As a parent, can you accept that your children are ordinary or even mediocre?

Yes, that’s great.

I graduated from 211 University, and my daughter has just taken the high school entrance examination. Based on her grades, she can only go to an ordinary high school.

I have long been a Buddhist.

I usually don’t let her attend tutoring classes because she doesn’t want to go and I don’t want her to be so tired. She has only learned swimming and table tennis, which she likes. She said she wants to learn Sanda this year, and she will most likely learn it.

In addition to studying with teachers at school, she usually studies by herself. I bought her an iPAD and some interesting lecture courses from famous schools. She enjoyed learning very much and said it was more interesting than what the teacher taught.

When she is not studying, she reads and draws on her iPad.

After the high school entrance examination, my child asked me, Mom, what if I can’t go to high school and am assigned to a vocational high school?

I asked her, do you want to go to a vocational high school?

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She said she didn't want to.

I said, then I will pay for your education in a private high school.

My daughter also said that she was afraid that she would not be able to get into college.

I said it doesn’t matter, I’ll just repeat it.

My daughter also said that she was afraid that she would not be able to get into a good university.

I said it doesn’t matter, if you can’t pass the exam, just go to an ordinary university!

My daughter said that she was afraid that it would be difficult to find a job in ordinary universities.

I told her, what is your purpose of finding a job?

My daughter said, it is to make money.

I said, don’t think so utilitarian, I will work hard to make money and find a way to make you worry-free for the rest of your life. You just need to do what you like. I have no other requirements for you, as long as you are healthy and happy.

My daughter said, but how can that be done? I don’t want to become a waste.

I told her that failing to get into college or failing to get into a good university is not a waste and she should not have such thoughts. And since we are in Hebei Province, it is difficult to get into a good university. This is beyond our control. We can only do our best within our capabilities. Even if you have never gone to college, if you find the right path, making money will not be a problem at all.

Actually I did the same thing. I used to earn 2,000 a month after graduating from college. Now I can earn more than 100,000 a year without having to work. I figured it out little by little.

Someone asked me in the comment area what I do. I work in technology. I used to be an engineering project manager and a consultant in a management consulting company. Because I like to write, I now make a living by coding. I have tens of thousands of fans on Zhihu and have been writing for six years. It is not replicable and I have no money-making experience to share, so I can rule out the possibility of Versailles.

I studied very well in high school. I took second place in the mock exam among 3,000 people, but this did not affect me from becoming an ordinary person in the end. (Someone in the comment area asked me why I only went to 211. In fact, I could go to Xiamen University, but my parents thought it was too far away from home and I was a girl. They didn’t want me to go, so they went to a school in this province. This is me A lifelong regret. )

My daughter said that I am excellent. Her excellence refers to the fact that I have been studying and my income exceeds 10,000.

In fact, when I just graduated, I only received 2,000 yuan and had no house or car. Later, with my own efforts, I jumped to a well-known company in Beijing. My income was much higher. I also bought a car and a house (not a house in Beijing) without a loan.

But I know very well that a monthly income of over 10,000 yuan is nothing. But on the other hand, data shows that people with a monthly income of more than 10,000 yuan account for only about 5% of the total population. In other words, my income has exceeded 95% of the people in the country, so I am still considered excellent.

But even so, I admit that I am really just an ordinary person.

Life is a long-distance race, and only a small number of people run in front. Most people will eventually become ordinary people.

Therefore, it is not unacceptable for my child to be an ordinary person in the future.

Besides, life is only a few decades, so why think too much. If we recognize this reality sooner, both my children and I will live a happier life.

The last photo is of my child sleeping with my cat owner~

The mediocrity of the child shows that he is still a child. If he is mediocre now, he may not be mediocre in the future, right?

If you can't accept it, ask your child to start reading.

You can have bad grades, but you can’t read less books.

Times have changed. In this uncertain era, only lifelong learning can keep you from falling behind the times. The only way to keep from falling behind the times is to read and read.

If you let your child develop the habit of reading, he will definitely be grateful to you when he grows up.

As a parent, I have always been a Buddhist mother, so I can especially accept my children being ordinary or even mediocre. I only gave my eldest daughter three years of English and three years of composition in her six years of primary school. Most of the children in the same class are taking tutoring courses in three subjects besides Chinese and Mathematics, and some even take one course from several training institutions.

There are even a few parents who give their children one-on-one training classes in the sixth grade of primary school. They see those parents spending a lot of money for their children and they are frugal and are reluctant to buy even a decent piece of clothing. But spending money on children’s education simply means that you are not willing to invest in your children no matter how expensive it is.

