Five word puzzles, five couplets and five jokes (with homophonic sound)

Five crossword puzzles:

Little by little, big heads

Two trees with no outcrop

Two people break through Tianfu

The sun and the moon come together to be brave

There are

five couplets hanging on the moon for half a day:

Rain flowers bloom early before spring, and frost-free leaves fall late after autumn.

On the side of the sinking boat, Qian Fan passes, and in front of the diseased tree, Wan Muchun.

as the days go by, people will live longer, and spring will be full of blessings.

it is easy to get the moon by being close to the water tower, and it is easy to meet the flowers and trees in the sun.

firecrackers sound out the old year, and thousands of red plums celebrate the new year.

five jokes: with homophonic voice

1. Ears are here

The newly appointed magistrate of a county is from Shandong. Because he wants to hang up, he said to the master, "You buy me two bamboo poles."

The master recognized the "bamboo pole" of Shandong accent as "pig liver", and quickly promised to go to the butcher's shop and tell the shopkeeper.

The shopkeeper is a clever man. He immediately cut off two pig livers and presented a pair of pig ears.

After leaving the butcher's shop, the touts thought, "My master told me to buy pig livers, and these pig ears are mine of course ..." So he wrapped the hunting ears and stuffed them into his pockets. When he returned to the county government, he reported to the magistrate: "Report back to Grandpa."

When the magistrate saw that the master bought pig liver, he said angrily, "Where are your ears!" Hearing this, the master turned pale with fear and hurriedly replied, "Ear … Ear … here … in my … pocket!"

2. There is an "opportunity"

A commodity salesman went to Guangzhou on business. After arriving in Beijing, he wanted to go by plane, so he sent a telegram to the manager for fear that the manager would not agree to the reimbursement: "There is an opportunity, take it or not". The manager thought it was the "opportunity" of the transaction, and immediately called back: "You can take it." < p According to the stipulation that plane tickets are not reimbursed, the salesman took out the manager's call back, and the manager was dumbfounded.

3. Do it when you see a chicken

Once upon a time, there was a landlord who loved chicken very much. The tenant rented his family's fields, so he had to give him a chicken first.

there was a tenant named Zhang San, who went to pay the rent to the landlord at the end of the year and shared the land in the following year.

when he went, he put a chicken in a bag and paid the rent. He told the landlord about the tenancy of the field in the next year. He insisted that his hands were empty, so he said with his eyes open, "There are no three kinds of fields." Zhang San understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag.

When the landlord saw the chicken, he immediately changed his tune and said, "Who will I give it to if I don't give it to Zhang San?" Zhang San said, "Your words have become so fast!" The landlord replied, "Just now, that sentence was' nonsense (chicken talk)', and now this sentence is' acting according to circumstances (chicken talk)'."

4. Is the headmaster angry?

At the school affairs meeting at the end of the semester, the headmaster was furious at the inefficiency of personnel administration. He said, "Those in charge of directors' business are not sensible; Being unconscious in charge of personnel management; Being an official doesn't work! "

5. Meeting in the countryside

In a meeting in a village, the village head said, "Rabbits and shrimps, don't paste melons. Pickled vegetables are too expensive." (Comrades and villagers, don't talk. Now the meeting is over.) The host said, "Sausage paste melons are invited for pickles." (Now the township head is invited to speak.) The township head said.