018: How to evaluate a person? ——The 5 dimensions of self

018: How to evaluate a person? ——The 5 Dimensions of Self

When it comes to accurately evaluating a person, the most important thing is to have a fairly reliable observation framework and a method to follow step by step, so that you can compare people Do a comprehensive assessment.

The most common and well-known theory is naturally Freud's theory of personality structure. This theory divides people into "id", "ego" and "superego" "Three parts, and divides a person's personality development process into five stages, the oral stage, the anal stage, the Oedipal stage, the latent stage and the reproductive stage.

From this, the "Big Five" personality theory was derived, which was proposed through statistical analysis of words that describe personality. Through a series of statistical analyses, researchers found five words that describe personality. Traits (vocabulary), these five traits are independent of each other and basically cover all aspects of a person's personality. When put together, they have a complete explanation of a person's personality.

Specifically, these five traits are:

1. Extraversion (saying a person is extroverted or introverted)

2. Neuroticism ( Emotionally stable or not)

3. Openness (Is a person imaginative and changeable, or pragmatic and rigid)

3. Agreeableness (Is a person trustworthy or ruthless and suspicious)

4. Conscientiousness (orderly, cautious, and self-disciplined; or disorderly and careless)

However, there are some theories that are convenient for scientific research and statistical induction and are suitable for ordinary people to use , are two different things.

For example, professional (securities, fund) industry researchers will have a set of complex and complete tools to track companies and industries with investment value and potential. However, for ordinary people, daily investment and financial management It uses a completely different set of simple and feasible valuation methods.

What I mentioned this time is the evaluation method summarized by Teacher Wu Zhihong based on personal experience. It may not be scientific and rigorous enough (you are not a professional psychologist, it is more important for you to be able to solve daily problems).

1. Self-stability. The better the performance of this dimension, the more stable and solid a person's self is; the lower the score, the more fragile a person's self is and the easier it is to collapse;

2. Self-flexibility. The better the performance of this dimension, the easier it is for a person to adjust in time; the lower the score, the more a person sticks to his or her own self;

3. Self-boundary. The better this dimension is performed, the more a person can extend himself to a larger space;

4. The power of self. A person's strength, whether he has surging strength or just a trickle;

5. Self-organizational power. Can a person constantly improve his or her self? In particular, can one make timely adjustments under high-pressure situations? Can one be able to heal when his or her self is shattered?

Let’s give corresponding explanations one by one:

Stability of self

If we use an analogy, it means that a person’s “self” is as hard as alloy steel. Indestructible, you can accept all kinds of negative emotions and changes, and you are not just overwhelmed by emotions and unexpected situations, your face collapses, or you are broken if you don't do well enough.

The stability of "self" is very low, even very brittle, which means that a person's self-shell has too many cracks or even is broken. For example, a person with a particularly broken self may This is how I describe my daily life: Every morning when I wake up, I feel as if I am broken into pieces. I barely put myself together and take it with me to work. It's like peeling off your skin, leaving you walking in the biting cold wind, with your whole body filled with pain and fatigue.

Self-flexibility

People with high self-flexibility can sensitively perceive the states and emotions of others and adjust their own state immediately.

For example, a person with high self-flexibility is equivalent to a person who has strong adaptability, good acting skills, and loves the position of actor. He can play various roles in life well and needs to switch roles frequently. Not too tired either.

However, self-flexibility and self-stability are not absolutely opposite. A person can have self-stability, keep himself from collapse in daily life, and at the same time, he can also sensitively perceive the other person in a relationship. and make corresponding adjustments.

However, what is interesting is that people with too stable egos will lack insight into people and relationships (sometimes the ability to directly see the root of the problem through appearances), because insight is directly related to intuition. , and intuition can only be found by people who are not so complete in themselves and whose inner emotions are easy to reveal.

The territory of the self

For a person with a small self-territory, his self can only cover a very small place. He can only express himself freely on a few occasions and behave very poorly on more occasions. comfortable.

If a person perceives the outside world as hostile, he will probably tend to narrow his boundaries. If you let such a person go out, travel, etc., he will only feel particularly tired. Just imagine, people are in their own territory, and you have the final say. You know that you are very powerful in this area. Only in the environment of your attributes can you stretch yourself and be relaxed and comfortable. But what if you were suddenly thrown into a completely unfamiliar place? For example, when you wake up and arrive in London, Africa, etc. for no apparent reason, you are unfamiliar with the place and do not understand the language. Would your first reaction be to relax?

In this way, you can easily understand why some people around you are reluctant to socialize and "become extroverted"... They are relatively closed, passive and negative in life, and they are worried and anxious about the outside world. hostility. For someone who is particularly serious in this regard, if you drag him out, you will find that this person seems to have done nothing, but he just acts very tired. Because they are always in the "outside territory" rather than the "self's territory", the whole person is always in a laborious state of "vigilance" and "vigilance". For those who have a vast self-territory and are extroverted, it is travel and entertainment. But for these people, walking around is like working overtime, laborious and uncomfortable.

Because what they perceive in the outside world is not friendliness, relaxation, and happiness, but hostility and hidden malice. They are not friendly enough. They have to be on guard at all times, and every movement requires effort. It can make people extremely tired, even if they don't actually do anything, but because their mental energy has been wasted and exerted all the time, it is even difficult for them to notice it. This is why some people who have not done much feel tired.