The eldest daughter performed exceptionally well in the best one-dimensional examination for primary school to junior high school, scoring 391 points plus 20 additional points, with a total score of 411, becoming the best in her class, ranking first name.

Before the original tune, my daughter had always been among the top ten in the class in terms of academic performance. She must have performed exceptionally well that time.

Because during the entire elementary school period, apart from giving her two education classes, I did not pay attention to my children's grades all the time like other parents, and urged my children to study until 11 or 12 o'clock in the evening every day.

Watching parents discussing how late to help their children with homework every night every time they pick them up from school makes their children so angry that their blood pressure rises.

My eldest daughter’s mother has a male classmate in elementary school. She even memorizes her child’s Chinese textbook. She can immediately and skillfully speak out which side of each lesson. She is the kind of person who learns with her child. The attitude really makes me feel inferior to myself. I really can’t do that to work so hard on my children’s studies.

I have always felt that parents have their own work and private space, and they can just do a good job in supervising their children's normal studies, ensuring that their daily homework is completed on time and that they can concentrate and listen in class. The teacher's lectures are very good.

I can’t understand the anxiety of these parents. Although I understand that every parent hopes that their children will become successful and their daughters will become phoenixes, every child has his or her own advantages, and one cannot be measured solely by their studies. The good and bad of children.

It is good to be able to become a dragon or a phoenix, but if the child ends up becoming an ordinary person or even a mediocre person, we parents should also accept it calmly.

Because after all, like those 985 and 211 top schools, the chance is one in ten thousand. It is like walking on a single-plank bridge. What we parents should do is to face the reality calmly. Our children with average academic performance will become good students in the future. An ordinary person can be a useful person to society in the future as long as he has a healthy mind and is optimistic and positive.

All roads lead to Rome, and studying is not the only way out. If the child really cannot study, it will be in vain for us parents to worry.

My eldest daughter had the experience of getting into the best key junior high school, but in the end she failed in the high school entrance examination and couldn't even get into the general high school.

I was disappointed at the time, but I was able to face reality quickly afterwards.

In the end, I chose an ordinary vocational school to study in 3+2, but because the school felt that my eldest daughter’s score was too high for a vocational school, because her high school entrance examination score was only 3 points lower than the average score. Even though I only got 56 points in the English test, the total difference was 3 points.

Afterwards, we were able to pay for a private high school, but because my daughter was unwilling, we finally chose to study in a 3+2. Later, on the second day of registration, the school director called us to the school and persuaded us to change our choice. Vocational high school.

Yesterday, the score line for the Vocational College Entrance Examination came out, with a total score of 624. This year, the score line for the Undergraduate Skills College Entrance Examination is exactly 620 points, so my eldest daughter will be able to go to college in the same way as children who have graduated from a normal high school.

This result is the best result for us. Originally, we were planning to send our children to the best school for military vocational education and junior college, and then gradually upgrade to a junior college.

Now that our child has been admitted to a bachelor's degree, it is the icing on the cake for us. We have never been worried about what we will do if our child does not have a university to study.

Because my cousin has not graduated from junior high school and now runs his own business with an annual salary of 500,000, which has become a good talk among our relatives and friends.

On June 7, the day of the college entrance examination, the unit leaders allowed employees who had children who were taking the college entrance examination to take a day off to go home and take the exam. As a Buddhist mother, I didn't tell the leader that my child was also taking the college entrance examination. I continue to go to work. The school arranges for my child to take the exam.

The children of three employees in the unit also took the college entrance examination. On that day, they specially bought red clothes or skirts to wear for their children to take the college entrance examination, which was full of a sense of ceremony.

Some colleagues who know that my eldest daughter has passed the college entrance examination said that I am so Buddhist that I don’t even send my children to the college entrance examination?

But I think the college entrance examination is just a test to test a child's three-year academic performance. Being able to get into the ideal school is just the icing on the cake for us. If we fail, we can accept it calmly.

So when the college entrance examination results came out yesterday, I, as a biological mother, didn’t even know that the scores had come out. When I went to work after 7 o’clock, my colleagues asked me how my children were doing, and I only found out that the college entrance examination results had come out.

My colleagues laughed at me for being such a Buddhist mother, because I have always been able to accept my daughter not going to college, as long as she is healthy, safe and happy.

In fact, why not be that little girl applauding others on the roadside?

Everyone will have a different life trajectory. You don’t have to squeeze into that single-plank bridge together. The key is to laugh in the end. No matter what school you go to, you will have the ability to make money when you enter the society and you can make a living. A worry-free life is the most important thing.

For many parents, it seems that only if their children can go to 985 or 211 can they be proud and proud. But for me, as long as the children can have the skills to make a living when they enter the society and can support themselves and not gnaw at their old age, that’s it. The best reward for me.

