiandao to play ball as usual and said coldly, "One-on-one, basketball, on the court." Xiandao smiled and said very kindly, "That's what I thought."
Then La Liuchuan went to Aichi Middle School in Aichi Prefecture to borrow a basketball court to play. As a result, it was a long distance by bus, and it was completely dark in Aichi County, so he had to take the last bus back. But fortunately, the scenery along the way was not bad, and Liuchuan slept soundly.
On the fourth day after school, Liu Chuan came to Xiandao to play ball as usual and said coldly, "One-on-one, basketball, on the court, in the small park next to your home." Xiandao was very happy: "You want to go with me."
Then I rode Liuchuan's bike together. On the way, I went to the supermarket (to buy lunch), the seaside (to have lunch) and Lingnan (Xiandao later remembered that I had left something at school). When Liu Chuan rode with Sendao, Liu Chuan was too tired to walk, and Sendao won Liu Chuan again.
On the fifth day, ...
On the sixth day, ...
……
……
On this day, after school, Liu Chuan came to Xiandao to play ball as usual and said, "Xiandao, let's play basketball. On my way here today, I saw a very nice small stadium, and there were few people. Only four or five people are playing ball. I asked them, and they can't call until 6 o'clock at most, so we can connect them. They said that the stadium was brightly lit at night, so it was no problem to hit 10. Can you go now? Have you brought everything you want to take home? Have you finished all the homework to hand in tomorrow? Think about it carefully, don't think that you have done it now, and then remember that you didn't do it later. Now that I think about it, it is not too late to borrow homework from my classmates. When you go home, you will think about it again. Where to find your classmates? They also went home. What do you want to eat tonight? I don't want to eat anything too spicy or salty today. It's better not to be too sweet. We can't go to the seaside tonight,
I listened to the weather forecast, and the wind was seven ..., ..., ... "
Explanation-People are forced out, and Rukawa Kaede can be the Tang Priest.
three
A group of great scientists played hide-and-seek in heaven after their death, and it was Einstein's turn to catch them.
Dude, he counted to 100. Open it.
& gt Eyes, I saw that everyone was hiding, only Newton was still standing there.
& gt& gt& gt& gt Einstein walked over and said, "Newton, I got you."
& gt& gt& gt& gt Newton: "No, you didn't catch Newton."
& gt& gt& gt& gt Einstein: "You are not Newton. Who are you? "
& gt& gt& gt& gt Newton: "What do you see under my feet?"
& gt& gt& gt& gt Einstein looked down and saw Newton standing in a square with a length and width of one meter.
On the floor tile, I don't understand.
& gt& gt& gt& gt Newton: "This is a square meter under my feet, and the cow is standing on it."
Tons per square meter, so
& gt You didn't catch Newton, but you caught * * *. "
...
...
...
..
..
..
..
..
.
..
..
..
.
..
.
.
.
* * * = Pascal
4. Terror is absolutely real
My colleague's grandmother and my colleague's parents live in a small town.
One night, my colleague's parents went out after dinner. Grandma is the only one in the room who does housework and has a rest.
Rest. His parents had just gone out for a while when grandma heard a knock at the door. many ...
Grandma went out to open the door and opened it.
There is no one outside. ...
Grandma is a little strange, so she went out to look around ... but she still didn't see anyone.
So grandma walked into the room.
After a while, I heard someone knocking at the door, "Duo Duo" and "Duo Duo" ...
Grandma answered the door again and opened it!
Still nobody!
Grandma thought, did the child joke with her and enter the room again?
After a while, the sound of knocking at the door rang again. ...
Grandma was a little panicked and lit a fire. She had to open the door when she went out.
Only to find it outside the door!
Still nobody!
Grandma came into the room and thought to herself, is it because my colleague's parents have been having trouble with others recently, and people have played tricks on them?
In the following time, the knock on the door was intermittent, but grandma stayed in the room and didn't answer the door.
until ...
A few hours later, my colleague's parents went home.
Grandma went to ask mom and dad, who had a problem with recently? Someone has been knocking at the door this evening, but I
Get the door, there's no one outside! Scared me to death!
Mom and dad, think about it. It seems that there is no contradiction with anyone. Are children boring people? That's not true.
I knocked patiently for hours.
Suddenly, dad remembered something! I saw him walking behind grandma.
Turn on the screen before going to the computer!
Looking back, he said, "I forgot to turn off QQ…… when I went out ..."
five
One day, Mr. Wang found his 5-year-old son Xiaoming acting a little strange.
Towards evening, he stood by the window waving his hand, as if he were still mumbling.
Mr. Wang walked quietly behind Xiaoming, but he heard Xiaoming say, "Goodbye, goodbye ..."
Mr. Wang looked out of the window, but there was no one. It's been like this for several days in a row. At this time, Xiao Ming stood at the window, repeating the words that made Mr. Wang creepy.
Finally, Mr. Wang couldn't help it. He called his son over. "Xiao Ming, who are you saying goodbye to at this time?"
"Grandpa." Xiao Ming looks naive. Mr. Wang's scalp is fried. "Which ... which father-in-law?"
"Grandpa Sun ~"
six
A man was out on a business trip and suddenly came home.
I heard a man snoring at the door.
The man walked away silently and sent a message to his wife:
"Divorce! ! ! "
Then throw away the mobile phone card and fly away. . .
They met again in a city three years later.
The wife asked: Why did you leave without saying goodbye?
The man told the story.
The wife turned around,
Simply put: that's Rising's little lion.
7. Go crazy after reading it
1945 One day, a mysterious baby girl appeared in an orphanage in Cleveland. No one knows who her parents are. She grew up alone and no one interacted with her.
It was not until one day in 1963 that she fell in love with a tramp for no reason, and things got better. But the good times did not last long, and unfortunate things happened one after another. First, when she found out that she was pregnant with the child of a tramp, the tramp suddenly disappeared. Secondly, when she gave birth in the hospital, the doctor found that she was bisexual, which means that she had both male and female organs. In order to save her life, the hospital gave her a sex-change operation and she became him. Most unfortunately, the little girl she just gave birth to was kidnapped by a mysterious person. This series of blows made him never recover, and finally he became a homeless tramp on the street. Until one day in 1978, he walked into a small bar drunk and told an elderly bartender about his misfortune. The bartender sympathized with him and offered to help him find the homeless man who got him pregnant and disappeared. The only condition is that he must join their' time travel special forces'. They got on the "time flying car" together. When the flying car went back to' 63, the man let the tramp out. The tramp inexplicably fell in love with a girl who grew up in an orphanage and got her pregnant. The man took a "time flying car" for more than 9 months, snatched the newborn baby girl from the hospital, took the baby girl back to 1945 with the "time flying car", and quietly put her in an orphanage in Cleveland. Then he brought the muddleheaded tramp to 1985 and let him join their' time travel special forces'.
After the tramp got a formal job, his life was on the right track. And gradually mixed into a quite good position in the special forces.
Once, in order to complete a special task, the superior sent him back to 1970, disguised as a bar buddy and pulled a tramp to join their special forces.
- Related articles
- Rubble and The Story Of Diu Sim met there and there.
- [Looking for a good picture book] "The thief's garden" flowers and plants are also alive.
- How Steel Was Tempered Reading Notes: About 3,000 words
- I love you, son, that's all.
- University merger joke
- Why does eating onions fart so smelly?
- How much money do you have after graduating from college for three years?
- [Life Essay] Thoughts on Winter Vacation-Illness
- Why BYD Tesla's nightmare?
- When did Tong Xiangyu ask Li Dazui to cook and fight for a red chamber?