On the contrary, for people with a large self-territory, your self-territory is even broader. When you arrive at a new territory, you have the desire to occupy it. At least you feel that in this new world, You can basically control the situation, so you are not nervous, can be relaxed and comfortable, and even feel excited. Establishing new relationships with new things or people will make you feel that your self has become fuller. Every relationship with new things and people will replenish your energy.

How do people with small self-territory expand themselves so that they can be more "extroverted"? The solution is to be aware of their hostility towards the outside world, or to constantly try to change to various new environments to interact with them. People in the new environment establish good relationships. If you can establish real good relationships, reality will allow you to experience the "friendliness" of the outside world, and the hostile and malicious relationships in your mind and subconscious will naturally change.

The power of self

This is a very interesting perspective. A person's self-power and source of mental energy are relatively fixed and not easy to change, just like a person's personality. Again, this model is the result of decades of experiences, choices, and shaping.

For example, if a person's self-strength is weak and is just a "trickle", it is difficult to become a torrential river.

For example, if a person has weak self-strength, and if you, as the boss, give him too heavy a task, he may not be able to bear the weight.

On the other hand, if a person has strong self-strength and the superior is willing to give the other person room for trial and error, then you can expect that this person will be qualified for the job after experience.

In the same way, if you assess that you are temporarily weak in self-strength, those jobs that require you to bear too much pressure may not be so suitable for you. If you continue to work hard, healthy, and mentally draining for a long time, If you stick with it, it's possible that all you'll gain is a one-way ticket to the crematorium.

Self-organizational power

This refers to the ability to be self-sufficient. Specifically, it refers to when a person is about to fall apart under high pressure, or is about to be defeated and disintegrated. whether it can be reorganized.

A person with strong self-organization ability will naturally pursue self-upgrade, let himself deliberately adapt to the environment very well, constantly understand himself and make adjustments and changes.

People with poor self-organization ability, for example, there is a story about "The Messenger of the King of Khwarezm"

Khwarezmo, formerly translated as "Huoxun", is a man located in An ancient country in today's western Central Asia, located on the lower reaches of the Amu Darya River and the south bank of the Aral Sea, on the land of today's Uzbekistan and Turkmenistan.

This story tells about the King of Khwarezm, Mahamoud Sultan, who was originally a man of great talent and strategy. His army massacred Genghis Khan’s caravan, which led to a war with Mongolia. In the first battle, as a victorious king, the Sultan himself participated in the battle. The battle was fought without light, but his army was defeated miserably. The terror of the Mongolian army frightened the Sultan.

After that, he has been hiding in the distant capital and never dared to confront the Mongolian army. Not only that, he also sent the messengers who brought bad news to feed the tigers, and sent the messengers who brought good news to feed the tigers. The messenger will be promoted and make a fortune. As a result, the Khwarezm Kingdom was completely destroyed by Mongolia, and 90% of its citizens were massacred.

This kind of person refuses to acknowledge reality and must first maintain his narcissism and "I am right". He refuses to acknowledge and accept in front of the grinning lion (reality) that wants to eat meat. "I am not perfect and I need to make corresponding changes" is a typical example of poor self-organization.

The most typical example is that some of the rich generation’s nouveau riche entrepreneurs have seized on the trend and become rich. They seem to be “in the clouds”. It is unacceptable for them to become CEOs and win wealth. An "imperfect self" turns a blind eye to the real feedback from the business world and relies on imagination to make decisions.

A typical example of this is the wine e-commerce industry I work in. There is a boss who hired a powerful trading team to make one of his micro-business products famous, and the investment meeting was crowded with people. , many agents expressed their optimism and wanted to cooperate with him. But the "staged victory" in front of him greatly satisfied his narcissism. He felt so happy in his heart that he instantly felt that he was "so awesome" and began to commit suicide.

For example, the boss forced the price of his products to be twice as high as those of competing products (although there is no obvious difference in the taste and quality of wine products); for example, the boss said that our The product ranks first in the national alcoholic beverage industry, which requires high standards. Agents must first put down a deposit of tens of thousands as "earnest money"...and must go to their company headquarters for a meeting to confirm their qualifications...even if his team later reported that they were willing to cooperate with There are only 5 dealers he cooperates with, but this boss still insists on "I am right", "I am the best" and "I am the best" and continues to raise the entry threshold.

In the end, the boss's product naturally became a piece of cake - no matter how hard you advertise, no one is willing to cooperate with you. Your own team cannot support a product. Nationwide promotion, how do you make real money profits with your “Nationwide No. 1 Liquor”? The boss's deeds are naturally laughed at by the industry. However, once a person achieves great success, he is suddenly told that "actually the situation is not that good"; and when a person suddenly suffers a major setback, he spontaneously chooses the "ostrich mentality", In fact, it is a very common thing.

Finally, I have a small suggestion. You might as well use the "5 dimensions of personality" mentioned in this issue to take a look at yourself first. If you score each dimension, the highest score is 10 points. You can evaluate it yourself. What is the score of the dimension?

(Reading - Insights from Wu Zhihong’s Psychology Class)