How to treat grandma's poor adopted son in A Dream of Red Mansions as a cause of family decline?

There's an old saying in China that "you can't be rich for three generations". Why do you say that you are richer than three generations? Because the "rich generation" is the first generation to build the world from scratch, they naturally know the hardships of struggle from the bitter days, so most of them can maintain a simple life after starting a business successfully. The "rich second generation" is also a bitter life with the "rich first generation" since childhood. At the same time, the "rich first generation" can also give some positive energy to the "rich second generation". The "three generations of the rich" were born with golden keys. They were born to enjoy a luxurious life. There is no entrepreneurial experience, no hard work for a day, and I don't know the hardships of crops. Therefore, the "rich three generations" are easily infected with the bad habits of rich children and become black sheep.

If we interpret the decline of Lao Jia's family in A Dream of Red Mansions from this perspective, it can be seen that "being rich for three generations" is indeed the truth. The Jia family started with the word "water", but stayed on the word "generation". Speaking of the word "literature", it is the third generation. As a result, this generation has problems. Xuanhe's family collapsed in an instant, and suddenly changed from a township head to three fat people. Why is this happening? This is a problem with the education of this family. The "rich generation" of the family left only treasures of gold and silver, leaving no family traditions and family precepts for future generations to pass on. This responsibility should be placed on the "water" generation. There is a problem with the word "Wen" at home, which is related to the poor upbringing of the previous generation.

Saint Amethyst has a proverb, "If you don't teach, it's your father's fault". It seems that teaching children should be a father's job. But don't forget that our ancient civilian educator Meng Mu and her mother-in-law were both women. In ancient China, women didn't go out to work, so besides being actors at home, it was their duty to be husband and wife. Therefore, the final decline of Jia family is closely related to the failure of Jia Jiaozi. So what are the problems in Jia's educational methods?

First of all, grandma is partial to children, and no bowl of water is flat, which has laid a curse. Jia She once made up a joke at the Mid-Autumn Festival family dinner to express her dissatisfaction with Jia Mu's partiality. It stands to reason that Jia She is the eldest son of the family and attacked his father's title. He should be in charge of family affairs, but Jia Jia put Jia Zheng in charge and Mrs. Wang managed the housework. Of course, Jia forgives himself, but he can't paste mud on the wall. He deserves it. But is Jia She, as a mother, responsible for the formation of Jia She's despicable personality?

There is an old proverb that says well, "Teach a woman when she is new, and teach a baby." It is said that it is necessary to discipline the daughter-in-law, starting with the daughter-in-law entering the house. And disciplining children means tutoring from infancy. Because at the beginning of life, human nature is good. No one is born a bad person. Therefore, when children are young, their outlook on life has not yet formed. Starting education at this time has a great influence on his later life. And once the child grows up, it will be very difficult for him, and you won't listen to anything he says. Jia Jia doesn't know this. Jia She and Jia Zheng are her own sons, but she has always disliked Jia She's "attaching importance to politics and neglecting forgiveness". Jia She naturally doesn't have a good tutor, which is undoubtedly equivalent to planting a time bomb for this big family.

Yan Zhitui, a thinker and writer in the Northern Qi Dynasty, once had a wonderful exposition on the harm of eccentricity in his book Family Instructions of Yan Family, saying, "A man's beloved son is rare. Since ancient times and today, there are many disadvantages. A moral person can enjoy his love, but a stubborn person should pity him. Favorite people, although they want to be thick, are even more unfortunate. " Since ancient times, parents seldom treat their children equally. Smart children naturally like it, but they also have sympathy for naughty and stupid children. If you are partial to a child, you love him on the surface, but you actually hurt him. And gave several examples to illustrate, such as * * * uncle's mother, Yuan Shao and Liu Biao. These people are partial to their children, which leads to the tragedy of family destruction and death.

Therefore, for a family, the result of parents' partiality is often that the loved child is fearless and pretends to be a little emperor, while the unloved child will give up on himself and gradually go astray. Become a hidden danger to this family. Jia She is an example. Because he was greedy for money and ran amok, he was finally punished, sent to the frontier and his property was confiscated. The members of Lao Jia's big family are all grasshoppers tied to a line. When Jia She's eldest son fell, it immediately triggered a domino effect. The once famous Lao Jia family has become a hairless phoenix. If it weren't for Jia Jia's little money, I'm afraid the whole family would have to drink northwest breeze.

Jia's partiality to her son led to Jia's disaster and was on the verge of extinction. And her connivance and connivance to her grandchildren directly led to the Jia family's lack of successors, and she had to be the 80-year-old woman in charge of the overall situation at the critical moment. Jia's favorite is her precious grandson Jia Baoyu. Jia Baoyu's most photogenic person is Jia Zheng, who is most afraid of Jia. Jia Zheng beat Jia Baoyu, made Jia Jia angry to death, scolded Jia Zheng, and told the pages around Jia Zheng that he would never entertain Jia Baoyu again. Since then, Jia Zheng has never disciplined Jia Baoyu strictly, and Jia Baoyu has nothing to hide. He wandered around the yard all day and hung out with a group of young girls. After the Jia family finally fell, Jia Baoyu became a useless waste.

Therefore, when Jia Zheng was faced with the situation that his family was ruined, he lamented that all his sons and nephews failed to live up to expectations and thought of his son Jia Zhu, who died young. If Jia Zhu can still help him, although Jia Baoyu has grown up, it is useless after all. Of course, Jia Zheng did it too hard. It is human nature for her to be a grandmother, but Jia Baoyu should not be spared. Like a small tree growing evil. If you don't straighten, you will never straighten yourself. Therefore, what Jia Mu did was actually hurting Jia Baoyu.

Grandmother Jia dotes on her grandchildren and doesn't take their shortcomings and mistakes seriously. Jia Baoyu doesn't study and make progress. She never cared. Jia Lian was caught in bed by Feng. So he asked Xi-feng, "What's the matter? Children are young and greedy cats, so they can't live there. The whole world has played like this since childhood. " Jia Mu didn't take Jia Lian's infidelity seriously. Later, Jia Lian secretly married Second Sister You, which aroused the jealousy of Xifeng and killed Second Sister You with a poisonous trick, resulting in a great tragedy. Therefore, the embankment of a thousand miles, collapsed in the ant nest. Jia's indifference or connivance to these people in the later generations directly led to the decline of the prominent family of Lao Jia's family. At the critical moment, no one in the later generations could inspire their family style, and in the end it could only be the end of "a vast expanse of white land is really clean".

The failure of Jia Jiaozi also sounded the alarm for us modern people. Now most families are only children, so naturally there is no problem of favoritism. Parents gave all their love to their only child, but now children are very fragile, can't stand a little frustration and always want to die. Many children commit suicide because of a little thing. Other children have been formed a bad habit by their parents since childhood, such as drinking, fighting, gambling and picking up girls, which is the result of parents not tutoring their children since childhood. It is also the result of long-term indulgence and neglect of discipline. There is another sentence in Yan Family Instructions: "If parents are dignified and kind, children will be timid and filial to their parents." Parents are indispensable to their children's majesty and kindness. Majesty can make children afraid, and kindness can make children cautious in words and deeds. Such a child can become a dutiful son. Therefore, Jia Zheng is too dignified and Mrs. Wang is too loving and not a good parent. As for Jia Mu, she is dignified and virtuous, but she didn't use it in the right place, so she can only be a negative example of her godson's incompetence.