A colleague of mine spent more than 200,000 yuan on tutoring fees for his children in elementary school, junior high school, and high school in three years. In the end, the child only attended an ordinary second-level education. When he goes out to find a job in the future, he will be like those who did not spend a lot of money on tutoring. Fee's children are on the same starting line.

Moreover, parents are still living in anxiety, which is harmful to both the children and the physical and mental health of the parents.

Therefore, being able to accept the mediocrity of children is really a mentality that every parent must learn. We must know that each child has a different flowering period. What we parents should do is to do a good job in the logistics of our children to ensure that their children Regarding nutrition, having a healthy body is more important than anything else. While having a healthy body, you must have an optimistic and positive attitude to prevent children from being affected by parents' anxious attitude, which will eventually make children anxious and perform poorly.

Can you accept it? In fact, I am confused too! I tell my children, I don’t blame you if you have tried your best but haven’t achieved the desired results; if you are lazy and unwilling to learn, and end up doing nothing, I will definitely not let you go!

I always waver between the idea that he will grow up in peace and health and that he will study hard and get ahead.

My son has mediocre qualifications, is not outstanding, and is not stupid. On this point, I, as a mother, feel the same as Ming Jing. They are children who will get results if you push them hard, but will collapse if you relax.

He is thin and very picky about food. From a distance, he looks like a numb person, and his nose bleeds frequently. For such a child, I am very afraid that his grades will fall, but I am even more afraid of pushing him too hard and causing his body to collapse.

Therefore, I may not be reconciled, but I will eventually accept his ordinaryness!

I have twins at home, and as a parent, I am constantly learning and growing. Rather than wanting my children to become "other people's children," I hope they will have the ability to adapt to society in the future, and I hope they can Be healthy and happy forever.

Acceptable!

My own children are my darlings, unique in the world. Maybe they will be ordinary, ordinary, or even mediocre all their lives, and they are also the best in the eyes of their parents. As long as they are He worked hard and the result was the best no matter what! It is also my favorite.

As long as you are healthy, you can continue to work hard. As a parent, you don’t ask your children to be capable or strong. As long as they are healthy, happy and happy throughout their lives, that’s enough!

Of course I can accept it. As long as the child grows up safely, healthily and happily, nothing can be exchanged for it. Ordinaryness is the truth. Parents are ordinary people. Do we expect our children to become dragons and phoenixes?

We are all ordinary people. We never want our children to be rich and wealthy, but to live a safe and happy life!

Of course I can accept it, because my husband is someone else’s best friend, and only my own baby is the best. We are all ordinary people, so why can’t we accept our children?

Look at it from my personal point of view: Everything in the world has its own unique way of growing. If the children can accept it calmly, the parents will be ordinary or even mediocre. Then parents should also accept their children's ordinaryness or mediocrity. This is a mutual issue, and the roles of parents and children are the same. The child chooses to accept his origin, no matter how high or low it is. And parents choose to accept their children, no matter how big or small their achievements are.

First of all, let me tell you an example about a good friend’s influence on the growth of his children. Ah Sen is my classmate and good friend. My grades were mediocre when I was a student, but after graduating from high school, I went out to work to earn money. Later, he opened a small computer repair shop, bought a small house, married a wife and had children. However, he and his wife were very strict about their son's study and education. Unfortunately, the children always refused to accept instruction, became rebellious, fought, and got into trouble during adolescence. Later, I hastily graduated from high school and went to learn to work in a computer store in Assen. When Asen first got together with our classmates, he would always complain that his son was ignorant and unsatisfactory. Unlike other friends, my child is already a top student at a prestigious university. In short, every time he saw Asen, he showed that he was dissatisfied with all kinds of things about his children. Later, some of our classmates enlightened him. Only then did he gradually accept that his child was an ordinary person. I also understand that I made some mistakes in my previous educational behavior towards my children.

Secondly, every parent, regardless of whether he or she is mediocre or not. They all have hope for the growth of their children. Otherwise, a few days ago, I saw on the Internet that a senior high school student from a school in Nanjing rented a house to accompany his mother and put pressure on the child, which led to a violent conflict between the student and his mother. In the end, the student accidentally killed his mother. What a painful lesson this must be!

Everything in the world has its own destiny. As a human being, everyone is an independent individual. As long as this life exudes positive energy, everything is beautiful.

No matter ordinary or mediocre, a vigorous life is also lived in the eyes of others, and a truly rich and fulfilling life is a truly meaningful life.

Mr. Feng Zikai said: "Since there is nowhere to escape, it is better to be happy. Since there is no pure land, it is better to meditate. Since you have not achieved your wish, it is better to be relieved!"